A certain number, like a big number, of reasons why Tao Lin is a Piece of Shit. Like a big fat Turd. Toilet droppings.

http://reader-of-depressing-books.blogspot.com/2008/03/promote-my-career-for-me.html

Promote my career for me, I'm a big fat douche bag.

Reason #Most Important: Asian. Gaysian, more likely. Asian Asian Asian. My sister recently confided in me and said that she is racist against Asians. We figured out that she is mostly just racist against the Chinese. Blech.

Extra reasons, as if you needed any:

2. Vegan or something. And TALKS about it. Incesssssantly. Ugh.

3. Sucks.

4. Is a Maniac.

I've only read his blog and his book EEEEEEEEEeeeeeee EEeeeeeEEEeee EeeeeEEEe. I read it for a creative writing class. It was forced upon me like I was being sexually abused by an Asian Vegan. It was okay. I liked the animals and the pizza delivery systems. This is what I wrote about it at the time in a response for my stupid teacher and his stupid class:

I Am Responding to Eeeee Eee Eeee. I had to count the e's. I don't know if that is important or not. I have become a little bit obsessed with Tao Lin since you made us read this book. I now read his blog all the time and I even started to read your blog after I read parts of his blog because his blog links to your blog. I've also started to read other blogs that I didn't before. I even started to comment on Tao Lin's blog and read interviews with Tao Lin, which is way further than I'd intended to go. I don't really think I'd like him much as a person because I don't really like earnest people. I think he would be offended too, if I called him earnest. But I get the heebie jeebies when I read earnest things or think about writing earnest things.

What kind of world is this that it now makes a difference whether or not I would like an author as a person? I don't know if we are better off now or worse off now that a lot of authors have blogs. I guess if they just blog fiction and don't blog about stuff they did or do then it isn't really any different but when they tell me about their wives or boyfriends or menstruation or eating habits then I'm forced to consider whether or not I like them or not. I have to say this might change my opinion about whether or not it is good to read extra stuff about authors to better understand their work. I always liked to before. Maybe now, that it has become so easy and so accessible, either with personal blogs or wikipedia or books by ex-wives like the one Charles Schulz's wife just put out, maybe now I should try to stop that habit or at least not take it so far.

About Eeeee Eee Eeee though, I liked it. I thought it was repetitive but in a difficult kind of rewarding way, not in an annoying way but rather like a joke that is repeated three times. You cross a line and then you keep crossing it until it is funny again. Mostly that's how I felt about Eeeee Eee Eeee. Although just typing that title right now for the third time wasn't funny. It was kind of hard. No one would write a long essay about Tao Lin and his novel if they had to type Eeeee Eee Eeee over and over again, especially if they had to underline or italicize it each time too. That would stop a lot of would be explicators.

I want to talk a little bit about the bear. The whole book reminded me of the movie Donnie Darko. This is a great movie but it is the quintessential emo type of movie and I mean that in a derisive way. For example, when I read a blurb on a book called "Miss Misery" in the SOU bookstore that said, "This is the emo Fight Club," I thought, "that is ridiculous." But I love the movie Donnie Darko despite its quintessential emo-ness. He has sort of imaginary things that he talks to, specifically that skeleton bunny man thing and also he has some weird thing come out of his stomach that tells him what to do or represents predetermination or something and it looks like the bad terminator in Terminator 2 or 3, I forget which one. So I think this bear, and the dolphins and stuff are just kind of like the bunny skeleton man named Frank. I read that Frank is aware of the future and destiny of Donnie Darko. Perhaps the bear and the dolphins and hamsters are like totems and guides.

Perhaps the bear is to Andrew what Russia was to the United States in 1984 like Ronald Reagan's ad "There is a bear in the woods. For some people the bear is easy to see. Others don't see it at all. Some people say the bear is tame. Others say it's vicious and dangerous. Since no one can really be sure who is right, isn't it smart to be as strong as the bear? If there is a bear...."

I think I am right about everything.

So fuck off. I do like assignments though. I wish people would give me more assignments.