Jesus, I really hate James Taylor. Not the person. I actually think the going nuts and the becoming all googly-eyed and weird is interesting. I just really can't stand some of his songs, is all.
But speaking of songs, as of late I have been sort of down in the dumps, you might say. You don't say! Yes, down in the dumps. However, I have been listening to the soundtrack to the musical Assassins (which is grrrrreat, by the way. Sondheim, you know. Can't go wrong, tut tut). It is a musical about different people who either assassinated or attempted to assassinate presidents. One of the assassinators is the guy who killed Garfield. Charles J. Guiteau. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_J._Guiteau
The song lyrics are here for you:
[GUITEAU]I am going to the Lordy,I am so glad.I am going to the Lordy, I am so glad.I am going to the Lordy,Glory Hallelujah!Glory Hallelujah!I am going to the Lordy...
[BALLADEER]Come all ye Christians,And hear from sinner:Charlie Guiteau.Bound and determinedHe'd wind up a winner,Charlie had dreams That he wouldn't let go.Said, "Nothing to it,I want it, I'll do it,I'm Charles J. Guiteau."Charlie Guiteau Never said "Never"Or heard the word "No."Faced with disaster, His heart would beat faster,His smile would just grow,And he'd say:
[GUITEAU]Look on the bright side,Look on the bright side,Sit on the right side Of the lord.This is the land of Opportunity,He is your lightning,You his sword.Wait till you see tomorrow,Tomorrow you'll get you reward!You can be sad Or you can be President-Look on the bright side...I am going to the Lordy...
[BALLADEER]Charlie Guiteau Drew a crowd to his trial,Led them in prayer,Said, "I killed Garfield,I'll make no denial.I was just acting for someone up there.The Lord's my employer,And now He's my lawyer,So do what you dare."Charlie said, "Hell,If I am guilty,Then God is as well."But God was aquitted And Charlie committed Until he should hang.Still, he sang:
[GUITEAU]Look on the bright side,Not on the black side.Get off your backside,Shine those shoes!This is you golden Opportunity:You are the lightning And you're news!Wait till you see tomorrow,Tomorrow you won't be ignored!You could be pardoned,You could be President-Look on the bright side...I am going to the Lordy...
[BALLADEER]Charlie Guiteau Had a crowd at the scaffold-
[GUITEAU]I am so glad...
[BALLADEER]-Filled up the square,Som many people That tickets were raffled.Shine on his shoes Charlie mounted the stair,Said, "Never sorrow,Just wait till tomorrow,Today isn't fair.Don't despair..."
[GUITEAU]Look on the bright side,Look on the bright side,Sit on the right side...Of the...I am going to the Lordy, I am so glad!I am going to the Lordy,I am so glad!I have unified my party, I have saved my country.I shall be remembered!I am going to the Lordy...
[BALLADEER]Look on the bright side,Not on the sad side,Inside the bad side Something's good!This is you golden Opportunity:You've been a preacher-
[GUITEAU]Yes, I have!
[BALLADEER]You've been an author-
[GUITEAU]Yes, I have!
[BALLADEER]You've been a killer-
[GUITEAU]Yes, I have!
[BALLADEER]You could be an angel_
[GUITEAU]Yes, I could!
[BALLADEER]Just wait until tomorrow,Tomorrow they'll all climb aboard!What if you never Got to be President?You'll be remembered-Look on the bright side-Trust in tomorrow-
[BOTH]And the Lord!
Now, I know you probably won't read all that but this song is so great! And this guy who killed the president actually recited the part about "I am going to the lordy, I am so glad" over and over again while standing in front of the noose. I like this crazy optimism in the face of death. What a great assassin!
March 17, 2007
When you're down and out, and you need a helping hand, and nothing.. no nothing blah blah blah blah
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3 comments:
AmandaPants, I happened upon this website that uses the exact same format as you.
http://jonswift.blogspot.com/
Is this yet another one of your alter-egos?
Also you made a cameo appearance in a dream I had a couple of weeks ago. I was in a Safeway looking at shampoos when you walked by me and mumbled something incoherent, then proceeded on to the checkout counter. What does this mean? And what did you say to me? I can't remember.
BTW Why are you home on St. Patrick's Day posting comments on Mick LaSalle's website? My excuse is that I'm too drunk to drive and I'm busy trading homophobic insults with someone named Klingon. Is Klingon one of your aliases? Also my word verification ZJWMCVH is the name of my old Czechoslavakian landlady. If things don't work out for you in your new apartment maybe she can help you out.
The truth is, although I am risking death by stalker by revealing this, the truth is that I am at work on St. Patrick's Day posting comments on Mick LaSalle's website. My excuse is that I got too drunk at work to actually work so alls I could do was read Mick LaSalle's website and plan horrible things to do to a professor at my school who I dislike but have never met or taken a class with. Oh, that and draw up floor plans of my new apartment and cut up pieces of paper to represent my furniture and then move them around in different figurations. I was not drunk enough not to do that. And for the record, I never mumble. EVER. I enunciate every syllable and I speak in a very loud voice. Even my whispers are stage whispers.
And I don't have any alter-egos. I wish I had the time.
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