dreams and aspirations

I had a dream last night that Jonathan Safran Foer and I met in Ashland. My sister knew him and intimated that they had dated or something briefly many many years ago when she lived in New York. Well, we hit it off like gangbusters and the next thing I knew we were having Thanksgiving dinner at my parents house in Yreka where a gaggle of old ladies all dressed in red were in the back yard with my mother who had decorated the back yard all in red with a red red runner like a red carpet down the center leading to where the birds would be buried to cook. And Jonathan Safran Foer filled up a mug with a special wine he had brought from Europe and told me I smelled of lilacs. It was really great. I just finished his latest book, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close and I really liked it. In fact, I was explaining the plot to my coworker and she got goosebumps and I started to tear up from telling the different stories. It was so silly. I really like my coworker angelina and her fiance who also works with us but in a separate area. They are getting married next June so we talk about wedding stuff a lot and it makes me feel like a real live girl.

I've been feeling sort of self conscious about writing this blog because it is so self indulgent. Tell me I'm being ridiculous. Thanks.

I was going to write a book but I've changed my mind for now. Jonathan Safran Foer made me want to write a book but then when I finished his book and I liked it so much it made me feel really inadequate. Which might be another reason why I've been feeling self conscious about writing in this blog.

I'm done with school for a while so other than working 6 hours every day, my time has been spent sleeping in, playing video games, watching movies, and debating whether or not to write a book. And I've been doing some GRE preparation, which is really fun. I am surprised whenever I know anything. I still haven't narrowed down the schools that I want to apply to but my most likely list right now is UC Irvine, UC San Diego, University of Oregon, Berkeley(just for fun because I don't think I'll get in but it would be really great to live in Berkeley), and maybe maybe UC Davis. Although probably not that last one. And possible some other places. Mostly I'm sticking to the west coast which might include University of Washington but I don't know if I can handle that weather. Maybe I'll follow in my sister's footsteps and apply to Columbia so that I can go to school with Isaac. And then I get drop out when Broadway calls. Although I doubt it. But I was briefly entertaining the idea of NYU because I heart NY. But I think the east coast is mostly out of the question as I am a west coast kind of girl. I think.

I saw Little Miss Sunshine last weekend. And I saw Talladega Nights. Both were very very funny. I watched the documentary Why We Fight, which was awesome and I think everyone should see it. And I watched Elaine Stritch:At Liberty, which was a one woman show on Broadway of this old broad who has diabetes just like me. But it isn't about how she has diabetes. It is how she was a drunk and knew Noel Coward and went out on a date with Marlon Brando, etc etc. With songs in between. She is great.

I can't remember what else. Except that I love Jonathan Safran Foer.

Rarely Spotted Duck

I've been browsing my pictures lately, mostly because of Avantard's amazing find on the internet, otherwise known as This Site: http://www.myheritage.com/FP/Company/celebrity-collage.php

This is hours of fun. Totally awesome. But I keep coming across the picture above and it becomes increasingly funny to me. I love Marigold's expression and my expression and I love the setting and I love that our shirts are close in color and the lady behind us is also in a reddish color. Like there was some color scheme suggested for the party that we all had to stick to in a round about way. It may be my favorite picture!

Top Secret Email

Sent in an email to my sister, re-related here for all and sundry. I forgot that I have no secrets:

Not really super secret. Actually maybe I'll just write this and then post it into my blog. So Trish Kimbell, Erin Landaker and Gabe Grunbaum all showed up at my house, of all places, to meet before going over to the actual reunion. It was weird seeing those three all together. At the reunion they had a memorial wall set up for the students that died. Leah's mom gave them a photo album filled with all these pictures from highschool and some even from junior high of Erin and Leah and me at eighth grade graduation. And then Hilary Conroy told Erin and Me that Leah's mom had asked to see the two of us the next day, either at the barbecue that was planned for Sunday or somewhere else if that wouldn't work. So Erin and I were a little freaked out about that all night but we did end up meeting with her and I got to see Leah's little sisters all growned up and it was really nice to just get together and talk about old times and tell funny stories. Her mom got a little teary when she first drove up but she was fine after that. Erin and I were both a little worried that it would just be a big blubbery mess but it was kind of fun. I totalllllly fell in love with Corey Brown, who you don't remember I'm sure. I didn't remember he existed and couldn't even remember his last name. He teaches english and coaches soccer at a high school in fremont. Pretty close to you! I mostly talked to him along with Trish and Erin and Katie Selman and Sarah Bray (mike bray's little sister!) Oh and Cole Bray, the cousin of sarah and mike who is the funniest person ever a fact which I had to relate to him over and over drunkenly. And this one guy, Tod Gallon, who was simply the hit of the whole night, making everyone laugh non stop for hours and hours. Everyone was talking about Todd. Honestly, my stomach was sore for two days after just from laughing and having fun. I did drink a little so I am leaving big chunks out like an interesting conversation I had with Jeff Strutz and some high jinx with Gabe Grunbaum who was also a lot of fun. And some people are married and have children and some people don't and aren't and some people have good jobs and A LOT of people don't and some people are still in school or going back to school. Oh! And Stacey Alger. Who is still hilarious and just had a baby three weeks ago. And I actually hung out with Jessica Freitas and was surprised with how jaded she has become and how much it suits her. That's it, in a nutshell. Fucking Crazy Motherfucking shit, if you ask me.

Clell Tickle: Indie Marketing Guru

This made me laugh and laugh.

10 year anniversaries are better than your mom.

So I ended up going last night. I'm not sure if I can tell the WHOLE story as it is long and interesting yet tedious to tell again and again. Generally speaking, it was way more fun than I ever would have imagined. Way more. I am imbued with love for all mankind, and I also have a little hangover. If anyone sends me pictures I'll post some of them here with a more detailed story. I bet you can't wait. You, Marigold. I bet you can't wait.

Christ-like Post

This post is Christ-like. Like, as if. As if Christ himself were here, in my fingers, typing an astonishing 73.5 wpm. Christ is really good at scrambler.

Scrambler was this game I used to play on AOL way back in the day. I loved it so much.

I read the most recent installment of Harry Potter. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???????????????????

Why did it have to happen? I have my own theories. Oh yes. Theories wherein certain people DON'T die and were rather impostors to begin with and so could not have actually been killed. That is one theory I have. Amongst many. You know what I'm talking about. Well, Steve does. Hi Steve!!! I wish there was an emoticon for waving. Actually, I take that back. I wish there were no emoticons for anything. With one possible exception, that exception being the exceptional ))<>((.

What color should I dye my hair tomorrow? My little baby cousin died her hair blond. What a whore! Just kidding Maggie. You're no whore. Yet. Maybe now that your hair is blond. Who knows really.

"Mandy?" "what?" "Are you typing in there?" "no" "Knock it off" "fuck you"

That is a conversation I just had with my brother. The truth is, I am typing in here. What a sucker.

The other day I was explaining to my little Spanish class buddy/stalker Nicholas what youtube is. He had never heard of it. He is a spaz and always wants to know what I am doing and where I am going and what I've been up to and follows me around literally like a puppy dog. I asked him if there was anything in the world that is his favorite thing and that he would like to see a video of with the intention of showing him that pretty much anything can be seen on Youtube but instead of saying something a normal 20 year old would say, he grabbed my arm in a half hug and said, "you!" And when I said, "get off me" and asked again he said, "Flamenco!" I don't know what to do about this kid. He is a freak of nature. He is very friendly and outgoing and has a very skewed sense of boundaries. Like, for instance, he doesn't understand that I don't really enjoy being touched and half-hugged by 20 year old guys I just met a few weeks ago in Spanish class, unless that person is my 21 year old cutie little blond christian boyfriend. But he sees nothing wrong with this. And he sees nothing wrong with tracking me down after I've found a secluded corner and sitting down next to me during our break and reading my emails outloud to himself. And he sees nothing wrong with following me to the coffee shop, buying nothing, following me to my table, and talking to me about completely inane and mundane things. And he doesn't think it is weird to draw pictures of me in class. Twice. And he doesn't think it is weird to poke me and try to tickle me during class. Twice. What the hell? There are other weird things he has done, but I can't remember all of them. Luckily I only have one more week of Spanish class. And then no school until the end of September!!!! Yay! All my mornings will be free and easy and breezy. And a little bit sleazy. Goes without saying.

Christ Almighty on a stick is it ever bed time for little mandypants. See you tomorrow!

Rock n Sock Ruck Sack

Isn't it about time that I actually write something funny here again? Isn't it? But really what I want to talk about is how much I love comedians. And Comedy. And comedians who do comedy. Tonight I am watching this dane cook fellow who just may well be maybe well might be just the CUTEST! I am like bugs bunny on the moon for this guy! I've seen him before and watched him when he hosted SNL and all that shit and stuff but he has grown on me even more over these last few minutes. What a nice man.

Also, It is time to take stock. Hmmmm... Well... I have a very infantile crush on a sweet little blond Christian 21 year old fellow in my Spanish class and I think it would be hilarious to be best friends with him and lead him astray. Afterall, isn't that the only good thing about getting older? Fucking with young minds? Isn't it? Doesn't that sound like fun? Just be all like, "Blam! Here is some bad language and new ideas all up in your Christian face, sweet cheeks!" Because that's about as astray as I can lead someone. I wish I was really into heroin or S&M because that would be more interesting. Oh well. What else... Hmmmm... What would future Mandy want to read about and remember about the summer of Ot Six? Well I am actually mostly enjoying work because I like my coworkers and I feel more comfortable saying bad words and making unprofessional and dirty comments. Like the other day when this one guy was asking for a patient's films whose last name happened to be Cox. "I need Cox!" he said. And I said "What? Can you repeat that?" And he said, "Cox! I need Cox!" And I said, "I bet you do." I mean that is just high quality night shift hijinx right there. If you want to know if working at a hospital is just like S.C.R.U.B.S, well it is. Exactly like it. My boss also got fired recently. That is a crazy story and good for some work gossip but probably not good for me to spout out about here. Also, in the spirit of almost talking about things I shouldn't, I found out some interesting things about both a local celebrity and an actual celebrity who lives locally. Have I piqued your interest? Well suck on it, because I can't say nufin. I've spent this weekend and last weekend hangin' out with my sis and her baby and that has been some good fun times, I tell you what. Also, there is somewhat of a saga of a story that I should tell about my high school reunion which I had emphatically and repeatedly declined attending for weeks and months and years but as it is now a week away I'm still not sure if I'm going to go or not. Prolly not. But I am one fucking crazy motherfucking dumbfucking stupid assed bitch-faced-hole so who knows.

And with that, Good Night Muckrakers.

daa daaaaah da da da da da... (da da da da da da)

for the watching of the youtube promos contest for the watching of the office. Do it now!

or else.

And while I'm on the subject, toughnuts, don't you just haaaate it when you wait and wait for some dick-wad of a friend of yours who isn't even really a friend but rather a friend of a friend or even a friend thrice removed, don't you hate it when such a person finally posts something new to their pathetic little blog that you nonetheless feel the need to check on a semiregular basis, don't you hate it when that person says something, after weeks, like "I've been sooooo busy!" As if you've just been waiting with baited (bated?) breath for this retard you don't even know to post something about their pathetic lives in order to entertain you for mere minutes? As if.

God, I've been sooooooo busy.

Seriously. Busy up the ass, if you know what I mean. And I think you do.