Hoax

I'm not who I say I am.

So I think I might have an apartment. Fingers Crossed! Knock on Socks! Hop on Pop! Jesus Mocks! He is Franz Kafka, Franz Kafka. Have you ever watched Home Movies? It was a cartoon show for 'Dults and I think it was on in the late nineties or the early ots. I had caught a few episode on the tube some years back and then I decided to get all the episodes of all the seasons on DVD through the Netflix. It is great.

Tiki Apartments. That's the place. The party place. The Bacherlorette Pad for the swinging kind of 90s gal that I am. And there is an actual Tiki Totem thing type of thingy as you walk in the front gate of the place. Awesome. I think it might be cursed though.

The reason I'm posting something now is because I am avoiding doing actual work. Actual work work, like for my job, a-which I am currently getting paid for "working" at right now. Also, in addition to actual work, I am avoiding school work which is the work I do when I am at work and it is supremely slow. It is supremely slow but I have one thing I should get done right now and am avoiding doing because I am lazy, shiftless, and godless. And i have no God. See how I didn't capitalize "i" but I did "God. That is because I revere the lord.

Two things I recommend:

zap reader and spreeder. I don't feel like linking them. Google them your goddamn selves. Anywhoo, alls you have to do is paste some text you want to read rill rill fast and these sites sort of help you in that endeavor. It is really really helping me get through the last section of Uncle Tom's Cabin. This is a good book. But it is long and wordy and filled with a lot of Christ talk. Jebus this and Jebus that, and the lord spaketh Let my people go. Etcetera. And alls I can do is think in my head all the time, a la The King and I, "Run Eliza, Run! Poooooor Eliza!" Turns out, the King and I version of the small house of Uncle Tom is a horrible retelling of the original. It is filled with misinformation. So don't watch it and then think you can write a paper about Uncle Tom's Cabin. Read the Cliff's Notes instead, dummy.

I also recommend other things. Buying me a couch. Or a loooooveseat. Although I don't think of you like that. Maybe if I was drunk or you were rich.

How about a little fuck music?