Podcast #4 - Longest and Best yet, Biotches.

There is just one thing about this podcast. There is this big air-conditioning fan thing outside of my apartment and I recorded this closer to the window then I have in the past and it picked up the sound much louder than normal. So, sorry about that. Next time I'll record it in my state of the art recording studio. I don't know why I didn't think of that before now since I've just been using the studio as storage for my garbage pail kids card collection and the dead bodies. Enjoy!

Gabcast! Diapantscast #9 - Diapantscast #4 - 13 minutes of Lucky Podcast Good Fun Times!

Letters From Uncle Daddy, Ideas for new segments for my Podcast-o-rama!, and some fabulous Political Humor.

Records, Broken like your home was.

Not only have I had the most posts in July, at 19, than any other month in my personal blogging history, I've already surpassed the number of blog posts that I had all last year and it is only July. Some might suspect that I have a lot more time on my hands than I used to. Some's suspicions might be correct, they might. They just might.

Disappointamentos and Freshmakers

Freshmaker - I saw Hairspray today and was literally grinning ear to ear for about the first twenty minutes. A Delight! Although, it was a little weird to see a movie adaptation of a stage musical adaptation of a movie. I can't wait until The Mockumentary of The Making Of the Musical Movie Adaptation of the Broadway Musical Hairspray(Based on the John Waters Film, Hairspray):The Musical!

Disappointamentos - The movie lady told me to please take my foot down off the seat in front of me. I was seething with anger and I could barely shake it off even with the dancing and the Walken and the singing. I mean, when was the last time you actually saw a theater worker asking someone to take their feet off the seats in a theater? Seriously? When? I want exact dates and times and the movies during which this occurred.

Freshmaker - I've been watching seasons 1 and 2 of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I had heard it was really funny but I thought it was like a sitcommy like thing. It isn't. It rules. Run, don't walk. Watch it! Plus, the story of how it got on T.V. is sooooo Damony/Aflecky.

Disappointamentos - The McSweeney's Lists were updated today and mine wasn't there yet. I wonder if this is the sort of thing where they say yes and then it doesn't run for like a year. I'll keep checking back every week only now I'll be much more judgemental of the lists they've put up before mine. It used to be a fun little diversion. I've ruined the lists for myself, I fear.

Oh, and my faith in my belief system about landlords has been buoyed. They all want to fuck you over as much as they can all the time and for no good reason. So all is well with the world.

McSweeee's Lists

Check it out:

from "lists@mcsweeneys.net" hide details 12:22 pm (3 hours ago)
reply-to lists@mcsweeneys.net
to Mandy Murphy
date Jul 24, 2007 12:22 PM
subject Re: Lists Submission

Mandy, We'd like to run this one, and thank you for sending it.
Best,
name deleted

Who is the most awesome? I am.

Podcast Numero Three !!!!! Tell Your Friends!

If you want to suscribe to this podcast on iTunes, paste this URL in your "suscribe to podcast" box under Advanced: http://www.gabcast.com/casts/11809/rss/rss.xml

Gabcast! Diapantscast #8 - Diapantscast #3

Harry Potter, No Spoilers Alert!, Emails from Uncle Daddy, and a very strange song.

The End

I just finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Anyone want to know how it ends?

Not with 20 gallon Hat

By the way, don't think I don't appreciate the outpouring of sympathy upon the news that my apartment was flooded. I guess it is my fault since I didn't properly explain the situation. While nothing truly precious was lost or damaged I did suck up almost 20 gallons of water with wet vac yesterday morning before going to work. And the entire place smells like five wet dogs up and died three days ago. I am lucky that nothing was ruined. Nothing that I really cared about, anyway. And my neighbor got the worst of it. She sucked up more than twice what I did and had about 2 inches of actual standing water in her kitchen. Yuck.

Spoiler Alert!

I just finished the latest Harry Potter book and I was shocked! Dumbledore Dies! Snape kills him!

Just kidding. I read that one a long time ago. I did reread it recently though, to get ready for the new one. I'm having a little bit of an issue about the new one right this minute, however. There is a Salon article on the newest book and I read the first page but before you go to the second page there is a warning that reads:

"Click on the link below only if you want to read a discussion of the series that includes information up to and including the very last page of the very last Harry Potter novel."

So should I look? Should I look? I'm not usually one of those people who doesn't want to know stuff. In fact, I often like knowing stuff about stuff before I read or watch or listen. For instance, when I get a new dvd in the mail from the netflix the first thing I do is pop it in and watch the special features. First. Before watching the movie. I find that it makes me want to see the movie that much more. I'm going to read it. Spoilers be damned!

Young Republican Chickenhawks

Why young republicans should be shot. Sent to Iraq and shot. Thanks to Mick Lasalle's blog for this link.

Also, last night we had a very brief but very hard rain and my apartment flooded just a touch. Good times.

2nd Podcast - A.K.A. - Blowing My Load

Gabcast! Diapantscast #7 - Diapantsie's 2nd Podcast - Brilliant Podding

Emails from Uncle Daddy, Ideas for My Podcast, and A Special Ditty

First Official Podcast

You are in for a big treat!

Gabcast! Diapantscast #6 - Diapantscast #1

There are Fists, Swords, Machine Guns, and Lasers.

As you may have gathered.

I've decided to try to further my ambition of a foray into the world of podcasting. I really think this is where it's at. This gabcast thing is free but I'm paying 6 bucks a month to get some of the extra features. You can just call a phone number and publish your telephone ramblings anywhere in the world. Or, if you are feeling more home bound and less frisky, you can just record your podcast and then upload it later when it is all polished and neat and clean for Eugene. As little orphan annie once sang, I think I'm gonna like it here.

test

Gabcast! Diapantscast #3

Saturday in the park, must've been the 14th of July

Slept in till about 11am this morning. Et an apple and an oats and honey granola bar. Drank down 2 cups of coffee. Listened to the Ricky Gervais Podcast. I'm on season three now. Karl talked a lot about insects. I have to say I agree with him a lot of the time about things. Like about the jellyfish. It is 97% water, give it another 3%, make him water. Good idea. Also about some words. He thinks there are too many and that when we introduce a new one we should get rid of one we don't use very much. His idea was the word for dodo. The bird is extinct so why not just get rid of the word? Good thinking Karl. He also hates all the words we use for extinct dinasaurs because they use a lot of x's and y's. Again, I can't tell if he is just the biggest idiot ever or if he is a genius. It is a fine line.

Talked for quite a white to Steve and Marigold over google talk. Made me late for work. It was nearly three in the afternoon and neither of them had showered or gotten dressed yet. Some parents they are. I wonder if Huck had even been fed? Doubtful.

Got to work about 10 minutes late. Oh well. Late for nothing. So far I've had to do about 2 little bits of work and the rest of the time I've been keeping up with Tim Goodman's blog. He is the television critic for the Chronicle. I am still keeping up with Mick LaSalle but I have to say that I like Tim Goodman a good deal more. This is his blog : http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfgate/indexn?blogid=24

Right now he is down in L.A. at the Television Critics Association summer press tour. He has been blogging about it several times a day and I find it fascinating. I wish I could do exactly what he does. Watch and bitch about television for a living. I think I have a lot to offer, having sat through every bad 80's and 90's sitcom several times over knowing that what I was watching was bad but enjoying it nonetheless. If being a critic is my true calling then being a television critic is my truest calling.

Stupid lyrics I heard today from Simon and Garfunkel: "I wish I was an English Muffin bout to make the most out of toaster." Lame.

There is something wrong with my shoulder. I think I am dying from shoulder cancer. I thought it was just a sore muscle but it has lasted about a week now.

I have to go now. Someone is trying to steal my time machine.

Karl Pilkington's Diary - S1E8

This is Karl Pilkington for you. These readings from Karl's diary are my favorite parts of the Ricky Gervais Podcast which should really be called the Karl Pilkington podcast as it mostly consists of Stephen Merchant and Ricky Gervais laughing at the stuff that comes out of Karl's mouth. Mostly I think he is just really this sort of idiot savant and he reminds me a lot of Justin. No offense intended toward Justin because I think he is way smarter than Karl but it is just that the things Karl thinks up and says outloud are sort of Justin-like. On the other hand, I've read some things that suggest that Karl is more of a character created by this guy. If you read the wikipedia page on him(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karl_Pilkington) there are a few references to the possibility that he can't possibly really be this stupid. Here is a quote from the page that points out some of the ambiguity, "Pilkington is likely not a pseudonym, and the comedian probably does have a girlfriend named Suzanne, but he simply tells ludicrous tales on the radio that make himseem 'gormless.' Pilkington's talent for acting in other pre-written segments, such as the 3 Minute Wonders, also suggests that he is, in fact, rather witty, has excellent timing, and is a talented actor/comedian, not a 'stupid Manc twat' as Gervais facetiously calls him."
Part of what I am so intrigued by with this guy is the ambiguousness of his persona. If he is really this dumb then Merchant and Gervais really just happened upon this untapped well of childlike hilarity. If the three of them are playing us then it is the most brilliant improvised ruse ever recorded. Either way, I love it!

I was going to talk about Karl Pilkington but instead

So one big shocking thing that will be revealed in book 7 of Harry Potter is, mark my words, this:

Harry's mom Lilly is related somehow to Voldemort. I've got a feeling. And Harry and Voldemort are related.

I saw the newest Harry Potter movie this morning and as I was driving home afterwards I got behind a car that had a bumper sticker reading "Republicans for Voldemort." Nice.

I've decided to reread the 6th book in preparation for the 7th being delivered to me next week or whenever the 21st is. So now I've seen the 5th book movie, I'm rereading the 6th, and when I get to the 7th I will be right there with it. I've also been reading some stuff on wikipedia and that is how I came to the conclusion above. You mark my words. Also, I said a long time ago that Dumbledore is not dead and Snape is not evil. And I stand by that.

3,830

That is how many songs I have on my iPod now. I finished putting all of my cd's on it. Whew. What a task. I've also been taking more advantage of the itunes podcast subscriptions. Mostly because I just realized yesterday why they are called podcasts. It literally used to drive me nuts that people would use this phrase like it meant something. I thought it was just some crazy made up word. It is, but it took getting an iPod to make the connection. I was walking down the hallway at the hospital listening to the Ricky Gervais Podcast (brilliant) and I said out loud, "Oooooh! iPod... PODCAST." I also realized that there was no Santa Clause. I never said I was a genius. Oh wait, I have on several occasions. I've even written it here many times I think. Oh well. Some of you have also been keeping up on my flickr page I've noticed. Making comments here and there on some of the new old pictures I've been scanning and uploading. Pretty sweet, eh? Well I just did a few more so you are so lucky. I even dug up my most favorite picture of me taken ever and I added it to this blog. I'll probably be sick of it in a few months but until then, Jesus. What a great moment captured.

Lots more where that came from folks. Actually, there aren't that many more. This scanner is so quick and I can do three pictures at a time so I can really rip through them. Technology is like carpets. Hard to clean but nice on the feet. Speaking of feet, if I had new batteries to put in my camera I would take a picture and post it here of my horribly wounded ankle/foot after taking a bit of a spill yesterday when I was maneuvering through the hazards around my apartment. I scraped myself up pretty good. If I do say so myself. My ego stung immediately and then soon the scrape followed suit. With a wound like that I could get rolled at night. And I don't mean on a crap table. Whisky Wow Wow. I am a big shot. Name of Bachelor Johnny Cool. I'm strictly an L man; liquor, love, and laughs. That was quite a little tangent there. Oh well.

I watched ratatouille tonight. Good fun. Take the grandkids.

What should I do on my day off tomorrow?

Happy Birthday To Me!!!!

I am so young. So very young. Really, I have my whole life ahead of me. Right? Right.

I got my iPod and my scanner all up and running. And because I threatened Steve the other day, telling him I'd post some really really funny pictures of him that he hates from back when his hair was really long and he looked like a girl, here you go:




Great stuff.



That is, left to right, Steve, Will, Sheila and Me at Humboldt in the Spring of 1997. And this is left to right, Sean, Will, Steve, Me, Sheila and Joe in Hemlock Hall in 1997.

Oh college.

Anyway, Happy Birthday to me. I hope you are looking forward to some more funny pictures from days of yore because I gotsem up the ass.

Happy Fourth of July!

America, America, god do some stuff on you. And shine your shoes, with broooother blues from sea to shining seeeeeeeeea!

Or something like that.

I went to parade and then had a big lunchy lunch with my family. Pictures are here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/diapantsies/

You are so lucky to be an American. I'm off to burn some fags. Er... Flags. I mean. Remember when the latter used to be more offensive to the former? Boy, times have changed. Some say for the better. Some say.

Just kidding. I love the homosexuals and the flags EQUALLY. Because that is what America is about. Equality. Well, I'm off to burn some flags.

Has anyone else seen the ads for the show on VH1 with Scott Baoaiaoaiao? I think it is called Scott Baio is 45 and Single. Or Still Single. I for one CANNOT WAIT to see it. I've been waiting for the big Scott Baio come back and I'm hoping this is it. Fingers crossed for Scott Baio. Everyone think good thoughts for Baio. Think them... or else. In the ads we learn that the first person Baio had sexual intercourse with was Joni. I thought that was a little bit weird. First of all, that it happened, and second of all, that this is being revealed on national television.

I might get my iPod tomorrow! I'm so excited!

Ross The Intern Mathews Talky Blog: Perez Hilton and me.

Okay, so I will admit wholeheartedly to being a fan of PerezHilton.com. This is Ross the Intern and Perez off of Ross's Talky Blog and if you hold on until the end you will be happy you did. If for nothing else then to see a front shot of the adorable bag that Perez is carrying and to wax nostalgic for Salt 'n Peppa. Oooh Baby Baby. Push it. Push it real good. I want to hang out with these two sooo bad. And Ross totally IS the Jetsons and Rosie ODonnell totally IS the Flintstones.

Pubic Service Announcement.

Ha ha ha. That one always kills. Public? Pubic? What an embarrassing typo! Oh the English language! Filled to the brim with potential yucks.

But seriously, I have vital information to pass along as a service from me to you.

Firstly, did you know that one of the most delicious snacks to have is graham cracker/frosting sandwiches? I personally like the plain white cream cheese frosting but chocolate is also very good. Any type of frosting at all really. My grandmother used to give this to me as a snack when I would visit her as a child. I recently rediscovered it because the hospital here gives away little packets of graham crackers for free like the regular saltines near the soup and I have been in the habit of grabbing one or two of them. I was at the store recently and realized, hey! I can buy graham crackers here and eat them at home! And then I thought, oh goodness, I should get a little thing of frosting too! And here we are today. I actually feel healthier eating this rather than overly processed and packaged cookies and other sweet things. It is all in my mind, of course, (I mean what is more processed than frosting!) but still it is delicious and cheap and kind of fun to eat.

Secondly, Happy July the First! For those of you keeping track, my birthday is in 5 days which gives you just enough time to order something for me online and get it delivered in time even with the Holiday. And to tell the truth, I don't mind getting gifts a few days late. I am very forgiving. Just don't buy me an iPod because I just bought myself one. I am so freaking excited about it! Look at me! Cellphones, iPods, casual sex with strangers I met on craigslist. I am such an early 21st century girl. Like, circa 2003 or 2004. That craigslist part was mostly a fabrication. Turns out, we had met before. That part was also a fabrication. But to get back to the point, I also bought myself a scanner. I had been perusing them for quite some time now. I have this idea in my head that a scanner will somehow make my life so much better and more interesting. I don't know how this is even remotely possible since all it will do is keep me shut in my apartment going through old photos and documents and reliving my painful sordid past. This is exactly what I do not need, right? I know, right?

But that is the plan. Scanning documents, making myself digital. For posterity. For the children I'll never have. I have been watching reruns of Sex in the City on the CW/WB/UPN lately. It is on when I get home from work. I always really liked that show but it is so much more relevant to my life now so of course now I hate it and throw things at the television when stupid Carrie makes some stupid pun or stupid Samantha does the same line reading and inflection of every single phrase she utters or stupid Charlotte and Miranda, who should not even be friends with these other two, let alone each other, make me even more angry by making me RELATE to them and continue watching. Usually I throw my dirty socks because I have an endless supply of dirty socks because I haven't done my laundry in two weeks. Now when I do my laundry I already have a nice pile of dirty socks all sorted and ready to go in front of the television. Thanks, SJ. That's what I call Sarah Jessica Parker for short. By the way, I think her clothing line, Bitten, is fugly. Can I get a Hell Yeah? Or a What What? Which is it going to be?

Is it me, or could that last paragraph have been excerpted directly out of a fictitious column of Carrie Bradshaw's herself? That show must be causing me direct harm in my Brains.

In sum, Birthday (July 6th, mark your calendulas (that is a joke for Marigold)), already have an iPod and scanner on the way so buy me something else, Sex in the City makes me feel ill but in a good way mostly, and graham crackers with frosting is the best thing to prevent prostate cancer (I'm pretty sure it will prevent me from getting it).

There was one more thing... What was it...My favorite Holiday is 4th of July! Have fun! I'm not sure if I'll be able to hold a sparkler this year or not. Maybe next year when I'm 29 I'll hold a sparkler. There was still something else... darn it.

I remembered! I took a page from Marigold's book regarding Myspace. I fucking hate it. I hated it the second I entered into it's crass page designs and obnoxious music. I think it is retarded and I just hate it. Okay? Jeez. Get off my back. So recently, when Marigold decided to just give it all up (for Lent, I assume) and delete herself I thought to myself, if Marigold can do it, I can. I didn't, but I came close. I am just as mildly obsessed with it as the next guy. I want to see what people are up to. My voyeurist inclinations are partially sated by it. So I parred down my page and my info and I deleted all my friends. I felt so much better afterward. If you used to be my myspace friend and you aren't anymore it isn't because you aren't my friend. If anything, I like you too much to have you be my fake myspace friend. I mean, in a world where Marigold isn't my myspace friend, what does friendship even mean? I also want to issue out a call for all people to delete all their fake friends. Instead of seeing how many fake friends you can have, let's see who can have the fewest. I tried to have zero but for some reason it still says I have 2. Maybe this is to keep me from killing myself and suing myspace? They can always say, hey, we gave lonelyloser.com there 2 imaginary friends, you can't blame us.

There. That was all.