If I was a defense lawyer I would always argue that my clients lack motive and opportunity because of their welfare queen mother's poor upbringing, their own personal laziness, and because they were raised before george w bush wouldn't allow them to be left behind like the lucky kids of today. This way, all the redneck dicks would let them off. I'd be the best defense lawyer ever!

I watched Black Snake Moan last night. I just don't know WHAT to think anymore! It was good, I guess. And it had Justin Timberlake in it and then last night I had a dream that I was hanging out with Justin Timberlake because I was like his neighbor or something and he was playing some music that was blowing my mind and just being generally really cool and I said, "Justin, you are the coolest friend I've ever had in my whole life." And he said "That's great for you. We should hang out more often." And he said it in a way that made me understand that he didn't really think of us as "friends" but more as "neighbors" and "acquaintances." Fuck you, JT!

I also had a dream that somehow I got framed and everyone thought I was a big pothead and I was working for both Hilary Clinton AND Barak Obama's campaigns and there was a big controversy over it but since it was a black mark on both of their campaigns it all came out a wash. But I felt really really bad and was crying to Hilary saying "I let you down! I'm so sorry I let you down! I let my nation down!" Also bob dole was there and it was at the beach and I had a package of hotdogs in my hands that I hated for some reason.

I'm pretty sure that this dream was because I forgot to drop my ballot of at the polling station for the oregon primaries last week. I let my nation down and I had voted for Obama so I had also let Hilary down even though it didn't really count since I didn't actually vote for Obama because I let my nation down by not sending my ballot in. I've said it before but it bears repeating. Democracy totally stresses me out! I like it when my dreams are so easy to analyze, however. Except for the hotdogs part. Oh wait, I know what that means too.

Cause at least I know I'm free

And I'll proudly stand UP!

Do you know that song? I'm proud to be an american. I was just singing it because I have a funny secret. Sometimes I think it is totally great and endlessly amusing that I have diabetes. This morning I woke up and got out of bed and then sat on my couch, which is my favorite thing to do especially on a sunday morning. But there was a needle on my couch. And I remember all the times I was kind of embarrassed when someone would be visiting and there would just be needles around or streaks of blood near my computer at work because I tested my blood sugar and didn't wait for my finger to stop bleeding before I went back to work. But I'll tell you something. I'm not always embarrassed. Sometimes I think it is totally badass and it rocks and it rules and it automatically makes me feel tuff and better than other people.

I love myself!

Anyway, my aunty made me write something by making me feel guilty. And angelina made me feel guilty and other people who left comments about not reading anything on my blog. Whatever, all you bitches and hos.

I saw Iron Man yesterday. I liked it a lot but I have to tell you it wasn't as great as I had been led to believe that it would be. For instance, Transformers last summer was better. But it was pretty good. And any kind of America where Robert Downey Jr. plays a superhero is one that I am proud to a citizen of. And I'll proudly stand UP.

I'm tired. 7:30 in the morning is too early to write a blog.