Three Bagger

This is the old three bagger trick.
You know, like when something is funny the third time around. Or when the third time is a charm.

1. Title of Something That is Differently and Cleverly Titled.

I talked to this one person who was a man and it made me feel a strong case of the uncomfies, which is a phrase I made up and want to get a trademark on. The Uncomfies (tm). I talked and talked and I said a lot of useless made up things and maybe they weren't useless to the man but to me they were just made up things. I do this all the time. Once when my brother in law was asking me questions and I was giving heavy handed opinions outside in the summertime and he said "you've thought a lot about this" and my sister said in an exasperated tone "No! She hasn't! She just talks and words come out that sound like she'd thought a lot about them!" This makes my sister frustrated, I think. Anyway, I enjoy talking.



2. The Pet Got Petted.

Rigley Field was a dog/cat who was a pet. He was petted and treated with kindness and got the ball tossed around and the yarn dangled and was fed and taken care of. They named him Rigley Field because that is the first thing I thought of like when I named my hamster Charlie Wannamaker because that was the first thing I thought of. The pet dog/cat got taken care of mostly except sometimes the man who owned him would go visit his new wife who lived in a different house. Why didn't they just move in together? No one knew.

3. What's The Plan, Stan? STEAL THE GOLDEN 'AN.' GIVE IT TO FRAN. IN THE VAN. LIFE SPAN.

When you've got something to do and you put it off and you hit the snooze button for three hours and you wake up finally because you realize there is one thing to look forward to in the day, even though this thing is so pathetic that you don't even want to mention it on your blog, the place where you say almost everything, that is the day that you think to yourself perhaps you ought to make a plan. And the only plan you can think of is that maybe later tonight, when you get off work, you'll do one of two things. You'll either get drunk, which you quite rarely do, and you have to mention the fact that you quite rarely do this on your blog so that people won't worry, OR you think maybe you'll do some origami because you bought a special origami kit thing back in September for someones birthday but kept it because you wanted to have something to do late at night when you get home from work other than get drunk because you don't want to end up an alcoholic. You should make a real plan. Like, get a career. Or try to become a real writer. Or get married and have children. Or make a podcast. Or write more songs. These are the things you should try to do.