Porn in a Store. Store bought Porn. Corn on the cob. That is to say, Port in a Storm.

So my family had very little to say about my flash in the pan fame yesterday even though I specifically asked them to talk about me some more. I guess they were a little worried about popso who has been in Florida for the past week. Right outside of Orlando. Right outside of This:

Whatever. That jerk is always stealing my thunder. And by "that jerk" I am referring of course to Florida and not to my father. (Although my father is a jerk, I would most likely refer to him as a jagoff or a nancyboy) As far as I know he lived and is back in sunny, natural disaster free California. But seriously, isn't Oregon great? I mean, when was the last time you heard of a natural disaster in Oregon? It has been a while, no? And even when there is a wild fire, chances are that it is far away from where people live. I'm never leaving. Unless I get accepted to school in Washington or New York and then I'm on the first bus out of this shitsville.

Speaking of Shitsville, why did all my friends like Idiocracy so much? I thought it was kind of crappy. There were some funny parts and the beginning felt like things were going to get really funny, but it never really delivered. On the funny. Especially compared to Office Space. My brother and dad didn't like it much either. I read some reviews of it to see if I am the crazy one and generally the reviews said about the same thing. It had some funny parts, and it had the potential to be really funny, but it just wasn't that great. I am disappointed in those who recommended it to me so strongly. But I can see how it would seem like a movie I would love. I did really love the premise. Oh well.

Remember in college when I had a Christian Bale movie marathon? Those were good times. I've been having my own little Christian Bale movie marathon by getting all the movies I'd never seen of his off of Netflix. So far, so good. So good. Most of the movies are crappy but did I mention that they have Christian Bale in them? Recently I watched Equilibrium, All the Little Animals, and Royal Deceit, AKA The Prince of Jutland. All three had these surprisingly incredible casts. Royal Deceit alone has about 500 of the most A-list of English Actors. Gabriel Byrne, Helen Mirren, Brian Cox, Kate Beckinsale, Tom Wilkinson, not to mention Christian Bale. But mostly all three were all crappy.

Lastly, after I made fun of that list on that guy's blog, I got to thinking that now I really want to answer the questions for real. I'm hoping maybe my aunty tuney and some of my blog friends like justin and alicia and marigold and steve and sara and my sister might post their lists here too, for fun. So here is my real list.

Movie-in no particular order Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Bottle Rocket, Velvet Goldmine, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, The Wizard of Oz.

Play-Probably M. Butterfly. Or Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. Or Arcadia. Or Angels in America.
Film Director-Maybe Soderbergh, or Jarmush, or Lynch. Probably Lynch? Wes Anderson? I can't say really.
TV Show -The State. Honorable Mention goes to Stella and Runners up are The Office, Conan O'Brien, The Daily Show, and Newsradio.
TV Movie or Mini-series-Roots, Helter Skelter, or Pride & Prejudice. Or The Secret Garden. Or all that Ken Burns stuff, New York and Baseball and The Civil War.

Playwright-Shaw/Stoppard/Kushner
Album - Court & Spark(Joni Mitchell) or Last Man On Earth (Loudon Wainwright III)
Novel-Cat's Cradle or To Kill a Mockingbird. or Enchantment. Or Catcher in the Rye.
Short Story-Just Before the War with the Eskimos-Salinger, or All in a Summer Day-Bradbury, or Forgiveness-Rebecca Brown.(That last one is so great!)
Novelist-Salinger or Vonnegut or Atwood. Eugenides?
Composer- Bach or Gershwin or Copeland
Classical Piece-Bolero
Opera-Madama Butterfly or Norma
Actor-Christian Bale
Actress-Laura Linney or Kate Winslet or Samantha Morton or Emma Thompson
Dancer-Donald O'Connor or Savion Glover
Beatle-George
Poet-Dickinson or Heaney or Stein
Non-Fiction Book-Guns, Germs, and Steal.
Painting- Paula Rego's The Family
Singer - Joni Mitchell or Cat Stevens or David Bowie. Or Jack Black.
Sculpture - Michael Jackson and Bubbles -Koons
Architectural Structure - The Great Pyramid or Stonehenge or Casa Batllo(anything Gaudi made)
Pope -N/A
Philosopher-Lyotard, does Chomsky count? Marx.
Dixie Chick - Natalie, by far and away.
Marx Brother - N/A

Maybe I hate lists because I can never make up my mind. Or because I don't really like this list. I should make my own list.