Jokes I made up.

I heard that the surviving members of The Doors are getting the band back together again. I went to audition to be their new lead singer but I didn't make the band. They told me, "You'd actually make a better window."

I seems like a lot of dead rock stars, like Jim Morrison, died from choking on their own vomit. I don't know about you but when my mom would serve me up a big bowl of steaming hot vomit and I would start to gobble it down she would always say, "Don't eat so fast! You're going to choke!" Thats how I've lived this long, I guess. I chew my vomit the recommended 30 times before I swallow it.