No Fucking Cat, No Fucking Cradle

This picture of an asshole made me laugh the first time I saw it. Or read it, or whatever. It still makes me laugh. Maybe its because most books you read when you are a kid and preteen don't really ever make you laugh. Maybe that's why Vonnegut was so beloved by teenagers and young people in general. Sometimes people ask me who my favorite author is and I think, "Vonnegut." But I always say something else. I always feel so sort of bad but like I should have a more serious answer. Like when Steve said one time that he isn't as much into They Might Be Giants because the people who are really into them are annoying. That's sort of how I feel about Vonnegut. He is great, the people who are super super into him are kind of annoying. I never wanted to be one of those people but I enjoy meeting other secret Vonnegut fans and talking to them. I think Cat's Cradle is my favorite.

Easter egg hunt in Ashland

I have so much to say

First of all, watch this video of my questionably racist nephew being interviewed by one of the guys who my brother works with. Who happens to be black.

Second of all, Sonofabastard commented that I should check out this Christopher Buckley Book Doomsday. So I did. Son of a Bastard! Christopher Buckley totally stole my idea!

A week or two back I wrote this somewhat facetious diatribe aimed toward the stupid boomers on Mick LaSalle's blog:

Oh jesus christ, here come the boomers and their self obsessive love for their own generation. Why, I was just telling my grandmother this afternoon that all boomers, those born between 1946 and 1964, should be euthanized when they turn 65 to ensure the future of Truth, Justice, The American Way. Oh, and stop buying so much crap, boomers! No one will feel sorry for you when you have not saved for your retirement and no longer have social security but bought brand new cars constantly throughout your 30's 40's 50's and beyond. And stop eating! You won't pay for my insulin but I'm going to have to pay for your heart disease medication and your five way bypasses! Son of a Bitch! I can't stand you all. Tell Oliver Stone to go crawl under a rock! Nobody's perfect indeed. You ruined this country!! My generation gave you the internet! What are you going to leave us? Credit Card debt and student loans for educations that in no way guarantee any kind of gainful employment!

Its true, I was telling my grandmother that and she and my uncle and both of my parents, who just barely miss the boomer starting date, all whole-heartedly agree with my assertion that they should all be killed when they turn 65. So here I am, a soon to be 29 year old blogger shooting off my mouth saying ridiculous things that I sort of actually believe and then stupid Christopher Buckley writes this book.

From Publishers Weekly[Signature] Reviewed by Jessica Cutler

It's the end of the world as we know it, especially if bloggers are setting the national agenda. In his latest novel, Buckley imagines a not-so-distant future when America teeters on the brink of economic disaster as the baby boomers start retiring. Buckley takes on such pressing (however boring) topics as Social Security reform and fiscal solvency, as does his protagonist. And get this: she's a blogger.Buckley's heroine is "a morally superior twenty-nine-year-old PR chick" who blogs at night about the impending Boomsday budget crisis. Of course, "she was young, she was pretty, she was blonde, she had something to say." She has a large, doting audience that eagerly awaits her every blog entry. And her name? Cassandra. And the name of her blog? Also Cassandra. Of course, Buckley doesn't let his allusion get by us:"She was a goddess of something," another character struggles to remember, which gives his heroine the opportunity to educate us about the significance of her namesake."Daughter of the king of Troy. She warned that the city would fall to the Greeks," she explains. "Cassandra is sort of a metaphor for catastrophe prediction. This is me. It's what I do." So Cassandra, doing what she does, starts by calling for "an economic Bastille Day" and her minions take to destroying golf courses in protest. Cassandra grabs headlines and magazine covers, and the president starts wringing his hands over what she might blog about next. Her follow-up: a radical but tantalizingly expedient solution to that most vexing of issues, the Social Security problem—Cassandra proposes that senior citizens kill themselves in exchange for tax breaks. Buckley, author of Thank You for Smoking, shows great imagination as he fires his pistol at the feet of his straw women and men. In 300-plus pages, though, it would be nice if he had found a way to endear us to at least one of his characters. Yes, we know that Washington is "an asshole-rich environment," as one puts it, but some Tom Wolfe–style self-loathing might be good for characters who use the word touché. Full disclosure: I'm a blogger of Cassandra's generation, and at times the totally over-the-top, relentlessly us-against-them scenario reminded me that I was reading a book written by someone not of the blogging generation, someone who Cassandra would want put down. Oh, the irony in these generationalist feelings. Then again, maybe that's exactly Buckley's point.

I think I'm going to sue. I just hope he doesn't sue me for actually being the embodiment of one of his characters.

Ether Bunnies, Ether Rabbits. Consumption be done?

Overheard by myself at the Big Lots on Friday:

Lady customer to cashier - "I'm just here to get pads (lifts up her feminine hygiene product for all to see) because I'm on my period. I'm bleeding. Yep."

Also, I read this blurb on the cover of a book called "Miss Misery."

"This is the Emo Fight Club."

What the fuck?

I took ever so many Easter pictures today. I'm going to stick them all up on Flickr later this evening so watch out for that. I forgot to take any pictures of my apartment though so I'll have to do that later. I am mostly all unpacked and organized except for my knick-knacks and bricka-bracks of which I have too many. Tooooo Toooo Many. I should get rid of some. They all have sentimental value though, you see.

Also, I saw that Beatrix Potter movie and I really liked it. It was very very very sickeningly sweet but it still made me cry like three times. I think I am becoming a lady because movies can make me cry so much easier than they used to. Also, I'm on my period. I'm bleeding. Yep. (Actually that is a lie.)

Bunnies are cute. Ewen McGregor is a perfect human being. Cute Bunnies + Ewen McGregor = Bestest Cutest Movie in the World. (I wish Bridget Jones hadn't made so many weird faces all the time though.)

Things I have been up to since my last post

Sunday - April Fool's Day!

Moved. I'll put some pictures up of my new place as soon as it is presentable and as soon as I find the batteries for my camera. Thanks to mumsy, popsy, brother, and nephew for helping me in this endeavor. It took us just under 6 hours to move everything I own some 10-15 miles south of where I was living. I think that's gotta be some kinda record, eh? I worked Sunday night and was so exhausted I could barely stand or think or do anything. Luckily, my job doesn't require any standing, thinking, or the doing of anything.

Monday-First day of the Spring Quarter!

Attended classes. I have Biology and Spanish on Mondays. I was done by 11am and walked ACCROSS THE STREET to my new apartment. Oh, and did I mention that I walked ACCROSS THE STREET to get to classes that morning and that I only had to leave like 10 minutes early and then I was still 5 minutes early for class? That's right. I continued to unpack and put stuff away and clean, etc, on Monday afternoon and then I went to work Monday night. I had a very long conversation with Steve and Marigold over the Google talk thing which is totally awesome and you should totally check it out. yeah. Steve and I had a lot of things to discuss and Marigold had to tell me some gross funny story about her dad and this guy with genital warts. Huck screamed bloody murder the entire time.

Tuesday-April 3rd

Attended classes again. This time it was Spanish and then a long break between classes where I went home and did some more unpacking. After that I went to my creative writing class which was sort of crazy. We got our first assignment which I had an insane amount of fun doing over the past couple of days. The teacher is freakish. Then I had my senior capstone class which only meets once a week. I have to do some kind of project. I used to know what I wanted to do but I think I changed my mind after going to the first class and finding out what some other people are doing. I think I was making it too hard and too time consuming. Tuesdays I don't have to work so I came home and ate dinner and watched American Idol and House and drank a glass of wine and unpacked and just had myself a gay old time.

Wednesday - April 4th

Attended classes. Biology and Spanish again and then my Bio Lab which sounds like it will be kind of easy this time. Not that it wasn't last time, but more so this time I think. Then I drove to Medford, visited with my mother and my abuelita and my nephew and Chachi Wachi at my brother's house. Then I went to work. Worky Work Work. As Steve and Marigold found out on Monday when I talked to them for so long while I was at work, I don't actually do a lot of work at work. We just kind of do busywork stuff and get our homework done and cover for each other's lunches and every once in while we have a little rush of people or phone calls and then its just more sitting around and chatting and looking at videos online and doing homework. I have such a great life.

Today

I went to Spanish and Creative writing today. The writing teacher was 10 minutes late and then he told us to go to the library, make a copy of something we like in a book or whatever, and then write about a page on why we like it. Then we had to leave and have it turned in by 3:50 today. I copied a page out of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf?" and turned mine in at 3:00 and then went to work early. Now I'm here at work, typing this. There. Now you are all caught up.

Jokes I made up.

I heard that the surviving members of The Doors are getting the band back together again. I went to audition to be their new lead singer but I didn't make the band. They told me, "You'd actually make a better window."

I seems like a lot of dead rock stars, like Jim Morrison, died from choking on their own vomit. I don't know about you but when my mom would serve me up a big bowl of steaming hot vomit and I would start to gobble it down she would always say, "Don't eat so fast! You're going to choke!" Thats how I've lived this long, I guess. I chew my vomit the recommended 30 times before I swallow it.

Heroes in a Half Shell! Turtle Power!

Today I posted this on the Mick LaSalle blog because I am one of those crazy people who posts things on newspaper websites now. I have become a modern day letter to the editor writer. One of those wackjobs. I've always admired those people for their intense relationship with their media. Anywho, this is what I commented:

"Speaking of The View... oh, wait, we weren't. Now we are. Speaking of The View, today Rosy et all weighed in on the Elizabeth Edwards Cancer Edwards Campaign issue and Joy expressed disbelief at the fact that many Americans believe in a literal interpretation of the bible. I enjoyed both of these conversations because they both speak to the fact that Liberals are still fairly of touch with a lot of America. I meet people all the time who are shocked to find out that there are many many people who believe Noah actually had that arc and managed to put all the animals into it. X2. Additionally, many people will not see Edwards as a standbyyourman kind of gal but rather as a woman who would choose to take part in a campaign instead of spending time with her children in what might be her last days. This may not play well in the heartland. Not that she has much of a choice. She is damned if she do and you know the rest."

I wanted to expound on this a little bit because when I said that I had met "many many people who are shocked" I started to think about to mostly my college days when I would meet people from southern california or the bay area and be somewhat glad and also somewhat snooty at what I thought was a mind set that was foreign to me. Especially when it came to the liberal minded kids, almost all of whom were at Humboldt anyway. On the one hand, I was so glad to meet such people as I had read about their existence and seen evidence of them on TV and knew of them within my own family but had met very few growing up in Yrethra. On the other hand, I became more and more proud of my hillbilly white trash exposure/existence so much so that I would look at this "NorCal" and "SoCal" people with quite a lot of disdain, often humming a few bars of my dad's song, "Hey Hey, They're Up From L.A."

Hey, Hey,
They're up from L.A.
To seal off our woods
And to ruin our day
Singing Hey, Hey,
They're a bunch of damn fakes
It's the garden of Eden and they are the snakes

Their children are rotten
They disobey rules
And they're sending them up
Just to fill up our schools
They've got strange diseases
And new kinds of bugs
And they're willing to share them
Right along with their drugs!
Singing Hey Hey
They're a bunch of damn fakes
It's the garden of Eden and they...are...the...sssssssssssnakes!

When I was a kid and listened to people's cheers in Yreka when they heard this song I always thought I was in on an ironic joke because my dad was really making fun of the people cheering in disgust and hatred for Southern California people who movie way way up to Northern California and Oregon.

When I got to college I became one of those small town people who hate the L.A. transplants trying to change the way things are done up north. So sorry, to my SoCal and "NorCal"(bay area) friends who I looked down upon whenever you would open your mouths. Sorry about that.

Anyway, why was I talking about this? Oh yeah, because some of these SoCal people are the ones I remember being surprised when I would telling them that most of the friends I had in high school and many many of my teachers took the stories in the bible quite literally. I always like to tell the story about my Senior AP English teacher who explained one day, when we were discussing issues of incest in works like Oedipus Rex versus Antigone, that there was a time when incest was not as taboo as it is now. "After all," she explained with the seasoned air of authority that only a high school teacher can pull off, "There must have been a lot of incest at some point since we all came from Adam and Eve." Aside from me and two other students in the class, Peter Bendix and Trish Kimbell (to their credit) not one other student, of the smartest kids our town had to offer, took any exception to this statement. It was a fact to probably 75% of the student body at my high school.

So I was just wondering, the people who read this, did you ever have a time in your life when this was a surprising notion? Or, like me, was the surprising notion that there were people in the world who didn't believe in this ridiculous notion of the earth actually being created in 7 literal days?

Oh and also, you can talk about the Elizabeth Edwards thing if you feel so inclined. I don't know. I've heard some people say she doesn't have very much time to live and others saying she had 5-10 years. If it was five to ten I would say, of course, campaign with Edwards. He is great. If he wins the primaries I will be happy with him as a candidate and will happily vote for him. If it is more like a year or something, I don't know. Her kids are very young. She won't regret it because she'll be dead but her kids might be a little bit bummed out that they didn't get to spend as much time with her as they could have especially since their dad, if he becomes president, will not be able to spend much time with them either. I'm going to see if that clip is up on youtube yet.

Spaces:A Poll

Dear Gentle Readers,

I have some troubling information to report. This might not be new to you all but It is the first I've ever heard of it. I read in the November 2006 issue of The Atlantic (the central perk of hospital job is the endless supply of magazines I would normally never pick up) that the standard of publishing whether in print or on the web is to have just one space after a sentence. "This wasn't always the case." Well, that made me feel better, since I've always put two spaces after my sentences, but then I read on. "You can find extra space between sentences in books from as late as the 1960s." Since the 1960s? Really? Why, if it has been the professional standard since the 1960s, was I taught to always put two spaces at the end of a sentence? Am I the only one? Granted, my typing class was taken my freshmen year of high school (which is now 14 years ago!) and was taught by a football coach but... How come I never knew this? I think it would be exceedingly difficult to try to break this habit. Maybe that's why I could never bring my WPM past 80 even though I think I type really really fast. Maybe those faster typers are just cheating by only putting one space after their sentences. This would slow me down at first, as I have been accustomed to the two spaces. But soon I would get used to it and like a flash I would be typing. Like a flash. It might put me up to 81 or 82 words a minute. Maybe. You never know. It makes me look back at this typing test I took at a temp agency a few years back. The lady said, make sure you only put one space at the end of your sentences, the test will be scored incorrectly if you don't. I was very upset by this. Why build a typing test that tests people all wrong? Turns out, I was the one in the wrong. On the other hand, think of all the papers I've written that were shorter than my peers simply because I added a space where they only had one. Ha Ha! Losers!

Well, I'm Off to the Robot Parts Factory.

Every day when my nephew is over and I leave for work I tell him, "Well, I'm off to the robot parts factory!" And sometimes he asks, "Why don't you ever bring me home a robot from your factory?" He used to ask that, at least. But not anymore because I always reply, "Because we only make the robot parts. Not the actual robots."

Sometimes I like to go read the McSweeney's "Lists" because sometimes they are funny. Every time I read them I feel a little disappointed because none are as good as this one about robots. So I go back and read the robot one every time. And I laugh. Every time. Here it is for you.

JokesMade by Robots,for Robots.
BY J. ALEX BOYD
- - - -
A rabbi, an Arab, a robot, and a Catholic priest walk into a bar. Only the robot exits.

A robot walks into a pharmacy. The pharmacist asks him if he'd like anything. The robot replies, "A soul."

How do you stop a robot from destroying you and the rest of civilization?You don't.
"Waiter! Waiter! What's this robot doing in my soup?""It looks like he's performing human tasks twice as well, because he knows no fear or pain."

Knock knock.Who's there?A robot.Oh, shit.

What's the difference between a regular robot and a killer robot?The gnawing jeers of men.

What's a robot's favorite cereal?Rob-os.(Note: Rob-os are made of the tears of human children.)

Little Susie tosses a clock out the window. A robot inquires, "Why did you do that?" She replies, "I wanted to see time fly!" The robot says, "Ah ... A perfect subject for elimination," and shoots her with a laser beam through the face.

Why did the robot order a milkshake?To blend in with the general human population, making it easier to infiltrate society and—in time—conquer it.

Why was six afraid of seven?Because seven was a robot.

Great Great Great Robot Jokes.

One time I took little Jack to my actual job at the hospital. I took him to use the bathroom which has this very handy dandy automatic air freshener thing on the wall. It sprayed air freshener while we were in the bathroom and he was very fascinated by this. Later, he was trying to explain it to his dad. He said that we should get one of those things that sprays smells. And I said, "What the hell are you talking about?" or something like that. And he said, "You know, like in the bathroom at the Robot Parts Factory." Ah, yes, of course.

The Pond

I don't know anyone in England, do I?

Not really guilty at all pleasures

I posted this comment on my (least)favorite movie critic's blog today in response to this query:

"Hey Mick and commenters, Here's my question: Do you have a guilty pleasure? A movie that may be cheesy, sentimental, or just plain bad, but you like in spite of yourself. A movie you're embarrassed to admit you like. (And I think this is different from a flawed movie, a movie that has good parts, but gets off track or has a dumb ended tacked on.)"

I thought I would share it with my gentle readers.

Top Ten Guilty Amanda Pants Pleasures.

10. The Notebook - not really a bad movie, but it surely does not warrant the dozen or so times I've watched it.

9. Popeye - Only a GUILTY pleasure because so many people hated it. It is the greatest!

8. Swing Kids - Nazis, swing dancing, Christian Bale swing dancing AND being a Nazi. Golden.

7.Freddy Got Fingered-Underappreciated!

6. Pump up the Volume - Ridiculous. My favorite movie when I was 13 or 14.

5.Primal Fear - A longer glorified version of a Law and Order episode but Edward Norton blows my socks off every time I see it. Plus Laura Linney makes me laugh.

4. Jackass: The Movie(and number 2)- Like America's Funniest Home Videos only funny.

3. Drop Dead Fred - I love breaky noises. Pheobe Cates has some truly funny moments. I miss her.

2. The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai-very quotable campy cult classic. Watch it with friends. Or alone.

1. Newsies!!!!!!! Christian Bale? Bill Pullman? Vinnie Delpino from Doogie Howser? How can you go wrong? Young boys, singing and dancing? Heaven!

Runners up:
Gummo
The Parent Trap (1961)
Several movies starring Brendan Fraser. Maybe all of his movies.

Additionally,
I hate finals. I hate finals! I hate the spanish language. I hate interoffice romances gone bad when I have to get a constant earful of self-pity. I hate the extreme juice place in the mall (not the one near fred meyers, just the one in the mall).
I love packing and organizing and reorganizing.
Today I went through pictures. A job that could have taken about an hour or two took 4 because it is so hard not to look at each photograph and remember all the good times. Remember all the good times? You know what else I did? You know how you have all those CD cases? Well, if you are like me, you have your CDs either all ripped or burned or whatever the kids say these days, onto your computer. Or you have all of them in those cases that hold all those CDs. I have three of those all filled up. So what do you all do with the plastic cases? Did you throw them all away years ago? Do you still have them and all your CDs in them? I had mine in a box. The box was so nice that I thought it was a shame to just have empty CD cases in it but when I started to think about throwing them out I realized that some of the best album art and pictures and stuff are on the backs of the CD cases. You know those little liners that are crammed underneath the plastic? So I spend, I'm not kidding, like an hour and a half tearing apart each of the plastic cases and pulling out the little liners and then throwing the plastic parts away. I have a few ideas as to what I'm going to do with the liners. Artistic ideas. Interesting Ideas. Some of them are really cool and way better than the actual covers. A common theme is showing the back of the artist. Like the cover has their face or faces and then the back shows the back of their head or something. Also common are candid shots. Some of them are just so great and I'm glad I didn't throw them all away.

When you're down and out, and you need a helping hand, and nothing.. no nothing blah blah blah blah

Jesus, I really hate James Taylor. Not the person. I actually think the going nuts and the becoming all googly-eyed and weird is interesting. I just really can't stand some of his songs, is all.

But speaking of songs, as of late I have been sort of down in the dumps, you might say. You don't say! Yes, down in the dumps. However, I have been listening to the soundtrack to the musical Assassins (which is grrrrreat, by the way. Sondheim, you know. Can't go wrong, tut tut). It is a musical about different people who either assassinated or attempted to assassinate presidents. One of the assassinators is the guy who killed Garfield. Charles J. Guiteau. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_J._Guiteau

The song lyrics are here for you:
[GUITEAU]I am going to the Lordy,I am so glad.I am going to the Lordy, I am so glad.I am going to the Lordy,Glory Hallelujah!Glory Hallelujah!I am going to the Lordy...
[BALLADEER]Come all ye Christians,And hear from sinner:Charlie Guiteau.Bound and determinedHe'd wind up a winner,Charlie had dreams That he wouldn't let go.Said, "Nothing to it,I want it, I'll do it,I'm Charles J. Guiteau."Charlie Guiteau Never said "Never"Or heard the word "No."Faced with disaster, His heart would beat faster,His smile would just grow,And he'd say:
[GUITEAU]Look on the bright side,Look on the bright side,Sit on the right side Of the lord.This is the land of Opportunity,He is your lightning,You his sword.Wait till you see tomorrow,Tomorrow you'll get you reward!You can be sad Or you can be President-Look on the bright side...I am going to the Lordy...
[BALLADEER]Charlie Guiteau Drew a crowd to his trial,Led them in prayer,Said, "I killed Garfield,I'll make no denial.I was just acting for someone up there.The Lord's my employer,And now He's my lawyer,So do what you dare."Charlie said, "Hell,If I am guilty,Then God is as well."But God was aquitted And Charlie committed Until he should hang.Still, he sang:
[GUITEAU]Look on the bright side,Not on the black side.Get off your backside,Shine those shoes!This is you golden Opportunity:You are the lightning And you're news!Wait till you see tomorrow,Tomorrow you won't be ignored!You could be pardoned,You could be President-Look on the bright side...I am going to the Lordy...
[BALLADEER]Charlie Guiteau Had a crowd at the scaffold-
[GUITEAU]I am so glad...
[BALLADEER]-Filled up the square,Som many people That tickets were raffled.Shine on his shoes Charlie mounted the stair,Said, "Never sorrow,Just wait till tomorrow,Today isn't fair.Don't despair..."
[GUITEAU]Look on the bright side,Look on the bright side,Sit on the right side...Of the...I am going to the Lordy, I am so glad!I am going to the Lordy,I am so glad!I have unified my party, I have saved my country.I shall be remembered!I am going to the Lordy...
[BALLADEER]Look on the bright side,Not on the sad side,Inside the bad side Something's good!This is you golden Opportunity:You've been a preacher-
[GUITEAU]Yes, I have!
[BALLADEER]You've been an author-
[GUITEAU]Yes, I have!
[BALLADEER]You've been a killer-
[GUITEAU]Yes, I have!
[BALLADEER]You could be an angel_
[GUITEAU]Yes, I could!
[BALLADEER]Just wait until tomorrow,Tomorrow they'll all climb aboard!What if you never Got to be President?You'll be remembered-Look on the bright side-Trust in tomorrow-
[BOTH]And the Lord!

Now, I know you probably won't read all that but this song is so great! And this guy who killed the president actually recited the part about "I am going to the lordy, I am so glad" over and over again while standing in front of the noose. I like this crazy optimism in the face of death. What a great assassin!

Fuck You, I'm Irish.

Happy St. Padraig's day. Here is a song I wrote for the occasion. I actually wrote it last year but what's the diff?

On St. Patrick's Day
There are thrilling Pilgrim stories
How the Indians
Helped that first St. Patrick's Day

How I love it so
Eating pumpkin pie and turkey
Let us all give thanks
On this bright St. Patrick's Day

Bright St. Patrick's, Bright St. Patrick's, Bright St. Patrick's Daaaaaay!
Bright St. Patrick's, Bright St. Patrick's, Bright St. Patrick's Daaaaaay!

I really got an actual apartment for reals. For reals reals. Did I write this yesterday? Oh yeah, I did. I'm pretty relieved. Especially since I have all sorts of new invigorating life plans that I might decide to write about here or I might not because it sort of stings to look back at things you wrote about that you wanted to do and that you never did for whatever reason whereas if you never commit such idle thoughts to paper, or whatever this is, then you can always deny them later. But I'm thinking I have some good ideas for my future since it probably won't involve any sort of moving away to another area or going to school somewhere else. I've gotten turned down so far at 3 out of the 4 schools I applied to for grad school. I never thought my chances were that great but it still sucks to have done all the work and paid all the money and jumped through all the hoops for nothing. Not for nothing, if I actually do the things that I've come up for my alternate plan. You see, if you have a goal that you might not reach, sometimes you come up with an alternate plan that is better. But if you have no goal in the first place then you don't think in terms of aternate plans, you see? So you just think, what am I going to do tomorrow? Or next week. Or what's on t.v. right now. Or whatever.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, losers!

Babies, Baby.

My newest nephew was born and he was also given a name! Asher Andrusha Adams. His nickname will most likely be Ash. (hole) Or (Dumb)Ash. I will be his favorite aunt and I will also be his least favorite aunt. I will be his only aunt.

I didn't get the tiki apartment which got me down. It got me way down. It got me all downs in the dumps like down syndrome. I was low down. I had the knife to my throat and was crafting my noose, which I think should be spelled Knoose, when suddenly, all of a sudden, I decided that life was worth living and that maybe I would still be able to find an apartment. I did. I can't move in until 4/1 but it is for sure my apartment for double sure. And it is sort of strange. It is in the basement of a "healing arts" clinic. Healing Arts are apparently things like chiropractics and stuff. So I will be hearing the moans and groans of healing above me during the day. It is a very small studio but it has a lot of light and windows, especially considering it is in the basement. I have access to a washer and dryer which are free and it is very conveniently located across the street from the college campus and just a few blocks from my grandmothers house and also just a few blocks north of one cool movie theater and a few blocks south of another movie theater. Remember when I lived in Arcata on 10th St. in the middle of everything? That's kind of how this is only even more awesome, if you can imagine it. If you can. For instance, this fourth of july, when I want to go watch the parade, I just walk out my door and down the street a little ways and then I watch the parade. Talk about your lucky ducks. it is also just about 1/2 mile from Safeway and about 15 other very convenient type of places for my convenience. I am a lucky happy girl and nothing can bring me down.

There were other things I was going to discuss. World Politics and Issues. I don't remember. I should really write these things down so that later I can write them down here.

Hammertime!

3/11 Births

[edit] Births
1544 - Torquato Tasso, Italian poet (d. 1595)
1725 - Henry Benedict Stuart, pretender to the throne of Great Britain (d. 1807)
1785 - John McLean, U.S. Supreme Court Justice (d. 1861)
1787 - Ivan Nabokov, Russian general (d. 1852)
1811 - Urbain Le Verrier, French mathematician (d. 1877)
1818 - Marius Petipa, French ballet dancer and choreographer (d. 1910)
1822 - Joseph Louis François Bertrand, French mathematician (d. 1900)
1863 - Andrew Stoddart, English cricketer (d. 1915)
1873 - David Horsley, English-born film executive (d. 1933)
1876 - Carl Ruggles, American composer (d. 1971)
1870 - Louis Bachelier, French mathematician (d. 1946)
1880 - Harry H. Laughlin, American eugenecist (d. 1943)
1885 - Malcolm Campbell, English race car driver (d. 1948)
1887 - Raoul Walsh, American film director (d. 1980)
1890 - Vannevar Bush, American engineer and politician (d. 1974)
1898 - Dorothy Gish, American actress (d. 1968)
1899 - Frederick IX of Denmark, Danish King (d. 1972)
1903 - Lawrence Welk, American musician (d. 1992)
1903 - Ronald Syme, New Zealand classicist and historian (d. 1989)
1910 - Robert Havemann, German chemist (d. 1982)
1915 - Hans Peter Keller, German writer (d. 1988)
1915 - Vijay Hazare, Indian cricketer (d. 2004)
1915 - JCR Licklider, computer scientist and internet pioneer (d.1990)
1916 - Harold Wilson, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom (d. 1995)
1920 - Nicolaas Bloembergen, Dutch physicist, Nobel laureate
1921 - Frank Harary, American mathematician (d. 2005)
1921 - Ástor Piazzolla, Argentine composer (d. 1992)
1922 - Cornelius Castoriadis, Greek philosopher and economist (d. 1997)
1922 - José Luis López Vázquez, Spanish actor
1926 - Reverend Ralph Abernathy, American civil rights leader (d. 1990)
1927 - Robert Mosbacher, United States Secretary of Commerce
1928 - Albert Salmi, American actor (d. 1990)
1929 - Timothy Carey, American actor (d. 1994)
1930 - Claude Jutra, Quebec film actor and director (d. 1986)
1931 - Rupert Murdoch, Australian-born entrepreneur
1934 - Sam Donaldson, American reporter
1935 - Sandra Milo, Italian actress
1936 - Antonin Scalia, American Supreme Court Justice
1939 - Flaco Jiménez, American musician
1945 - Harvey Mandel, American musician
1947 - Tristan Murail, French composer
1948 - César Gerónimo, Dominican baseball player
1948 - Dominique Sanda, French actress
1950 - Bobby McFerrin, American singer
1950 - Jerry Zucker, American director
1952 - Douglas Adams, English writer (d. 2001)
1954 - Gale Norton, United States Secretary of the Interior
1955 - Nina Hagen, German singer
1956 - Rob Paulsen, American voice actor
1957 - Lady Chablis, American entertainer
1958 - Anissa Jones, American actress (d. 1976)
1958 - Flemming Rose, Danish journalist
1959 - Nina Hartley, American pornographic actress
1960 - Christophe Gans, French film director
1961 - Elias Koteas, Canadian actor
1963 - Alex Kingston, English actress
1964 - Vinnie Paul, American musician (Pantera)
1964 - Shane Richie, British actor
1964 - Peter Berg, American film actor, director and producer
1965 - Lawrence Llewelyn-Bowen, British television presenter
1967 - John Barrowman, Scottish-American actor
1968 - Lisa Loeb, American singer
1969 - Terrence Howard, American actor
1969 - Soraya, Colombian-American singer (d. 2006)
1971 - Johnny Knoxville, American television personality
1971 - Martin Ručinský, Czech ice hockey player
1974 - Bobby Abreu, Venezuelan baseball player
1975 - Eric the Midget, American radio personality
1976 - Thomas Gravesen, Danish footballer
1978 - Didier Drogba, Ivory Coast footballer
1978 - Albert Luque, Spanish footballer
1978 - Christopher Rice, American author
1979 - Benji Madden, American musician (Good Charlotte)
1979 - Joel Madden, American musician (Good Charlotte)
1979 - Elton Brand, American basketball player
1979 - Fred Jones, American basketball player
1980 - Paul Scharner, Austrian footballer
1981 - David Anders, American actor
1981 - Heidi Cortez, American erotic broadcaster
1981 - Lee Evans, American football player
1981 - Russell Lissack, English musician (Bloc Party)
1981 - LeToya Luckett, American singer (ex-Destiny's Child)
1982 - Thora Birch, American actress
1984 - Marc-André Grondin, French Canadian actor
1985 - Nikolai Topor-Stanley, Australian soccer player
1987 - Marc-Andre Gragnani, Canadian ice hockey player
1989 - Anton Yelchin, Russian-born actor
1990 - Reiley McClendon, American actor
2007- Baby Boy Adams (Ansel Acidopholus Aort Adams)

Hoax

I'm not who I say I am.

So I think I might have an apartment. Fingers Crossed! Knock on Socks! Hop on Pop! Jesus Mocks! He is Franz Kafka, Franz Kafka. Have you ever watched Home Movies? It was a cartoon show for 'Dults and I think it was on in the late nineties or the early ots. I had caught a few episode on the tube some years back and then I decided to get all the episodes of all the seasons on DVD through the Netflix. It is great.

Tiki Apartments. That's the place. The party place. The Bacherlorette Pad for the swinging kind of 90s gal that I am. And there is an actual Tiki Totem thing type of thingy as you walk in the front gate of the place. Awesome. I think it might be cursed though.

The reason I'm posting something now is because I am avoiding doing actual work. Actual work work, like for my job, a-which I am currently getting paid for "working" at right now. Also, in addition to actual work, I am avoiding school work which is the work I do when I am at work and it is supremely slow. It is supremely slow but I have one thing I should get done right now and am avoiding doing because I am lazy, shiftless, and godless. And i have no God. See how I didn't capitalize "i" but I did "God. That is because I revere the lord.

Two things I recommend:

zap reader and spreeder. I don't feel like linking them. Google them your goddamn selves. Anywhoo, alls you have to do is paste some text you want to read rill rill fast and these sites sort of help you in that endeavor. It is really really helping me get through the last section of Uncle Tom's Cabin. This is a good book. But it is long and wordy and filled with a lot of Christ talk. Jebus this and Jebus that, and the lord spaketh Let my people go. Etcetera. And alls I can do is think in my head all the time, a la The King and I, "Run Eliza, Run! Poooooor Eliza!" Turns out, the King and I version of the small house of Uncle Tom is a horrible retelling of the original. It is filled with misinformation. So don't watch it and then think you can write a paper about Uncle Tom's Cabin. Read the Cliff's Notes instead, dummy.

I also recommend other things. Buying me a couch. Or a loooooveseat. Although I don't think of you like that. Maybe if I was drunk or you were rich.

How about a little fuck music?

What the F?

Someone registered my page under humor in Stumbleupon a while back. I'm thinking maybe that's why I'm suddenly getting a lot of traffic? My average traffic per day is like 8-10 hits. I've gotten 46 today. That is more than ever before ever. What the F?

It is like a Sauna in this bathroom. And where's the toilet?

If you read this, and you are reading this now, and you are an inquisitive type of person, you might be wondering, or you might have been wondering as lately as a few minutes ago, what I have been up to. No good. I have been up to, and including, no good.

The truth is, the cold, hard truth is, I've been apartment hunting! "How goes the apartment hunt?" you may now being asking. Good question. No good. It has been no good.

Actually things are looking decidedly better as of today. As of just about an hour ago, actually. I made an appointment to look at quite an adorable and cheap place in downtown medford and I happened upon an ad for a very very cute studio apartment in Ashland that I want very very badly and am going to be calling about as soon as I finish this.

I talked to one person the other day while I was on campus in ashland and she described a studio she is renting that is a converted garage attached to her own home. The ad described it as a studio apartment with great views and a private sauna. Very strange, I thought. And it got stranger. She said that the small kitchen, a kitchenette, had a crock pot, two hot plates, a convection oven and that the shower and toilet were sort of in the kitchen. And then a whole separate room was attached for the private sauna. Is it just me or would the average renter prefer having that room made into a bathroom so that you didn't have to pee and shower next to your refrigerator? Maybe it is just me. The whole story is longer but I don't feel like going into it all here. Needless to say, I will not be renting this apartment. Anyway. This whole thing is sort of weird because I don't even know if I'll be living here in 6months of I get into grad school but I really honestly think the chances of that are very very low. So I figured I'll either live somewhere for 6months and be happy to move because it means I got into grad school, or I'll be happy that I moved out because I wanted to move out anyway. Anywho, I kind of like moving and setting up a new place and stuff so all is not lost.

Anybody need my opinion on anything? I feel like I haven't been able to be opinionated and righteous and judgemental enough lately. Maybe I am getting older. I am letting my gray hair grow out. I have a few nice big streaks making their way here and there across my head. I've decided not to cut or dye my hair until it is long enough for a decent length of my natural hair color, which I've not seen in about 10 years. I think it will make me look more mature and that people will take me more seriously. I think it will definitely help when looking for an apartment.

This was really boring. Sorry.

The problem with the internets is...And Important Aspects of Life in the Modern World Part 2

The problem with the internets is that beauty is the eye of the beholder. Or, instead, I have to actively look for stuff to look at. I can't just passively wait for something to appear in front of my eyes that I find interesting. Unless I use stumbler but has anyone noticed that there is a lot of repetition? I find that stumbler keeps throwing up the same sites for me to look at over and over again. With a practically infinite number of things on the internets I find this statistically abnormal. I want to rely on other people to find good things for me to look at and read every day but the others are not following up on their end of my one sided selfish deal. What is up with that, yo?

That being said, today I wasted almost 2 solid hours reading recaps of television programs on Television Without Pity. I have linked to this page on my side bar to your left. And my left, as it happens. I read the last couple Studio 60 recaps so that I can be told why this show sucks even though I enjoy it (while knowing that it sucks). I also like to read the american idol recaps. Today I read recaps of My So Called Life which was one of those adolescent things that I've never let go of because it was so fantastic and I was so crazy. So who am I kidding? Do I really need more things to look at so that I can waste more time? That depends on what you think of as a waste of time. Maybe in the long run, not in the eternal sense of the long run of course, but in the next 10 - 20 years, maybe I will be better off having extensive contemporary culture knowledge (my new term of choice rather than pop culture). I remember when I was young and was obsessed with Jeopardy and watched it every single day with my parents and sometimes with my older siblings. I was always frustrated at my parents knowledge of past events. They paid attention to stuff when they were young. They read magazines and newspapers and watched tv. My mom always read trashy magazines and my dad made fun of her. But guess who got all the entertainment and arts questions right all the time? My mom. Sure, it would have been nice if they'd have been able to answer any of the sciency/mathy questions but I was angry that they new all this history by virtue only of them having been alive. It wasn't fair. It often led to explanations, however, so I learned a lot playing jeopardy with my parents. They would tell me stories about trivial things that happened when they were kids, reminded of them by trivia questions.

To sum up, as I could go on for days about jeopardy and my childhood, knowing what is happening now, whether it is Brittney shaving her head or the president deciding that he can actually read all of our mail with his particular interpretation of the constitution, knowing these things is preemtively knowing history. And that is what I will tell all the stupid people who I hate who say they don't read newspapers or watch tv or pay attention to popular culture because it is "all bad news" or they like to "make up my own mind about issues." This very smart girl in one of my classes admitted proudly today that she likes to live in a bubble and never watches t.v., never reads newspapers, never listens to the radio. Screw her. Someday her kids will say, "mommy, what was life like when you were a girl?" and she'll say, "sorry dear, I was in a bubble. But the bubble was very shiny and pretty and colorful!"

There was a murder/suicide in Yreka the other day. I spent a couple days not knowing if I knew the dead people because their names were not being released but I did know that they were around my age, the woman being in her late 20s and the man in his early thirties. The man shot the woman in their house, with their children at home, then called 911, then drove under a nearbye overpass and shot himself in his car. Turns out I don't know them. So that's kind of good, I guess.

Also, fuck the beatles. I'm finally sick of them.

THE TEASER teaser trailer

Wahoo!

Important Aspects of Life in the Modern World- Part 1.

Did I tell you that I've been downloading the sarah silverman show to watch? Yeah, well, I have. And I keep forgetting to watch it. I watched the first episode and found it amusing.

And regarding Charlie Rose, I've been searching in vain for gossip about his sexual inappropriateness. Maybe Sara can help me out here. Or maybe she can just SHUT UP! I don't know why I want to know. I'm just interested. I guess it is like when anyone is interested in celebrity lives only Charlie Rose is probably not considered a celebrity to most.

I have things to say. What were they? Ah Yes, Music and Lyrics was actually pretty good. I think my brother-in-law Alex would love it. Just kidding.

In additionally, I wish myspace would just die. First, I hate it. Second I hate that I can't stop looking at it. 3rd, I can't check my message box for some reason and I have messages that I can't read! A#4, Why is Marigold friends with my old humboldt friend Zach? Why? I don't get it. And that is why I've decided to set up a site called fuckyourfacebookspace. At all it will be is people setting up profiles and making friends and connections and commenting on each other's profiles and sending messages to each other, and maybe some bands could put up their music and stuff. But it will be way better than myspace. It will be like myspace 2.0. Speaking of 2.0, my sister's child 2.0 will be launching next month and we still don't have a name, that I know of at least. So here's the deal. Leave a comment with a name suggestion and I'll sign you up for fuckyouspace for free. Oh, that's the other thing. fuckyourfacebookspace costs money to join. That is one reason why it is better than myspace. All names must start with the letter A. Or any of the following letters, that is, those that follow A. But preference will be given to names that start with the letter A. And no names like asshole, assholes. This is for real. This kids whole future could ride on this. Oh, and it is a boy. So anything goes, really. Hoy en dia.

Happy Belated Birthday, Steve!!! Now go crawl under a rock.

Loudy Loud Blond Lady, Shut UP!

I am sitting near a loudy loud blond lady who won't shut up.

So I've been feeling really crappy lately about the fact that I haven't had time to do the things that I like to do most. Like go to the movies. So I decided to go see a movie. And I got here just in time to check my email and get a cup of coffee and then see Pan's Labyrinth, which I really want to see. Also playing, 20 minutes later, is that Hugh Grant Drew Barrymore Claptrap that I can tell I'll really really love out of shame and self loathing. So instead of seeing the really good movie that is nominated for all sorts of awards, I decide to read blogs for 30 minutes, waste time on myspace, and then go see the Hugh Grant Drew Barrymore claptrap. And then I think to myself, this is what I wanted to do in the first place. Secretly. So sue me. I love romantic comedies. I love teen movies. I love seeing these in the theater. I like seeing the stupid movies in the theater that most people say they'll see once they go to DVD. I like to see artsy films at home on DVD. That is just the way it is. Also, I want to do a play again. I'm over my burnt out phase. I've been having nightmares again. Maybe this summer.

Also, I decided I'm not going to move out at the end of this month. My brother has been driving me crazy. Our stove is now a very large hotplate, as the oven and three burners no longer work. The toilet has been broken for like a year and is gerryrigged for minimal functioning. And now the sprayer in the sink is the only thing that water will come out of. HOWEVER, despite all of this and despite the fact that I am starting to hate my brother, I have decided to wait until I find out if I am accepted anywhere before I move out. If I am accepted somewhere then I'll wait until the end of the summer to move out. If not, I'll move out as soon as I know I didn't get in anywhere. Problem solved. For the time being. Never live with your siblings. NEVER! Don't do it. Even if they have cute children and dogs. Especially if they have cute children and dogs because then you'll never want to leave because your guilt might ruin you.

How long?

How long before we just starting calling it Vagilentines Day? How long??? Not long at all, as it turns out.

Today there was a march on Washington via the plaza in Ashland. The students are angry. And they are like, totally, like mad and stuff and they are totally not going to take it anymore, ya'll. Budget Crisis. Boring.

Oh, and as it turns out, I WAS punished for my hubris. That's why I have diabetes. God told me last night in my dreams. It all makes sense now.

Happy Vagina cleaning day! Here, you can borrow my Brillo pad. Really get in there. In the crevices. Oh, watch out! You missed a spot. The G-spot. Easy to miss, really. Not your fault.

Podcasts

If I was a crazy person, I would just memorize the current year and the current president and then go about my business. No one seems to ever need to know more than that.

I recommend, if you are inclined, getting NPR and IPR podcasts like This American Life and Fresh Air. I feel so free that I am able to listen to these things any time I want.

I think I could live in my car for quite a while. The hospital where I work has a shower. But where to park? Do you park in the same place every night? Or do you drive around and find 4 or 5 places to rotate too and from?

I had interesting dreams last night.

I would park near the hospital I think. But then ambulances might wake me up. That would be annoying. And do you just have to have battery powered everything? Alarm Clock, etc. I would try to find and steal travel sized things like you find in motels.

I have never had a garbage disposal. I wouldn't miss that.

P.S. Do you like my new picture? I do.

P.P.S I almost forgot!!! The other night Charlie Rose had Ted Kennedy on his program. I think I've mentioned before that I love the Charlie Rose Program and that I love Charlie Rose. If you've never seen his show before you really need to. It is on PBS. Here it plays at 11pm and 11:30am every day except saturday and sunday. But anywho, Ted Kennedy said something to the effect of "The Budget is a moral document that shows what the nation's priorities are." Or something like that. That isn't an exact quote but it is very close. I just thought this was a great quote and I think he might have gotten it from somewhere else. But I don't know.

Bored, at work

Bored, at work, I've been goooogling. I decided to look up my hometown in wikipedia which led me to the City Chamber of Commerce's website, which in turn led me to some "attractions" that the Chamber of Commerce are advertising, which led me to this.

"YREKA & ALL OF SISKIYOU COUNTY IS BIKER FRIENDLY
The uncrowded roads of Siskiyou County offer motorcyclists incredible riding experiences. The vast open roads that crisscross California's northern most central county, geographically the fifth largest county in the state, are lightly traveled and provide breathtaking scenery at nearly every turn.
Yreka, [you pronounce the "Y"] the seat of Siskiyou County, is located adjacent to Interstate 5 at the northern end of the majestic Shasta Valley just twenty-two miles south of the Oregon border. Being the largest city in the county, with a mere 7,290 population, Yreka offers travelers the most inclusive list of services throughout Siskiyou County. Motorcyclists visiting this rural historic community will quickly discover that Yreka businesses, like the roads, are "biker friendly".
Bikers can expect roads that course along wild and scenic rivers and historical county byways that pass along open miles and miles of outstanding rural scenery. You'll go through historic communities, along old stage routes and even right past the site of the last lynching in California which is just down the road from the scene of the last stagecoach robbery which took place in the Golden State. "

I highlighted the last sentence for emphasis but the blue print is from the original page. When I see blue print on a website I think that this is because there is a link. Not so in this case. I think they just really wanted to point out that Yreka is "Biker Friendly" and that it is the proud home of the "last lynching" in California. Not to mention the "last stagecoach robbery." I am so proud of my hometown. And what they are proud of, I am proud of.

Curse of Tippecanoe and Tyler Toooo.

I was trolling around Wikipedia, looking for random tidbits of presidential trivia in case Alex Trebec calls me up and asks me to try out for Jeopardy again and I came across the page for William Henry Harrison, the guy who only lasted 30 days in the White house before he died of a cold. (What a sissy) Anywho, I came across this very interesting tidbit which I think I had read about many years ago but has become relevant again. Here is the link to the whole article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_of_Tecumseh

In short, "The term Curse of Tippecanoe (also known as the presidential curse, zero-year curse, the twenty-year curse or Tecumseh's curse) is sometimes used to describe the pattern where, from 1840 to 1960, every United States President elected (or reelected) every twentieth year has died in office. The only president to die in office outside of this pattern was Zachary Taylor who was elected in 1848 and died of cholera in 1850, notably a year also ending in zero. The "curse" was "broken" by Ronald Reagan, who was elected in 1980 and survived his presidency, despite having been shot in an assassination attempt 69 days into his presidency. The next president in the line is the current president, George W. Bush, who was elected in 2000."

Isn't that crazy? That's all for now. I just wanted people to be aware. (P.S. I think that Reagan was assassinated and that the guy who took over for him was a stand in they used for him in his Hollywood days.)

P.S.S Listen, folks, I'm not saying you should go out and kill the current president. I'm not saying that at all. Just let the curse take care of things. And if your hand is what the curse decides to use as its agent, well, that is just Indian curse magic at work and not you.

Porn in a Store. Store bought Porn. Corn on the cob. That is to say, Port in a Storm.

So my family had very little to say about my flash in the pan fame yesterday even though I specifically asked them to talk about me some more. I guess they were a little worried about popso who has been in Florida for the past week. Right outside of Orlando. Right outside of This:

Whatever. That jerk is always stealing my thunder. And by "that jerk" I am referring of course to Florida and not to my father. (Although my father is a jerk, I would most likely refer to him as a jagoff or a nancyboy) As far as I know he lived and is back in sunny, natural disaster free California. But seriously, isn't Oregon great? I mean, when was the last time you heard of a natural disaster in Oregon? It has been a while, no? And even when there is a wild fire, chances are that it is far away from where people live. I'm never leaving. Unless I get accepted to school in Washington or New York and then I'm on the first bus out of this shitsville.

Speaking of Shitsville, why did all my friends like Idiocracy so much? I thought it was kind of crappy. There were some funny parts and the beginning felt like things were going to get really funny, but it never really delivered. On the funny. Especially compared to Office Space. My brother and dad didn't like it much either. I read some reviews of it to see if I am the crazy one and generally the reviews said about the same thing. It had some funny parts, and it had the potential to be really funny, but it just wasn't that great. I am disappointed in those who recommended it to me so strongly. But I can see how it would seem like a movie I would love. I did really love the premise. Oh well.

Remember in college when I had a Christian Bale movie marathon? Those were good times. I've been having my own little Christian Bale movie marathon by getting all the movies I'd never seen of his off of Netflix. So far, so good. So good. Most of the movies are crappy but did I mention that they have Christian Bale in them? Recently I watched Equilibrium, All the Little Animals, and Royal Deceit, AKA The Prince of Jutland. All three had these surprisingly incredible casts. Royal Deceit alone has about 500 of the most A-list of English Actors. Gabriel Byrne, Helen Mirren, Brian Cox, Kate Beckinsale, Tom Wilkinson, not to mention Christian Bale. But mostly all three were all crappy.

Lastly, after I made fun of that list on that guy's blog, I got to thinking that now I really want to answer the questions for real. I'm hoping maybe my aunty tuney and some of my blog friends like justin and alicia and marigold and steve and sara and my sister might post their lists here too, for fun. So here is my real list.

Movie-in no particular order Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Bottle Rocket, Velvet Goldmine, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, The Wizard of Oz.

Play-Probably M. Butterfly. Or Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. Or Arcadia. Or Angels in America.
Film Director-Maybe Soderbergh, or Jarmush, or Lynch. Probably Lynch? Wes Anderson? I can't say really.
TV Show -The State. Honorable Mention goes to Stella and Runners up are The Office, Conan O'Brien, The Daily Show, and Newsradio.
TV Movie or Mini-series-Roots, Helter Skelter, or Pride & Prejudice. Or The Secret Garden. Or all that Ken Burns stuff, New York and Baseball and The Civil War.

Playwright-Shaw/Stoppard/Kushner
Album - Court & Spark(Joni Mitchell) or Last Man On Earth (Loudon Wainwright III)
Novel-Cat's Cradle or To Kill a Mockingbird. or Enchantment. Or Catcher in the Rye.
Short Story-Just Before the War with the Eskimos-Salinger, or All in a Summer Day-Bradbury, or Forgiveness-Rebecca Brown.(That last one is so great!)
Novelist-Salinger or Vonnegut or Atwood. Eugenides?
Composer- Bach or Gershwin or Copeland
Classical Piece-Bolero
Opera-Madama Butterfly or Norma
Actor-Christian Bale
Actress-Laura Linney or Kate Winslet or Samantha Morton or Emma Thompson
Dancer-Donald O'Connor or Savion Glover
Beatle-George
Poet-Dickinson or Heaney or Stein
Non-Fiction Book-Guns, Germs, and Steal.
Painting- Paula Rego's The Family
Singer - Joni Mitchell or Cat Stevens or David Bowie. Or Jack Black.
Sculpture - Michael Jackson and Bubbles -Koons
Architectural Structure - The Great Pyramid or Stonehenge or Casa Batllo(anything Gaudi made)
Pope -N/A
Philosopher-Lyotard, does Chomsky count? Marx.
Dixie Chick - Natalie, by far and away.
Marx Brother - N/A

Maybe I hate lists because I can never make up my mind. Or because I don't really like this list. I should make my own list.

The circle of life...continues.

Some guys said this:
Amandapants, I just checked out your website and now I know why you don't like Mick. He looks just like you. Put a wig and a pair of glasses on him and he could star in AMANDAPANTS: THE MOVIE


and then some lady said this:

Oh dear. Amandapants does resemble Mick. In fact, she looks more like him than I do (http://www.myspace.com/dianaaventina


I don't see the resemblance



I've asked my family to weigh in on this controversy. We have a family email list and it is all abuzz with questions and comments. Actually, they are ignoring me and have moved on to other things. I have not.

Mick LaSalle had this to say:

Update: Concerning the Amanda-Mick resemblance, discussed in your comments to yesterday's post: I did have many a night's revel as a randy underclassman, but so far as I recall my revels did not take me to Oregon. So -- even though a public reconciliation with a long-lost daughter would be a cherished thing -- I think this may just be another case of great minds looking alike.

Meta-Meta Blogging

Check this out. Blogging about blogging about blogs about blogs. And also blogging. And Bloggo-blogerific-style. Blog it up!

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/mlasalle/detail?blogid=38&entry_id=13039#readmore

(Mick LaSalle is in love with me)

P.S. Hi to all the sfgate/Mick LaSalle blog readers checking out my little blog! I appreciate your attention because I am an attention starved whore.

Rosy Cheeks, No Warts. Plays games, all sorts.

I wish I had friends and that every Friday night we had game night. We would play scattergories and taboo and pictionary and apples to apples and headbanz. With a Z. Espero que un dia mis amigos y yo juguemos juegos y tengamos un buen tiempo. I am learning the subjunctive tense in Spanish and it agrees with me. I feel like I am finally getting better at speaking. My reading and listening comprehension is way better than my speaking or writing.

Molly Ivins died. That was sad. Sarah Silverman has a new TV show. That's pretty cool. The academy awards are coming up soon. I've applied to two grad schools and have one more to go. So there's that, which is pretty awesome. I really don't think I'm going to get in anywhere and the more time and money and effort I put into it, the more depressed and hopeless I feel regarding any chance I have. I've been trying to come up with a Plan B and the only think that I had really thought about doing is this program at SOU for human resources but now I found out that this program is most likely going to be cut as the school is in this big budget crisis and are getting rid of majors and firing teachers and even laying off tenured professors. So I don't really have a plan B now. No, not much of plan B at all.