The back of a retard? Or not? A MYSTERY

Today at hospital job I was walking behind a slow sort of waddling white haired man down by the cafeteria. I thought maybe he was a retard. He had the build. He was lumbering. He had a square head. He was disheveled. His pants were too short. He had on retard shoes. They were all black tennis shoes with thick soles like the ones that a worker at McDonald's might wear. A retarded McDonald's worker. He had a big plastic bag of food that had two 20 oz Diet Dr Peppers and a bunch of other crap in it. I thought, "That kind of looks like the food a retard would choose." But then I had to wonder. Diet? I mean, Diet Dr. Pepper does taste a lot like regular Dr. Pepper but I found it perplexing that a retard might buy Diet. He was portly and squat and so the diet choice was warranted. For some reason I have an idea of retarded people, especially men, as being gluttonous. Or at least unashamed of being seen in public with a bunch of crappy food if they are overweight.

I never got a look at his face so we'll never know. Maybe retards do like Diet Dr. Pepper. Maybe he was just a normal old man who happened to look a little retarded from the back. IT IS A MYSTERY FOR THE AGES.

His neck was definitely down-syndromy. And his jowels. From the back, at least. This will keep me up tonight.

I feel happy today.