Do they still make Sucrets? Secrets.

The secret was that I was going to surprise some of my friends while I am still stuck down here in California, USA. And I did! And it was good. I shocked the shit out of their assholes like so many shit-shocked kids at a water slide park. I shocked the shit out of their assholes like Huckleberry in Steve and Marigold's bed this morning. Suffice to say, I murdered each of them, in cold blood, and then ate all their food at the barbecue they were having. And then I leisurely read a magazine. There was a fluff piece about how great that fuck William F. Buckley was. News Flash! Just because someone was charming and smart doesn't make him some kind of great dude when he was just a big fat conservative douche-nozzle. News Flash ended.



I've had the best time ever during this trip. I've loved, I've laughed, I've come close to death, I've realized the power of my eternal spirit, I've gotten some good deals on merchandise, I've rolled with the punches, I've punched the homeless, I've been sodomized, I've sodomized. A very well rounded trip. Tomorrow I make the long trek home to Oregon and damned if I can't wait to sit around in my own filth, sleep all day, get nowhere, and continue down a path of absolute and terrifying blandness. Viva Inertia!



Soon there will be multitudinous photos up on my flickr page. Until then, enjoy this, jock-itch;