Boy Oh Boy

Boy Oh Boy, when you put things it writing and in a medium like this it sure is apparent how little you actually have to say for yourself. Or myself. I find that the things I think to write about are things I've already complained about in previous posts or things that I don't feel comfortable revealing en mass. You know what I'm saying? Work is still tiresome and by turns tedious and stressfull. I did get to see my preggers sister recently and it is weird seeing her with this thing growing from out of her. My nephew asked if the baby could peak out at him. He is impatient. I'm going to take a week off in june after this play is over and visit with my new neice, Armageddon. Armageddon Adams. Adnama Adams. Adrenal Adenoma Adams. Acidosis Adams! Acute Angina Adams. Cutey, for short. I think my favorite now is Amaryllis.

I am looking forward to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy opening this weekend. It has my boyfriend Tim from The Office in it.


He is my favorite pasty funny looking actor.

Rehearsals for Judgement at Nuremburg are going quite well. My german accent is very good according to our dialect coach person. We had a run through of the entire show on tuesday and the Director said it is the first show she can remember being involved in where everyone was off book, had their lines and blocking down, a full 2 weeks before we open. The show opens on 5/11, which seems like a long time from now but is really pretty soon. I feel very confident that this show will go off without a hitch but you never know. One of the actors could up and die. Who knows.

My mother and father are both 60 years old now ask of April 25th and March 15th respectively. That makes me old and my brother and sister even older.

Has anyone been watching that end of days show on nbc? Or am I the only dork who likes that crap? I have always harbored a deep respect and admiration for Bill Pullman so I could hardly not watch it. What a man. I like the guy who plays the evil demon guy in jail. He is like the Poor Man's Willem Defoe. Fantastic.

What video game should I buy? I need a new one so bad. So Bad!!!!!

Oh, and Christian Bale had a baby with some broad. Congratulations, Christian Bale.

Remember how I what I was saying about how I wanted to go back to college?

This song is from Avenue Q. It is a musical about 20-something post college puppets and how hard and meaningless their life is. And Gary Coleman is in it. Actually, a black woman playing gary coleman as the superintendent of the building they all live in on avenue q. It is very funny.
KATE MONSTER:
I wish I could go back to college.
Life was so simple back then.

NICKY:
What would I give to go back and live in a dorm with a meal plan again!

PRINCETON:
I wish I could go back to college.
In college you know who you are.
You sit in the quad, and think, "Oh my God!
I am totally gonna go far!"

ALL:
How do I go back to college?
I don't know who I am anymore!

PRINCETON:
I wanna go back to my room and find a message in dry-erase pen on the door!
Ohhh...
I wish I could just drop a class...

NICKY:
Or get into a play...

KATE MONSTER:
Or change my major...

PRINCETON:
Or fuck my T.A.

ALL:
I need an academic advisor to point the way!
We could be...
Sitting in the computer lab,
4 A.M. before the final paper is due,
Cursing the world 'cause I didn't start sooner,
And seeing the rest of the class there, too!

PRINCETON:
I wish I could go back to college!

ALL:
How do I go back to college?!
AHHHH...

PRINCETON:
I wish I had taken more pictures.

NICKY:
But if I were to go back to college,
Think what a loser I'd be-
I'd walk through the quad,
And think "Oh my God..."

ALL:
"These kids are so much younger than me."


yes, it is a good show.

A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

I've been watching Willy Wonka a lot lately. My nephew likes it. He can't say Willy Wonka though, too many L's. He calls it charley bucket movie. Which is as good a name as any. Anywho, I have just been amazed at how many great lines there are in that movie. It is just so well written. If you haven't seen it recently, or god forbid at all (shudder), go out and get it. I happen to own it, so I can watch it whenever the mood strikes me. I am very much looking forward to the johnny depathon willy wonkathon movie coming out soon but I know that it will probably not be what I expect. It may be better or worse than I expect, but not what I expect. I can't wait. The suspense is terrible, I hope it lasts.
This is a picture of me in my new play, Judgement at Nuremberg. You may notice a striking resemblance to judy garland, but that is done with makeup.


Good acting, huh. I was really stressed about this play yesterday. Actually, for about a week I've been thinking about not doing it at all because I was worried that I wasn't going to be able to do what the director wanted me to do. I thought she wanted me to get all blubbery and emotional and It is really hard to do that 5 times a week for 5 weeks straight. Last night I had my 2nd rehearsal and apparently I am doing just fine. So I feel much better. It is very hard for me to read this director. I can't tell if I am headed in the right direction half the time and she is all for letting you make your own choices which is great but you still need feedback. I got good feedback finally. My other play is still going. The audiences have been bigger and I have been getting applause at the end of all my scenes and monologues which is always nice.

I've compiled some of my favorite willy wonka lines here on my blogometer. Enjoy!

Willy Wonka: Oh, well then you know all about it and what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A Wangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, "Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the Wangdoodles and Hornswogglers and Snozzwangers and rotten Vermicious Knids."
Mr. Salt: Snozzwangers? Vermicious Knids? What kind of rubbish is that?
Willy Wonka :I'm sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing. And so, in the greatest of secrecy I transported the entire population of Oompa Loompas to my factory here.

Willy Wonka: Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple.
Mrs. Teevee: That's 105 percent.

Willy Wonka Little surprises around every corner, but nothing dangerous.

Willy Wonka Oh, you should never, never doubt what nobody is sure about. [Willy Wonka walks down the hall which gets shorter as it goes on in the skewed perspective room]

[Noticing signs on vats] Mr. Salt :Wonka. Butterscotch? Buttergin? You running something on the side here?
Willy Wonka Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

Willy Wonka Where is fancy bred, in the heart or in the head?

Veruca Salt Snozzberry? Who ever heard of a snozzberry?
Willy Wonka [grabs Veruca's chin] We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dreams.

Willy Wonka So shines a good deed in a weary world.

Willy Wonka : A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

Tinker : Up the airy mountain, down the rushing glen, we dare not go a hunting, for fear of little men. You see, nobody ever goes in and nobody ever comes out.

Willy Wonka : No other factory in the world mixes its chocolate by waterfall. But it's the only way if you want it just... right.

Willy Wonka : The suspense is terrible... I hope it lasts.

Willy Wonka : There's no earthly way of knowing / Which direction we are going / There's no knowing where we're rowing / Or which way the river's flowing / Is it raining? / Is it snowing? / Is a hurricane a-blowing? / Not a speck of light is showing / So the danger must be growing / Are the fires of hell a-glowing? / Is the grisly reaper mowing? / Yes, the danger must be growing / 'Cause the rowers keep on rowing / And they're certainly not showing / Any signs that they are slowing.

Willy Wonka: If the good Lord had intended us to walk he wouldn't have invented roller-skates.

Willy Wonka: So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it.

Willy Wonka: And Charlie: don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he'd ever wished for.
Charlie Bucket: What happened?
Willy Wonka : He lived happily ever after.

Willy Wonka: All I ask is for a tall ship and a star to sail her by. All aboard everybody.

Willy Wonka: [singing] In springtime, the only pretty ring time, birds sing hey ding, a-ding, a-ding. Sweet lovers love the spring.

Violet Beauregarde: [while sticking her finger up her nose & digging] . Spitting's a nasty habit.
Willy Wonka: [Glaring at her] I know a worse one.

Willy Wonka: Well... Two naughty, nasty little children gone... Three good, sweet little children left.

Mrs. Gloop : Don't just stand there do something.
Willy Wonka: [sarcastically] Help. Police. Murder.

Mrs. Gloop: Aye. Mr. Wonka help I'm getting squooshed.
Willy Wonka: Is it my soul that calls me by my name?

I liked this guy

Mitch Hedberg

I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for the doughnut - I'll just give you money and you give me the doughnut. End of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario in which I would need to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend... don’t even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here. Oh wait, it's back home in the file... under "D", for doughnut.
I rent a lot of cars, y'know, cuz I go on the road. I rent cars. And when I drive a rental car I don't know what's going on with it, right? So a lot of time I drive, like, for 10 miles with the emergency brake on. That doesn't say a lot for me, but it really doesn't say a lot for the emergency brake. It's really not an emergency brake, it's an emergency make-the-car-smell-funny lever.
Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.

I had a bag of Fritos. They were Texas Grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. Hell yeah. Reminds me of summer time, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. 'Better flip that Frito, Dad. You know how I like mine.
I like cinnamon rolls. That's why I wish they made, like, a cinnamon roll incense. 'Cause I don't always have time to make a pan. Perhaps I'd rather light a stick, and have my roommates wake up with false hopes.
I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store oftentimes I will drop it, so that it achieves its maximum flavor potential.
I opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid it said "Please Try Again" because they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I thought I might have opened the yogurt wrong, or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me. 'C'mon, Mitchell, don't give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, hope on top.'
I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.
I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil, and the devil is dill.
I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles was a laid-back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut 'em up."
I saw a six pack of soda-pop for $1.20. That price fucks with your head, man. Because then I thought that I would start selling soda-pop. Suddenly I got things of pop with me. "What's going on, Mitch?" "Not much, looking to buy some pop? Fifty cents a can. It's not refrigerated because this is a half-assed commitment."
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up.
That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for the bad food when it got to your stomach. Like, you could eat a carrot with an onion ring and they would travel down to your stomach, then they would get there, and the carrot would say, "It's cool, he's with me."
You know they call corn on the cob, corn on the cob, but that's how it comes out of the ground, man. They should call that corn, they should call every other version corn off the cob. It's not like if you cut off my arm you would call it Mitch. Then reattach it and call me Mitch-all-together...
I like swiss cheese. It's the only cheese you can draw with a pencil and identify.
(After replugging in his microphone) I hate puzzles.

He died the other day. At 37. Not 27, but pretty close. I think he died of drugs. Like Bob Dylan. I'm outta heeeeeaaaare.