84 year old pilots

An 84 year old man's plane went down over happy camp which is near where my parents live. They assume that the 84 year old man was the one flying it but they don't know for sure. They've called off the rescue.

I want to know why they don't know who is flying planes? Seriously. They know a plane took off from somewhere in southern california but they can't confirm who the pilot was? That's crazy. I think they are trying to cover up the fact the the FAA cleared this 84 year old to fly by not confirming that it was him flying. I think it looks a lot worse to not know who was flying a plane at all then to have cleared an 84 year old for flying. The whole thing makes the FAA look a little foolish, regardless of the outcome. They should be honest about what happened because they look like dumbasses no matter what.

I've talked to two patients recently, one 77 and one 79 who are fighting the FAA to get medical clearance to continue flying. They need letters from their cardiologists stating they are medically safe to fly. I would like to take their driver's licenses away from them both. One came back in this morning and I wanted to tell him that his timing couldn't be worse what with the news an all but I didn't want to be the one to tell him he's probably not going to get his clearance. When you have to ask me "What's that?" after every sentence, especially me, the loudest person in the world, maybe you shouldn't be flying any more.

I think I'm angry at old people today because I've had to yell at them a lot today. I think when people are hard of hearing and you have to yell at them you subconsciously feel that you are angry because you are yelling. Kind of like when you smile on purpose your mood is supposed to get better.

One of them was nearly 100 years old. Christ. I'm not sure I want to be around in 70 years if everyone is just going to yell at me all the time.

Jokesters

I hate Jokesters. Especially jokesters at work. Unless it is me. Then I like jokesters.

I'm glad I didn't plan a Lost Themed wedding because that show was kind of dumb last night.

I know I would have been disappointed with any outcome and I already knew I didn't like the turn the show took once things started happening that couldn't and wouldn't be explained by, like, science and stuff. But I was really hoping to get some more about the origins of the island and how and why things ended up that way in the first place. I mean, it is all well and good to say all that crap about heaven or hell or purgatory or whatever, but you can do that in any setting. Why have this cool island with sciency stuff but not have any sciency type of resolution? Like who put that stone thingy in the glory hole light cave? It was all carved. I mean, just say it was space aliens and let me feel some semblance of an actual plausible explanation other than a bunch of empty religiosity.

Colin and I have the most beautiful blue colored book shelves! They are almost all painted and then we can put actual books on them. And that will be really great, let me tell you. I need to unpack all our boxes before July 24th, don't you think?

the changing face of america

I found a staple in my coffee cup at work this morning. Someone is trying to poison me! I didn't drink it though, so we are all safe for one more day at least.

Test printing invites today at work. Don't tell that I'm using office supplies for my own ends. I mean, someone wasted a perfectly good staple trying to poison me so I don't think using a little bit of ink will be too bad.

parties are great

Parties really ARE great. Also, Michaels is great. I got my cheapo invitations there, ON CLEARANCE, and some string lights, ON CLEARANCE, and some fake poppies and some other crap. What a fun place. You know what stinks about the one here in Medford at least is that it doesn't have a big selection of pens. You'd think it would but you'd be wrong. Dead wrong.

And do you know what else? I can't wait to have a fun party!

WEDDING DATE JULY 24TH, 2010 5:30PM, MY HOUSE, INVITATIONS WITH MAPS AND INFO WILL BE SENT OUT SOON!

EVENTS:

Wedding Day - Saturday 7/24/10

Ceremony will be held promptly at 5:30pm.
Guests are welcome to come early for drinks and to get a good seat up front.
Dinner and reception will start at 6:00pm and will continue until the bride and groom are too tired to keep their heads up.
Information on hotels/motels and other lodging options will be included in the invitations and I will post the information here on the side bar as well. Guests are welcome to "Camp out" at our home as well, provided there aren't too many people who take us up on this offer!

WEEK OF 7/17-7/23

Britt Festival Shows going on this week:
17 Sat 6:30 p.m. The New Pornographers / The Dodos / Imaad Wasif
$27 Reserved; $23 Lawn; $19 Child (0-12); $108 Premium Reserved Lawn (for 4)

18 Sun 6:30 p.m. The Rhythm Devils / Special Guest TBA
$41 Reserved; $27 Lawn; $19 Child (0-12); $164 Premium Reserved Lawn (for 4)

20 Tue 7 p.m. The Swell Season / Black Prairie
$33 Reserved; $23 Lawn; $19 Child (0-12); $132 Premium Reserved Lawn (for 4)

22 Thurs 7:30 p.m. Jimmy Cliff / Trevor Hall
$45 Reserved; $25 Lawn; $19 Child (0-12); $180 Premium Reserved Lawn (for 4)

23 Fri 7:30 p.m. Jamie Cullum / Special Guest TBA
$35 Reserved; $23 Lawn; $18 Child (0-12); $140 Premium Reserved Lawn (for 4)

Oregon Shakespeare Festival

Saturday, Jul. 17, 2010

2:00 PM American Night New Theatre | Jun. 29-Oct. 31
As Juan José studies for his citizenship exam, his obsession to pass takes him on a fatastical odyssey. This production premieres OSF's highly anticipated U.S. history cycle, American Revolutions. (Mild profanity, violence. Recommended ages 12 and up)

8:30 PM Twelfth Night Elizabethan Stage | Jun. 1-Oct. 8
Our 75th anniversary production of Shakespeare's treasured comedy - the play that launched OSF in 1935. (Recommended ages 6 and up)

8:30 PM Hamlet Angus Bomwer Theatre | Feb. 19-Oct. 30
Something is rotten in Denmark... the king is dead and Prince Hamlet is charged by his father's ghost to avenge his death. OSF's first production in a decade of Shakespeare's psychologically rich masterpiece. (Mature themes. Recommended ages 12 and up)

8:30 PM American Night New Theatre | Jun. 29-Oct. 31
As Juan José studies for his citizenship exam, his obsession to pass takes him on a fatastical odyssey. This production premieres OSF's highly anticipated U.S. history cycle, American Revolutions. (Mild profanity, violence. Recommended ages 12 and up)

Sunday, Jul. 18, 2010

2:00 PM She Loves Me Angus Bowmer Theatre | Apr. 21-Oct. 30
A love letter to the American Musical... based ont he play that also inspired the film You've Got Mail. This effervescent romance will sing its way into your heart. (Mature themes. Recommended ages 10 and up)

2:00 PM Ruined New Theatre | Mar. 24-Oct. 31
Lynn Nottage's 2009 Pulitzer Prize-winning tribute to the resilience of women amidst a brutal civil war. (Strong language, mature themes. Recommended ages 14 and up)

8:30 PM Ruined New Theatre | Mar. 24-Oct. 31
Lynn Nottage's 2009 Pulitzer Prize-winning tribute to the resilience of women amidst a brutal civil war. (Strong language, mature themes. Recommended ages 14 and up)

8:30 PM Henry IV, Part One Elizabethan Stage | Jun. 2-Oct. 9
His father's throne is threatened, but Prince Hal is having too much fun with a crowd of lowlifes. Is he fit for a crown? (Mature themes. Recommended ages 10 and up)

Tuesday, Jul. 20, 2010

2:00 PM American Night New Theatre | Jun. 29-Oct. 31
As Juan José studies for his citizenship exam, his obsession to pass takes him on a fatastical odyssey. This production premieres OSF's highly anticipated U.S. history cycle, American Revolutions. (Mild profanity, violence. Recommended ages 12 and up)

8:30 PM Pride and Prejudice Angus Bowmer Theatre | Feb. 21-Oct. 31
Mrs. Bennet will stop at nothing to obtain advantageous matches for her five middle-class daughters. Jane Austen's beloved classic sparkles in this fresh period adaptation. (Complex language. Recommended ages 10 and up.)

8:30 PM The Merchant of Venice Elizabethan Stage | Jun. 3-Oct. 10
A merchant and a money lender come to blows over an unpaid loan, but Shakespeare's comedy is really about much deeper matters. (Complex themes. Recommended ages 10 and up)

Wednesday, Jul. 21, 2010

2:00 PM American Night New Theatre | Jun. 29-Oct. 31
As Juan José studies for his citizenship exam, his obsession to pass takes him on a fatastical odyssey. This production premieres OSF's highly anticipated U.S. history cycle, American Revolutions. (Mild profanity, violence. Recommended ages 12 and up)

2:00 PM Hamlet Angus Bomwer Theatre | Feb. 19-Oct. 30
Something is rotten in Denmark... the king is dead and Prince Hamlet is charged by his father's ghost to avenge his death. OSF's first production in a decade of Shakespeare's psychologically rich masterpiece. (Mature themes. Recommended ages 12 and up)

8:30 PM Twelfth Night Elizabethan Stage | Jun. 1-Oct. 8
Our 75th anniversary production of Shakespeare's treasured comedy - the play that launched OSF in 1935. (Recommended ages 6 and up)

8:30 PM Throne of Blood Angus Bowmer Theatre | Jul. 21-Oct. 31
An epic theatre event not to be missed... the first-ever stage adaptation of Akira Kurosawa's film masterpiece. (Mature themes. Recommended ages 13 and up.)

Thursday, Jul. 22, 2010

2:00 PM American Night New Theatre | Jun. 29-Oct. 31
As Juan José studies for his citizenship exam, his obsession to pass takes him on a fatastical odyssey. This production premieres OSF's highly anticipated U.S. history cycle, American Revolutions. (Mild profanity, violence. Recommended ages 12 and up)

8:30 PM Ruined New Theatre | Mar. 24-Oct. 31
Lynn Nottage's 2009 Pulitzer Prize-winning tribute to the resilience of women amidst a brutal civil war. (Strong language, mature themes. Recommended ages 14 and up)

8:30 PM She Loves Me Angus Bowmer Theatre | Apr. 21-Oct. 30
A love letter to the American Musical... based ont he play that also inspired the film You've Got Mail. This effervescent romance will sing its way into your heart. (Mature themes. Recommended ages 10 and up)
COLIN AND I WILL BE ATTENDING THIS PLAY!

8:30 PM Henry IV, Part One Elizabethan Stage | Jun. 2-Oct. 9
His father's throne is threatened, but Prince Hal is having too much fun with a crowd of lowlifes. Is he fit for a crown? (Mature themes. Recommended ages 10 and up)

Friday, Jul. 23, 2010

2:00 PM Throne of Blood Angus Bowmer Theatre | Jul. 21-Oct. 31
An epic theatre event not to be missed... the first-ever stage adaptation of Akira Kurosawa's film masterpiece. (Mature themes. Recommended ages 13 and up.)

2:00 PM American Night New Theatre | Jun. 29-Oct. 31
As Juan José studies for his citizenship exam, his obsession to pass takes him on a fatastical odyssey. This production premieres OSF's highly anticipated U.S. history cycle, American Revolutions. (Mild profanity, violence. Recommended ages 12 and up)

8:30 PM Pride and Prejudice Angus Bowmer Theatre | Feb. 21-Oct. 31
Mrs. Bennet will stop at nothing to obtain advantageous matches for her five middle-class daughters. Jane Austen's beloved classic sparkles in this fresh period adaptation. (Complex language. Recommended ages 10 and up.)

8:30 PM The Merchant of Venice Elizabethan Stage | Jun. 3-Oct. 10
A merchant and a money lender come to blows over an unpaid loan, but Shakespeare's comedy is really about much deeper matters. (Complex themes. Recommended ages 10 and up)

Sunday 7/25/10 4:15 pm

Hellgate Jetboat Excursion

A 4-hour, 36-mile round trip thru Hellgate Canyon stopping down river at the OK Corral, an old homestead, for an all-you-can-eat country banquet.

Departing daily, our afternoon “Country Banquet” dinner cruise also brings rave reviews. This 4-hour excursion whisks you down the Rogue to Hellgate Canyon and on the return trip stops at the O.K. Corral for a dinner you’ll not soon forget. First, we’ll begin with the Relish Tray, then Tossed Green Salad with our famous homemade Honey-Mustard Dressing. Piping hot homemade Corn Bread and Ranch-Hand Biscuits accompany our own country-style Barbecued Ribs and Chicken, plus Fresh Vegetables and Ranch Potatoes. Topped off with Dessert and accompanied by Beer, Wine, Iced Tea, Lemonade, Coffee and Hot Tea, soon you’ll be crying “Enough!” And if that’s not enough, some uninvited guests – black tail deer, may very well join you. This trip is a feast for the eyes and the appetite. Vegetarian meal available with 24-hour notice. Gratuity not included.

Prices:
Adult: $57.50
Child: $39.50 (ages 4-11)
Infant: Complimentary (ages 3 & under)

Group Rates are available if there are 25 or more people interested in coming on this trip with us!

Monday 7/26-Friday 7-30 - LAS VEGAS!

Testing phone post

Weddings

I'll tell you what, planning a wedding is really fun. I'm behind though. I wanted to send out all the invitations this weekend but I changed my mind at the last minute and decided that I'm just going to buy my own paper and make my own instead of buying the ones I found online because it was going to be like 250 dollars and that is ridiculous especially considering I only spent 137 dollars on my dress.

I spent a good portion of the weekend looking at orange shoes to match my dress. The dress has orange poppies on it! I'm such a lucky girl.

I think I'm going to look locally before buying online though. I have some time for shoes. I really need to focus on the invitations because people have to make travel plans. I'm going to change the layout of the page too so that it has wedding info on it for people. I was going to make a whole new page but then I thought, that's stupid, I'm not doing anything with this blog. I might as well put info on it for people for the wedding.

So far, the plan is this:

07/17-7/23. Get the house ready and decorated. This includes:

Guest stuff: extra towels, extra beds, extra food

Rental Stuff: tables, chairs, linens, probably all the dishware unless I can steal the plates that my brother has in abundance left over from his wedding 13 years ago. In which case I'll only need a few plates and the flatware and glasses.

Lights:I'm not sure if I will rent lights or buy lights. My brother also has a bunch of tiki light things which I'll steal but I want some hanging lights also. It might be nice to have them for parties and things. All my parties I'm going to have.

Cleaning up the yard: Fountain, weeds lawn, side yards, dog poop.

Inside: just general cleaning and decorating.

Get married: Colin and I are going to go to the courthouse this week to do the actual marriage so we technically will already be married at the wedding. This will make it easier so we don't have to worry about someone officiating and everything. Also, cheaper!

Jet Boat excursion and Shakespeare Festival:I'm hoping some people will come earlier and maybe we can hang out a little or I can put them to work weeding and making things pretty. I'm going to recommend that visitors come the week before and go see She Loves Me at the Shakespeare Festival with Colin and I and I'm going to try to get a group together to go on the jet boat excursion. I've always wanted to do it and it would be fun to go with some people. I'll post all the info on the side bar here of those activities and other things to do that week. The following week colin and I will be in Las Vegas and we totally invite and approve of anyone wanting to tag along for the trip also. It would be fun to have people around who we know that we could have dinner with and see shows and things.

Colin and I did a lot of work this weekend. He made some book shelves and we mowed and weed wacked the lawn (Weed whacking is the best most fun thing ever but my arms are tired). We also got some Buffy viewing in. I'm watching all the seasons on netflix streaming because I've only seen a few episodes and it was one of those shows I knew I would want to watch in its entirety at some point. So great for me, netflix has it all on watch instantly! We are on season three. It is really fun.

I also got to do some painting and stencilling experiments. Now that I have my own house it is fun to think of projects. I'm painting and stencilling some boards to put hooks on for our hallway so we have a place to hang coats and things. I have some video of a tour of my house that I'll put up here too hopefully later today.

I am so funny

Reading old posts of my blog I never write anymore makes me realize something about myself. I am so funny.

Seriously. Facebook is so gay. People should be forced to write long long things about their lives and whatnots so that they can really realize how unfunny or funny they are, like I realized about myself, just now.

The olympics are gay enough without adding winter in them although it is nice that the ladies who do the curling wear skirts so Colin can "See their beavers." He'll deny he said that but I know he did.

Harry Potter is on TV right now. We are having an arguement about where it was filmed. I keep saying England and then The UK and they keep saying new zealand. FuckingA I hate being right all the time. "Will you stop posting everything we talk about?" says colin and then he reads that and says "You're terrible Mandy... Wedding's off" and then my dad says "Is Married with Children the best show ever?" and I say "Yes!" and he says, "you shut up, you liar."

Good times.

Anyway, Colin and I are engaged to be married. I need to write more because I am a genius. PLEASE ENCOURAGE ME TO WRITE MORE BECAUSE I AM A GENIUS!!! HOW COME NOONE TELLS ME TO WRITE MORE??????

stupid blogs are stupid

What a waste of space this whole blog is!!!!

For Future Mandy:

Living in the sterling creek place still
Muscles and Ginger are good pets
Colin is still very cute and is singing all this morning and last evening about ground control to major tom and also about arkan-sass.
Work is going forward with EMR and other "Codeword" changes. Things I can't really talk about in a public forum but which Future Mandy will understand. Hint Hint.
I like all my worky people right now, for the most part. Which is good. Getting good people hired and bad people fired.
Work has double and tripled in complexity and actual work so it is hard to even think about doing anything else.
Still moving forward with the insulin pump. It is between the Omnipod, which has no tubing, and the minimed, which does. My endo does not want the omnipod but I kind of do. Now I almost just want to get it to be contrary to him. Did I mention that I hate doctors? They are awful awful people.
I went camping last weekend with Mike and Andy and Colin and Andy's sort of girlfriend person Alise, whom I liked very much and then Mike's sort of love interest joined us with her daughter who was 3 and adorable.
Marya and Alex are having SUPREME marital difficulties and they will most likely divorce in the coming months. There has been a lot of drama associated with that which I will not go into here.
We've had a couple of people interested in the house in the last couple days and the plan is still to sell Colin's place and then have me buy a place in Medford and then probably get married.
I got the gmail address "amandarosemay@gmail.com" in preparation for name changes in the coming year or so.
Colin and I have also talked a little about kids and my move to wanting the insulin pump is partially motivated by wanting to get my blood sugars to a good pre-conception level.
My last a1c was 7.3 and I really need to get down below 7.
Other than that my days are filled with going to work, coming home, eating dinner with Colin, watching movies or TV dvds, playing Harvest Moon:Tree of Tranquility, doing crossword puzzles, and farting around on the facebooks for hours.

There, update finished!

5th of July Fever

Yesterday was eventful. I did a ton of mobile uploads to my facebook page. Here's a link:

Ashland Fourth of July Parade

By the way, I'm fairly active now on facebook, more so than here, obviously. So if you read this but you aren't my facebook friend already, friend me for chrissakes. Jeez.

I took some other pictures with my real camera but I can't find my cable to upload my pictures. It is around here somewhere.

Colin and I have been up at his house now for 4 months and we never really unpacked anything because we really really want to move. This makes finding things difficult sometimes. We spend an inordinate time asking each other where something is. Nothing really has a home since we don't want to spend the time organizing rooms and things since we just really want to move.

I'm not sure if I said anything here but Colin got a job for Josephine County so it is possible that we may be able to look into moving into town again, which would be great. We just have satellite internet up at his house in the deep woods, no cell reception, and the internet is spotty as it is. It doesn't like gmail so I can rarely send emails. Sometimes I can receive them but sending them out is more difficult. It makes keeping in touch with the rest of the world difficult.

Hopefully in the very near future, before november 30th so I can qualify for the tax credit, I'm going to try to buy a home in Medford. We've been looking at some places around where I work and there are some decent affordable places within walking distance. I'm really hoping it will work out before the end of the year! Hopefully Colin will be able to sell his place.

If anyone knows anyone who wants to live in a nice quiet rural area, with 6 acres that feels like you are out camping every time you walk out of the house, with beautiful views, let me know. Someone who doesn't care about super fast internet speeds, preferably, and who doesn't need to drive a lot.

CrackBerry (buttocks)

Dear the world,

Today I upgraded to a Blackberry. It is this one:



I'm so excited! Colin got the red manly one so I thought I should get the pink lady one so that we don't get our phones mixed up. It is going to rule so much. I get it tomorrow.

Also tomorrow Colin and I are going to go out to Dinner at Bella Union because someone from work gave me a $50 gift card! I'm pretty excited about that. It is a tasty tasty place in Jacksonville which is the cutesy town I sort of live near now.

AND, in Jacksonville on 7/16/09 at the Britt Festival I get to go see Andrew Bird! I can't wait! We're going to sit in the fancy seats. The Britt Festival is this really beautiful amphitheater and there are reserved bench seats, reserved blanket seats and then just free for all seats way far away from the stage. I've gotten to sit in the reserved blanket seats before but I've never splurged for the front reserved bench seats. I'm pretty excited about being able to actually see and hear the people for once.

This weekend we're going to go down to Yrethra and Colin will hopefully get some more work done on the built-in bookshelves he is building and installing for my mom. What a great boyfriend!

I'm off to the pharmacy now, as I still have the diabetes and I need to get some more insulin. Then I'm making the long trip home and eating top ramen for dinner. What a great day!

I know, right?

So I'm going to try to start blogging again. I think it is about time. I was going to start but then I got scared because of an incident at work where a random blogger on blogspot mentioned my place of business in a sort of nasty blog post and someone did a search, found it, it got back to the administrator here, by boss, who put me in charge of trying to find out more about the situation she was talking about. I did, but then it made me worried to think that it could have been me. So rule number one about my blog is NO TALKING ABOUT MY JOB.

Also, the boyfriend Colin, who I've been dating for almost a year now, is a very private person and doesn't really want me to go on and on about our relationship here so rule number two about my blog is DON'T EMBARRASS COLIN OR TALK ABOUT THINGS HE WANTS TO KEEP PRIVATE.

That doesn't leave a lot for me to talk about but I decided I need more in my life than boyfriend and work. I am a well rounded lady with many interests. There's got to be something to talk about.

Like movies!

I saw Terminator on Saturday and it was mostly MEH especially compared with Star Trek, which I loved. I think the coolest part was when the CG Ahnold came back. Also when christian bale had that freakout. I wish they HAD filmed that and put in in the movie at the end over the credits. That would have been freaking awesome.

We've been watching HBO's Rome series too. I watched some episodes a while back but I'm watching the whole thing from beginning to end now and it kind of rules. Pullo is the best character ever maybe.

Colin and I are thinking about going to Las Vegas over the 4th of july holiday for my birthday. I'm so excited! I've never been there but it will be sad to miss the fourth in Ashland. We'll see.

Have A Scary Chanukkah!

Hi. You know, sometimes with all this holiday hustle and bustle, it can be easy to forget the true meaning of Halloween. We observe Halloween to celebrate the birth of Christ. And in celebration of his birth, many traditions have been handed down through the years.

The hiding of the eggs.

The annual pilgrimage to Mecca.

Halloween is a day to bring your daughter to work.

Or your secretary.

And it's the biggest shopping day of the year!

But most of all, Halloween is a time for young people to gather together spreading holiday cheer by lighting bags of their own crap on fire, ringing the doorbell, and running away. So America, Happy Halloween, or as we like to call it, Chanukah.

Have a scary Chanukah!

Is the erection over yet?

I really want that glasses lady to be president. She is one hot piece of mutha, you know what I'm sayin'?

Also, I watched the 1/2 hour obamathon on wednesday and I had this to say about it after about 10 minutes. "I give this a big thumbs down so far!" But I warmed up near the end. It was vague and mostly stupid and not aimed at people like me who are going to vote for him anyway. I heard on NPR that 10% of the population still don't know who they are going to vote for.

I didn't know that the were that many retarded people in America over the age of 18 who were eligible to vote! If I were the caretaker of one of those 10% of mentally handicapped people I would just say "Chocolate or Vanilla, Barry? Which one do you like better?" And then have them pull the chocolate lever. I think mentally handicapped people like chocolate more than vanilla, generally speaking. In my experience.

And they are all named Barry.

I've been at this new manager job of mine for 5 months now and I've learned only one thing that will take me through to my death bed.

Managing people = Managing Poop.

It is really hard. I was always a really easy employee. I never complained, I would always fill in, I'm great in short. I'm really surprised at how much attention some people need! I don't mind giving them attention but I just never knew that some people were like this at work. It is really hard work.

I moved! I have a really nice big place now in Talent which is closer to work and it comes with a dog, a cat and a boyfriend.

Am I saying that Colin and I moved in together after only knowing each other for two months? Yes. That is what I am saying.

I watched Burn After Reading last night. I liked it. There was not one single redeemable character in the whole movie. They were all awful awful people. Horrible people. It was entertaining from the beginning to the end.

You are a booger face.

Fall is almost here! The Atumnal Equinox is fast approaching. I love fall best but you know what I hate most? Daylight Savings. I hate it! That won't be for a while though.

B.A. Baracus for President, Fool!

1 Month

Today is the one month anniversary of when Colin and I had our first date!

I just wanted to check in and say that everything is going along swimmingly. I feel like I am neglecting my friends and my family but it is totally worth it, suckers. Suckas!

My job has been mighty stressful lately so I think that even if I hadn't met Colin I probably still wouldn't be writing much.

Guess what? Colin and I are going to see Wilco play in Bend this weekend! I'm so excited.

Guess what else? Colin and I are disgustingly happy. If I saw Colin and I on the street together being all mushy and disgustingly happy I'd throw garbage at us.

Guess what else? I've been playing the newish Legend of Zelda game on Colin's weeeeeeewii and it rules.

Guess what else? I got a pretty big raise at work last month. I'm so lucky!

Guess what else? That's all.

Mandy Mandy Mandy

Amanda,

Hey there. Remember when it was the year 2008? And you stopped writing in your blog very much? Don't you regret that so much? Don't you wish you had taken more time to document what was going on in your life? Don't you wish that missiles would rain down from the heavens and kill everyone who has done you wrong?

Remember that movie Reign of Fire with Christian Bale and Tony the Tiger? I mean, Russell Defoe? I mean, Matthew Mcconaughey. With the dragons and the fire? That movie sucked so bad. I loved it.

Justin sent me a link about Christian Bale being arrested for beating up his mom and his sister. I'm glad I don't love him as much as I used to in my youth and childhood.

Also, I officially have a boyfriend. Not like how I say things like, "Oh my god, I love the guy who works in the coffee shop, he is totally my boyfriend!" Or "My boyfriend Christian Bale and I were talking the other day about how much his mom and sister need a good punch in the face..." This is a serious significant other type boyfriend. Like when he meets Angelina and Casey tonight when we eat dinner at the hospital cafeteria I will introduce him to them as "My boyfriend, Colin." It is totally serious for real for reals.

Now I can finally feel what it is like to have a man complete me, like a real lady instead of the sad and pathetic single girl lost in a sea of confusion like I have been.

I already miss being single.

Remember how great it was when all I had to do was pay attention to myself? How do you married people and people with kids DO this stuff?

Full frontal disclosure

So I went on match.com. I know, right? Who would have ever thought that Mandy would do such a thing. But I did. Not only that, but I met someone! In real life! I know this will probably illicit a bunch of curious comments but I just wanted to get it down in here in a post because I've been posting so much less frequently and the thing I like most of all about this thing is that I can go back in time and see what I was up to. So for Future-Mandy, this month and year, July of 2008, I met a guy named Colin who is probably the coolest person ever.

I also made it to my first 90 days in my very fancy grown-up job! Which means I can't call it my new job anymore and I can't use it as an excuse for not writing as much.

If you want to watch my nephew kill his first dinosaur click here:
small boy kills first dinosaur. robot monsters next

My brother and jack are so weird.

My dad got an RV/camper/trailer. And apparently he has a gift for me that I am looking forward to getting sometime.

Justin and Alicia are having a baby girl! Justin said that he was going to name her "Clementine Josephine Roses Amanda Byrne" I hope that Alicia is okay with that name because I've already engraved many gifts with her monogram.

That's it, fuckbuckets. That will just have to be enough for now.

My new camera gave me herpes.

I'm so great.

Seattle's Worst

First I went to Bremerton and slept and then I went to seattle on the ferry and then I saw a baseball game. The Mariners lost. And why not the big sea-man for a mascot instead of a moose? Why? Like the guy up top, for example.

The Mariners lost but I really got to know Ichiro intimately and I think it is going to work out for us. And My aunty Tooney wants me to name my first born son Yuniesky after a baseball player named Yuniesky. But I am not going to have children, so fuck her.

Then we, my aunty and my cousins Bucky and Maggie and their significant others Zach and Krista, we all went to pioneer square and drank beer and I had a dirty martini and it was a b-last!

And other things happened that I'll tell the tale of later because I'm too tired of typing right now.

It was the best 30th birthday ever!!!! Although I did get pulled over by a dirty copper just after midnight so I guess that wasn't my 30th birthday anymore. But I didn't get a ticket or anything. And yesterday I bought a brand new fancy camera that I looooove and I'll post some really really great pictures once I get them on my 'puter. Here is a taste of the fun times to come when that happens.






You've got to stop being such a dick.

30!!!

Thirty!!!!

Squirty Squirty.

Everything in my life has changed and I blame you and I miss this blog and also it is real real smokey in the outside. Are you following me Camera Guy

The whole reason I'm even writing this now is because I want one of those sham-wow things from the TV and I need to let the world know. Mayhaps I can find the ad on youtube. Mayhaps.

Ah yes.



First off, I want to marry that guy. I want to marry him and have his kids and take family fotos with all of us wearing microphones on our heads just like his.

Also, the part about the Germans. Golden.

Beware of shamwow imitators.

What've I been all up to. Jesus, I don't know. Stop asking me dumb questions.

I'm working all day and all night. Today I dyed my hair. It was really smokey outside all day. It still is but now it is dark and it is hard to see the smoke but you can smell it and it gets in your eyes. As the song goes. It is funny to try to air out your stinky small apartment after dying your hair only to have your apartment fill with smoke and then you just have an apartment filled with hair dye smell and smoke and then you pass out for a little bit and have some very wild and crazy dreams about Black on Black Crime. Ya'll can't blame me for hip hop.

I watched a lot of tv today. It was a day like any other day.

My lesbian wedding is next week! Remember when I had my big competition for who would be my date to the lesbian wedding? Well, no one entered that competition. Not a single person. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, folks. fucks, is what I mean to say. Anyway, I have a big itinerary. Firstly, I leave on the fourth or the fifth or something and drive the long hours to the Seattle area of Washington STATE. Then I turn 30 years BOLD on the 6th. Then the dyke wedding. At some point I'm watching the Mariners play baseball and also some star trek episodes at my aunt's house. Then I'm just kind of hanging around I guess. Then I'm driving back home and cleaning up the storm of shit that is liable to be all over my desk at work. It is nice to feel needed though.

Please leave me a comment if you read this. The reason is, I want to see if anyone is still reading this after I've not written anything for so long. I doubt it.

Have a happy fourth of Jews Lie.

*updated at 2241*

OH man, you gotta read this guy's wikipedia page. Oh man:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shamwow

Vice Offer. What a name.

If I was a defense lawyer I would always argue that my clients lack motive and opportunity because of their welfare queen mother's poor upbringing, their own personal laziness, and because they were raised before george w bush wouldn't allow them to be left behind like the lucky kids of today. This way, all the redneck dicks would let them off. I'd be the best defense lawyer ever!

I watched Black Snake Moan last night. I just don't know WHAT to think anymore! It was good, I guess. And it had Justin Timberlake in it and then last night I had a dream that I was hanging out with Justin Timberlake because I was like his neighbor or something and he was playing some music that was blowing my mind and just being generally really cool and I said, "Justin, you are the coolest friend I've ever had in my whole life." And he said "That's great for you. We should hang out more often." And he said it in a way that made me understand that he didn't really think of us as "friends" but more as "neighbors" and "acquaintances." Fuck you, JT!

I also had a dream that somehow I got framed and everyone thought I was a big pothead and I was working for both Hilary Clinton AND Barak Obama's campaigns and there was a big controversy over it but since it was a black mark on both of their campaigns it all came out a wash. But I felt really really bad and was crying to Hilary saying "I let you down! I'm so sorry I let you down! I let my nation down!" Also bob dole was there and it was at the beach and I had a package of hotdogs in my hands that I hated for some reason.

I'm pretty sure that this dream was because I forgot to drop my ballot of at the polling station for the oregon primaries last week. I let my nation down and I had voted for Obama so I had also let Hilary down even though it didn't really count since I didn't actually vote for Obama because I let my nation down by not sending my ballot in. I've said it before but it bears repeating. Democracy totally stresses me out! I like it when my dreams are so easy to analyze, however. Except for the hotdogs part. Oh wait, I know what that means too.

Cause at least I know I'm free

And I'll proudly stand UP!

Do you know that song? I'm proud to be an american. I was just singing it because I have a funny secret. Sometimes I think it is totally great and endlessly amusing that I have diabetes. This morning I woke up and got out of bed and then sat on my couch, which is my favorite thing to do especially on a sunday morning. But there was a needle on my couch. And I remember all the times I was kind of embarrassed when someone would be visiting and there would just be needles around or streaks of blood near my computer at work because I tested my blood sugar and didn't wait for my finger to stop bleeding before I went back to work. But I'll tell you something. I'm not always embarrassed. Sometimes I think it is totally badass and it rocks and it rules and it automatically makes me feel tuff and better than other people.

I love myself!

Anyway, my aunty made me write something by making me feel guilty. And angelina made me feel guilty and other people who left comments about not reading anything on my blog. Whatever, all you bitches and hos.

I saw Iron Man yesterday. I liked it a lot but I have to tell you it wasn't as great as I had been led to believe that it would be. For instance, Transformers last summer was better. But it was pretty good. And any kind of America where Robert Downey Jr. plays a superhero is one that I am proud to a citizen of. And I'll proudly stand UP.

I'm tired. 7:30 in the morning is too early to write a blog.

Here are the things I have to say, hey hey.

I put up a boooootload of pictures from my grandmother's 90th birthday celebration and the preperation of said celebration. They are on my flickr page:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/diapantsies/

It was a heap of fun.

Right now I am watching a very serious program called "Nazi Scrapbooks From Hell" If I knew that all those scrapbooking parties I've been invited to over the years could be THIS fun I would have joined one a long time ago.

My new job is great and I love it but it does not give me very much time or leave me with very much energy to write. This will hopefully change as I get better. Wearing important business lady clothes and heals every day, working long hours, thinking ALL DAY LONG, and then trying to go for walks after work, all of these things leave me dead by the end of the day and usually asleep on my couch before I can even enjoy my favorite television programs that I can now watch because I don't work evenings anymore.

Everything is fine right now though. Don't worry about me, sweetcheeks.

Disco Dancing

Everybody Loves Disco Dancing

P.S.

I.O.U. One big long-ass blog post. I took another job. I am a fancy business lady. I'm too busy for blogs. I wear high heals and suits. Well, I might at least. I'm very important. You'll need to take that into consideration .

BIRTHDAYS - FUCK!

Happy birthday yesterday to dirty thirty squirty squirty thunder-ants Marigold who is SO OLD!

Here we are earlier this month as BFF's with some rotten kid that kept getting in my way:



And Happy Birthday today to my Oldest of Old Old brothers!



Myles, you are SOOOOOO OLD. You disgust me. Toilet fucker.

My life and times have been totally butchered and poisoned with arsenic by old-timey serial killers, including women.

I read every single wikipedia page about female serial killers. There were some doooozies. I guess the ladies like arsenic best for the killing. Does the job. Gets the job done. And how.

I don't think this fleeting fascination is indicative of anything. But they always say that.

I've been playing Civilization IV again. A Lot.

I'm reading a good book. That's why I started reading about female serial killers. It is called Devil in the White City and it is about H.H. Holmes and the Chicago World's Fair and other things. I recommend it.

Easter was Eastery.

Jesus rose from the dead.

My brother's birthday is the day after tomorrow and Marigold's is tomorrow. I haven't done anything for either of them.

My parent's neighbor Wayne Fiorucci died. Unexpectedly and too young. They went to his funeral this morning.

My grandma's knee is blown up like a melon and she has to have all sorts of medical things done to her. But she still doesn't have diabetes so I'm not quite sure what she has, truly, to complain about so much. Jesus.

I am cold and distant.

The back of a retard? Or not? A MYSTERY

Today at hospital job I was walking behind a slow sort of waddling white haired man down by the cafeteria. I thought maybe he was a retard. He had the build. He was lumbering. He had a square head. He was disheveled. His pants were too short. He had on retard shoes. They were all black tennis shoes with thick soles like the ones that a worker at McDonald's might wear. A retarded McDonald's worker. He had a big plastic bag of food that had two 20 oz Diet Dr Peppers and a bunch of other crap in it. I thought, "That kind of looks like the food a retard would choose." But then I had to wonder. Diet? I mean, Diet Dr. Pepper does taste a lot like regular Dr. Pepper but I found it perplexing that a retard might buy Diet. He was portly and squat and so the diet choice was warranted. For some reason I have an idea of retarded people, especially men, as being gluttonous. Or at least unashamed of being seen in public with a bunch of crappy food if they are overweight.

I never got a look at his face so we'll never know. Maybe retards do like Diet Dr. Pepper. Maybe he was just a normal old man who happened to look a little retarded from the back. IT IS A MYSTERY FOR THE AGES.

His neck was definitely down-syndromy. And his jowels. From the back, at least. This will keep me up tonight.

I feel happy today.

BEWARE

BEWAREBEWAREBEWARE BEWAREB BEWARE BEWARE
BEWARE E E E E
BEWARE W W W W
BEWARE A A AWARE A
BEWARE R R R R
BEWARE E E E E
BEWAREBEWAREBEWARE BEWARE BEWARE BEWARE

Happy birthday tomorrow, popso.

Today I watched a movie about Sylvia Plath. It reminded about how much my daddy was like hers:

I have always been scared of you,
With your Luftwaffe, your gobbledygoo.
And your neat mustache
And your Aryan eye, bright blue.
Panzer-man, panzer-man, O You--

Not God but a swastika
So black no sky could squeak through.
Every woman adores a Fascist,
The boot in the face, the brute
Brute heart of a brute like you.

Just kidding, America.

(but my dad really is a Nazi and I really am a Jew)

Maybe good news.

http://www.dlife.com/diabetes-news/2008/03/mgh_initiates_phase_i_diabetes.html

Normally I don't get excited about this stuff. Most type 1 diabetics who've been diabetic for many years learn at some point that thinking about a cure in your lifetime doesn't really help with your day to day management. If you just accept that this is the way that your life is then I think it is easier to accept that you have to do all the shit you have to do. Every so often some news of a cure comes out. This one actually seems promising.

A certain number, like a big number, of reasons why Tao Lin is a Piece of Shit. Like a big fat Turd. Toilet droppings.

http://reader-of-depressing-books.blogspot.com/2008/03/promote-my-career-for-me.html

Promote my career for me, I'm a big fat douche bag.

Reason #Most Important: Asian. Gaysian, more likely. Asian Asian Asian. My sister recently confided in me and said that she is racist against Asians. We figured out that she is mostly just racist against the Chinese. Blech.

Extra reasons, as if you needed any:

2. Vegan or something. And TALKS about it. Incesssssantly. Ugh.

3. Sucks.

4. Is a Maniac.

I've only read his blog and his book EEEEEEEEEeeeeeee EEeeeeeEEEeee EeeeeEEEe. I read it for a creative writing class. It was forced upon me like I was being sexually abused by an Asian Vegan. It was okay. I liked the animals and the pizza delivery systems. This is what I wrote about it at the time in a response for my stupid teacher and his stupid class:

I Am Responding to Eeeee Eee Eeee. I had to count the e's. I don't know if that is important or not. I have become a little bit obsessed with Tao Lin since you made us read this book. I now read his blog all the time and I even started to read your blog after I read parts of his blog because his blog links to your blog. I've also started to read other blogs that I didn't before. I even started to comment on Tao Lin's blog and read interviews with Tao Lin, which is way further than I'd intended to go. I don't really think I'd like him much as a person because I don't really like earnest people. I think he would be offended too, if I called him earnest. But I get the heebie jeebies when I read earnest things or think about writing earnest things.

What kind of world is this that it now makes a difference whether or not I would like an author as a person? I don't know if we are better off now or worse off now that a lot of authors have blogs. I guess if they just blog fiction and don't blog about stuff they did or do then it isn't really any different but when they tell me about their wives or boyfriends or menstruation or eating habits then I'm forced to consider whether or not I like them or not. I have to say this might change my opinion about whether or not it is good to read extra stuff about authors to better understand their work. I always liked to before. Maybe now, that it has become so easy and so accessible, either with personal blogs or wikipedia or books by ex-wives like the one Charles Schulz's wife just put out, maybe now I should try to stop that habit or at least not take it so far.

About Eeeee Eee Eeee though, I liked it. I thought it was repetitive but in a difficult kind of rewarding way, not in an annoying way but rather like a joke that is repeated three times. You cross a line and then you keep crossing it until it is funny again. Mostly that's how I felt about Eeeee Eee Eeee. Although just typing that title right now for the third time wasn't funny. It was kind of hard. No one would write a long essay about Tao Lin and his novel if they had to type Eeeee Eee Eeee over and over again, especially if they had to underline or italicize it each time too. That would stop a lot of would be explicators.

I want to talk a little bit about the bear. The whole book reminded me of the movie Donnie Darko. This is a great movie but it is the quintessential emo type of movie and I mean that in a derisive way. For example, when I read a blurb on a book called "Miss Misery" in the SOU bookstore that said, "This is the emo Fight Club," I thought, "that is ridiculous." But I love the movie Donnie Darko despite its quintessential emo-ness. He has sort of imaginary things that he talks to, specifically that skeleton bunny man thing and also he has some weird thing come out of his stomach that tells him what to do or represents predetermination or something and it looks like the bad terminator in Terminator 2 or 3, I forget which one. So I think this bear, and the dolphins and stuff are just kind of like the bunny skeleton man named Frank. I read that Frank is aware of the future and destiny of Donnie Darko. Perhaps the bear and the dolphins and hamsters are like totems and guides.

Perhaps the bear is to Andrew what Russia was to the United States in 1984 like Ronald Reagan's ad "There is a bear in the woods. For some people the bear is easy to see. Others don't see it at all. Some people say the bear is tame. Others say it's vicious and dangerous. Since no one can really be sure who is right, isn't it smart to be as strong as the bear? If there is a bear...."

I think I am right about everything.

So fuck off. I do like assignments though. I wish people would give me more assignments.

The News. Nudes? News.

I got a new job. Wooooooooo hooooooooo. I think it is going to be pretty sweet, dudes. I get paid more, I get more hours and I work regular hours. I think I'm gonna like it, queers.

I don't care about Bret Favre. I thought he died of football 8 years ago.

I don't care about Marion Jones going to jail. If I was her cellmate, however, I'd say "Not much room to run away in here, is there, bitch?" And then I'd ask her if she'd like to play some cribbage or gab about boys.

I like the new Russian puppresident's name. I said it aloud in my care probably, oh I don't know, 15 times today.

I think I'm really going to like Hulu.com. For instance, you can watch all the Arrested Development episodes forever and ever. I watched this just now: http://www.hulu.com/watch/589/arrested-development-pilot. You do have to watch commercials but at least I didn't spend a million dollars buying the DVDs. There are a shit load of shows to watch too. So go to town, mindless droves.

I got a new job.

I forgot my picture camera thingy pluggy wugg so no new pictures yet.

Tomorrow, most likely as not.

Or not.

Don't harsh my buzz so much.

Tomorrow I have to go to Cancer School. We're learning how to take care of the cancer we're going to get. And there's going to be a guest speaker.

Patrick Swayze.