stupid blogs are stupid

What a waste of space this whole blog is!!!!

For Future Mandy:

Living in the sterling creek place still
Muscles and Ginger are good pets
Colin is still very cute and is singing all this morning and last evening about ground control to major tom and also about arkan-sass.
Work is going forward with EMR and other "Codeword" changes. Things I can't really talk about in a public forum but which Future Mandy will understand. Hint Hint.
I like all my worky people right now, for the most part. Which is good. Getting good people hired and bad people fired.
Work has double and tripled in complexity and actual work so it is hard to even think about doing anything else.
Still moving forward with the insulin pump. It is between the Omnipod, which has no tubing, and the minimed, which does. My endo does not want the omnipod but I kind of do. Now I almost just want to get it to be contrary to him. Did I mention that I hate doctors? They are awful awful people.
I went camping last weekend with Mike and Andy and Colin and Andy's sort of girlfriend person Alise, whom I liked very much and then Mike's sort of love interest joined us with her daughter who was 3 and adorable.
Marya and Alex are having SUPREME marital difficulties and they will most likely divorce in the coming months. There has been a lot of drama associated with that which I will not go into here.
We've had a couple of people interested in the house in the last couple days and the plan is still to sell Colin's place and then have me buy a place in Medford and then probably get married.
I got the gmail address "amandarosemay@gmail.com" in preparation for name changes in the coming year or so.
Colin and I have also talked a little about kids and my move to wanting the insulin pump is partially motivated by wanting to get my blood sugars to a good pre-conception level.
My last a1c was 7.3 and I really need to get down below 7.
Other than that my days are filled with going to work, coming home, eating dinner with Colin, watching movies or TV dvds, playing Harvest Moon:Tree of Tranquility, doing crossword puzzles, and farting around on the facebooks for hours.

There, update finished!

5th of July Fever

Yesterday was eventful. I did a ton of mobile uploads to my facebook page. Here's a link:

Ashland Fourth of July Parade

By the way, I'm fairly active now on facebook, more so than here, obviously. So if you read this but you aren't my facebook friend already, friend me for chrissakes. Jeez.

I took some other pictures with my real camera but I can't find my cable to upload my pictures. It is around here somewhere.

Colin and I have been up at his house now for 4 months and we never really unpacked anything because we really really want to move. This makes finding things difficult sometimes. We spend an inordinate time asking each other where something is. Nothing really has a home since we don't want to spend the time organizing rooms and things since we just really want to move.

I'm not sure if I said anything here but Colin got a job for Josephine County so it is possible that we may be able to look into moving into town again, which would be great. We just have satellite internet up at his house in the deep woods, no cell reception, and the internet is spotty as it is. It doesn't like gmail so I can rarely send emails. Sometimes I can receive them but sending them out is more difficult. It makes keeping in touch with the rest of the world difficult.

Hopefully in the very near future, before november 30th so I can qualify for the tax credit, I'm going to try to buy a home in Medford. We've been looking at some places around where I work and there are some decent affordable places within walking distance. I'm really hoping it will work out before the end of the year! Hopefully Colin will be able to sell his place.

If anyone knows anyone who wants to live in a nice quiet rural area, with 6 acres that feels like you are out camping every time you walk out of the house, with beautiful views, let me know. Someone who doesn't care about super fast internet speeds, preferably, and who doesn't need to drive a lot.

CrackBerry (buttocks)

Dear the world,

Today I upgraded to a Blackberry. It is this one:



I'm so excited! Colin got the red manly one so I thought I should get the pink lady one so that we don't get our phones mixed up. It is going to rule so much. I get it tomorrow.

Also tomorrow Colin and I are going to go out to Dinner at Bella Union because someone from work gave me a $50 gift card! I'm pretty excited about that. It is a tasty tasty place in Jacksonville which is the cutesy town I sort of live near now.

AND, in Jacksonville on 7/16/09 at the Britt Festival I get to go see Andrew Bird! I can't wait! We're going to sit in the fancy seats. The Britt Festival is this really beautiful amphitheater and there are reserved bench seats, reserved blanket seats and then just free for all seats way far away from the stage. I've gotten to sit in the reserved blanket seats before but I've never splurged for the front reserved bench seats. I'm pretty excited about being able to actually see and hear the people for once.

This weekend we're going to go down to Yrethra and Colin will hopefully get some more work done on the built-in bookshelves he is building and installing for my mom. What a great boyfriend!

I'm off to the pharmacy now, as I still have the diabetes and I need to get some more insulin. Then I'm making the long trip home and eating top ramen for dinner. What a great day!

I know, right?

So I'm going to try to start blogging again. I think it is about time. I was going to start but then I got scared because of an incident at work where a random blogger on blogspot mentioned my place of business in a sort of nasty blog post and someone did a search, found it, it got back to the administrator here, by boss, who put me in charge of trying to find out more about the situation she was talking about. I did, but then it made me worried to think that it could have been me. So rule number one about my blog is NO TALKING ABOUT MY JOB.

Also, the boyfriend Colin, who I've been dating for almost a year now, is a very private person and doesn't really want me to go on and on about our relationship here so rule number two about my blog is DON'T EMBARRASS COLIN OR TALK ABOUT THINGS HE WANTS TO KEEP PRIVATE.

That doesn't leave a lot for me to talk about but I decided I need more in my life than boyfriend and work. I am a well rounded lady with many interests. There's got to be something to talk about.

Like movies!

I saw Terminator on Saturday and it was mostly MEH especially compared with Star Trek, which I loved. I think the coolest part was when the CG Ahnold came back. Also when christian bale had that freakout. I wish they HAD filmed that and put in in the movie at the end over the credits. That would have been freaking awesome.

We've been watching HBO's Rome series too. I watched some episodes a while back but I'm watching the whole thing from beginning to end now and it kind of rules. Pullo is the best character ever maybe.

Colin and I are thinking about going to Las Vegas over the 4th of july holiday for my birthday. I'm so excited! I've never been there but it will be sad to miss the fourth in Ashland. We'll see.

Have A Scary Chanukkah!

Hi. You know, sometimes with all this holiday hustle and bustle, it can be easy to forget the true meaning of Halloween. We observe Halloween to celebrate the birth of Christ. And in celebration of his birth, many traditions have been handed down through the years.

The hiding of the eggs.

The annual pilgrimage to Mecca.

Halloween is a day to bring your daughter to work.

Or your secretary.

And it's the biggest shopping day of the year!

But most of all, Halloween is a time for young people to gather together spreading holiday cheer by lighting bags of their own crap on fire, ringing the doorbell, and running away. So America, Happy Halloween, or as we like to call it, Chanukah.

Have a scary Chanukah!

Is the erection over yet?

I really want that glasses lady to be president. She is one hot piece of mutha, you know what I'm sayin'?

Also, I watched the 1/2 hour obamathon on wednesday and I had this to say about it after about 10 minutes. "I give this a big thumbs down so far!" But I warmed up near the end. It was vague and mostly stupid and not aimed at people like me who are going to vote for him anyway. I heard on NPR that 10% of the population still don't know who they are going to vote for.

I didn't know that the were that many retarded people in America over the age of 18 who were eligible to vote! If I were the caretaker of one of those 10% of mentally handicapped people I would just say "Chocolate or Vanilla, Barry? Which one do you like better?" And then have them pull the chocolate lever. I think mentally handicapped people like chocolate more than vanilla, generally speaking. In my experience.

And they are all named Barry.

I've been at this new manager job of mine for 5 months now and I've learned only one thing that will take me through to my death bed.

Managing people = Managing Poop.

It is really hard. I was always a really easy employee. I never complained, I would always fill in, I'm great in short. I'm really surprised at how much attention some people need! I don't mind giving them attention but I just never knew that some people were like this at work. It is really hard work.

I moved! I have a really nice big place now in Talent which is closer to work and it comes with a dog, a cat and a boyfriend.

Am I saying that Colin and I moved in together after only knowing each other for two months? Yes. That is what I am saying.

I watched Burn After Reading last night. I liked it. There was not one single redeemable character in the whole movie. They were all awful awful people. Horrible people. It was entertaining from the beginning to the end.

You are a booger face.

Fall is almost here! The Atumnal Equinox is fast approaching. I love fall best but you know what I hate most? Daylight Savings. I hate it! That won't be for a while though.

B.A. Baracus for President, Fool!

1 Month

Today is the one month anniversary of when Colin and I had our first date!

I just wanted to check in and say that everything is going along swimmingly. I feel like I am neglecting my friends and my family but it is totally worth it, suckers. Suckas!

My job has been mighty stressful lately so I think that even if I hadn't met Colin I probably still wouldn't be writing much.

Guess what? Colin and I are going to see Wilco play in Bend this weekend! I'm so excited.

Guess what else? Colin and I are disgustingly happy. If I saw Colin and I on the street together being all mushy and disgustingly happy I'd throw garbage at us.

Guess what else? I've been playing the newish Legend of Zelda game on Colin's weeeeeeewii and it rules.

Guess what else? I got a pretty big raise at work last month. I'm so lucky!

Guess what else? That's all.

Mandy Mandy Mandy

Amanda,

Hey there. Remember when it was the year 2008? And you stopped writing in your blog very much? Don't you regret that so much? Don't you wish you had taken more time to document what was going on in your life? Don't you wish that missiles would rain down from the heavens and kill everyone who has done you wrong?

Remember that movie Reign of Fire with Christian Bale and Tony the Tiger? I mean, Russell Defoe? I mean, Matthew Mcconaughey. With the dragons and the fire? That movie sucked so bad. I loved it.

Justin sent me a link about Christian Bale being arrested for beating up his mom and his sister. I'm glad I don't love him as much as I used to in my youth and childhood.

Also, I officially have a boyfriend. Not like how I say things like, "Oh my god, I love the guy who works in the coffee shop, he is totally my boyfriend!" Or "My boyfriend Christian Bale and I were talking the other day about how much his mom and sister need a good punch in the face..." This is a serious significant other type boyfriend. Like when he meets Angelina and Casey tonight when we eat dinner at the hospital cafeteria I will introduce him to them as "My boyfriend, Colin." It is totally serious for real for reals.

Now I can finally feel what it is like to have a man complete me, like a real lady instead of the sad and pathetic single girl lost in a sea of confusion like I have been.

I already miss being single.

Remember how great it was when all I had to do was pay attention to myself? How do you married people and people with kids DO this stuff?

Full frontal disclosure

So I went on match.com. I know, right? Who would have ever thought that Mandy would do such a thing. But I did. Not only that, but I met someone! In real life! I know this will probably illicit a bunch of curious comments but I just wanted to get it down in here in a post because I've been posting so much less frequently and the thing I like most of all about this thing is that I can go back in time and see what I was up to. So for Future-Mandy, this month and year, July of 2008, I met a guy named Colin who is probably the coolest person ever.

I also made it to my first 90 days in my very fancy grown-up job! Which means I can't call it my new job anymore and I can't use it as an excuse for not writing as much.

If you want to watch my nephew kill his first dinosaur click here:
small boy kills first dinosaur. robot monsters next

My brother and jack are so weird.

My dad got an RV/camper/trailer. And apparently he has a gift for me that I am looking forward to getting sometime.

Justin and Alicia are having a baby girl! Justin said that he was going to name her "Clementine Josephine Roses Amanda Byrne" I hope that Alicia is okay with that name because I've already engraved many gifts with her monogram.

That's it, fuckbuckets. That will just have to be enough for now.

My new camera gave me herpes.

I'm so great.

Seattle's Worst

First I went to Bremerton and slept and then I went to seattle on the ferry and then I saw a baseball game. The Mariners lost. And why not the big sea-man for a mascot instead of a moose? Why? Like the guy up top, for example.

The Mariners lost but I really got to know Ichiro intimately and I think it is going to work out for us. And My aunty Tooney wants me to name my first born son Yuniesky after a baseball player named Yuniesky. But I am not going to have children, so fuck her.

Then we, my aunty and my cousins Bucky and Maggie and their significant others Zach and Krista, we all went to pioneer square and drank beer and I had a dirty martini and it was a b-last!

And other things happened that I'll tell the tale of later because I'm too tired of typing right now.

It was the best 30th birthday ever!!!! Although I did get pulled over by a dirty copper just after midnight so I guess that wasn't my 30th birthday anymore. But I didn't get a ticket or anything. And yesterday I bought a brand new fancy camera that I looooove and I'll post some really really great pictures once I get them on my 'puter. Here is a taste of the fun times to come when that happens.






You've got to stop being such a dick.

30!!!

Thirty!!!!

Squirty Squirty.

Everything in my life has changed and I blame you and I miss this blog and also it is real real smokey in the outside. Are you following me Camera Guy

The whole reason I'm even writing this now is because I want one of those sham-wow things from the TV and I need to let the world know. Mayhaps I can find the ad on youtube. Mayhaps.

Ah yes.



First off, I want to marry that guy. I want to marry him and have his kids and take family fotos with all of us wearing microphones on our heads just like his.

Also, the part about the Germans. Golden.

Beware of shamwow imitators.

What've I been all up to. Jesus, I don't know. Stop asking me dumb questions.

I'm working all day and all night. Today I dyed my hair. It was really smokey outside all day. It still is but now it is dark and it is hard to see the smoke but you can smell it and it gets in your eyes. As the song goes. It is funny to try to air out your stinky small apartment after dying your hair only to have your apartment fill with smoke and then you just have an apartment filled with hair dye smell and smoke and then you pass out for a little bit and have some very wild and crazy dreams about Black on Black Crime. Ya'll can't blame me for hip hop.

I watched a lot of tv today. It was a day like any other day.

My lesbian wedding is next week! Remember when I had my big competition for who would be my date to the lesbian wedding? Well, no one entered that competition. Not a single person. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, folks. fucks, is what I mean to say. Anyway, I have a big itinerary. Firstly, I leave on the fourth or the fifth or something and drive the long hours to the Seattle area of Washington STATE. Then I turn 30 years BOLD on the 6th. Then the dyke wedding. At some point I'm watching the Mariners play baseball and also some star trek episodes at my aunt's house. Then I'm just kind of hanging around I guess. Then I'm driving back home and cleaning up the storm of shit that is liable to be all over my desk at work. It is nice to feel needed though.

Please leave me a comment if you read this. The reason is, I want to see if anyone is still reading this after I've not written anything for so long. I doubt it.

Have a happy fourth of Jews Lie.

*updated at 2241*

OH man, you gotta read this guy's wikipedia page. Oh man:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shamwow

Vice Offer. What a name.

If I was a defense lawyer I would always argue that my clients lack motive and opportunity because of their welfare queen mother's poor upbringing, their own personal laziness, and because they were raised before george w bush wouldn't allow them to be left behind like the lucky kids of today. This way, all the redneck dicks would let them off. I'd be the best defense lawyer ever!

I watched Black Snake Moan last night. I just don't know WHAT to think anymore! It was good, I guess. And it had Justin Timberlake in it and then last night I had a dream that I was hanging out with Justin Timberlake because I was like his neighbor or something and he was playing some music that was blowing my mind and just being generally really cool and I said, "Justin, you are the coolest friend I've ever had in my whole life." And he said "That's great for you. We should hang out more often." And he said it in a way that made me understand that he didn't really think of us as "friends" but more as "neighbors" and "acquaintances." Fuck you, JT!

I also had a dream that somehow I got framed and everyone thought I was a big pothead and I was working for both Hilary Clinton AND Barak Obama's campaigns and there was a big controversy over it but since it was a black mark on both of their campaigns it all came out a wash. But I felt really really bad and was crying to Hilary saying "I let you down! I'm so sorry I let you down! I let my nation down!" Also bob dole was there and it was at the beach and I had a package of hotdogs in my hands that I hated for some reason.

I'm pretty sure that this dream was because I forgot to drop my ballot of at the polling station for the oregon primaries last week. I let my nation down and I had voted for Obama so I had also let Hilary down even though it didn't really count since I didn't actually vote for Obama because I let my nation down by not sending my ballot in. I've said it before but it bears repeating. Democracy totally stresses me out! I like it when my dreams are so easy to analyze, however. Except for the hotdogs part. Oh wait, I know what that means too.

Cause at least I know I'm free

And I'll proudly stand UP!

Do you know that song? I'm proud to be an american. I was just singing it because I have a funny secret. Sometimes I think it is totally great and endlessly amusing that I have diabetes. This morning I woke up and got out of bed and then sat on my couch, which is my favorite thing to do especially on a sunday morning. But there was a needle on my couch. And I remember all the times I was kind of embarrassed when someone would be visiting and there would just be needles around or streaks of blood near my computer at work because I tested my blood sugar and didn't wait for my finger to stop bleeding before I went back to work. But I'll tell you something. I'm not always embarrassed. Sometimes I think it is totally badass and it rocks and it rules and it automatically makes me feel tuff and better than other people.

I love myself!

Anyway, my aunty made me write something by making me feel guilty. And angelina made me feel guilty and other people who left comments about not reading anything on my blog. Whatever, all you bitches and hos.

I saw Iron Man yesterday. I liked it a lot but I have to tell you it wasn't as great as I had been led to believe that it would be. For instance, Transformers last summer was better. But it was pretty good. And any kind of America where Robert Downey Jr. plays a superhero is one that I am proud to a citizen of. And I'll proudly stand UP.

I'm tired. 7:30 in the morning is too early to write a blog.

Here are the things I have to say, hey hey.

I put up a boooootload of pictures from my grandmother's 90th birthday celebration and the preperation of said celebration. They are on my flickr page:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/diapantsies/

It was a heap of fun.

Right now I am watching a very serious program called "Nazi Scrapbooks From Hell" If I knew that all those scrapbooking parties I've been invited to over the years could be THIS fun I would have joined one a long time ago.

My new job is great and I love it but it does not give me very much time or leave me with very much energy to write. This will hopefully change as I get better. Wearing important business lady clothes and heals every day, working long hours, thinking ALL DAY LONG, and then trying to go for walks after work, all of these things leave me dead by the end of the day and usually asleep on my couch before I can even enjoy my favorite television programs that I can now watch because I don't work evenings anymore.

Everything is fine right now though. Don't worry about me, sweetcheeks.

Disco Dancing

Everybody Loves Disco Dancing

P.S.

I.O.U. One big long-ass blog post. I took another job. I am a fancy business lady. I'm too busy for blogs. I wear high heals and suits. Well, I might at least. I'm very important. You'll need to take that into consideration .

BIRTHDAYS - FUCK!

Happy birthday yesterday to dirty thirty squirty squirty thunder-ants Marigold who is SO OLD!

Here we are earlier this month as BFF's with some rotten kid that kept getting in my way:



And Happy Birthday today to my Oldest of Old Old brothers!



Myles, you are SOOOOOO OLD. You disgust me. Toilet fucker.

My life and times have been totally butchered and poisoned with arsenic by old-timey serial killers, including women.

I read every single wikipedia page about female serial killers. There were some doooozies. I guess the ladies like arsenic best for the killing. Does the job. Gets the job done. And how.

I don't think this fleeting fascination is indicative of anything. But they always say that.

I've been playing Civilization IV again. A Lot.

I'm reading a good book. That's why I started reading about female serial killers. It is called Devil in the White City and it is about H.H. Holmes and the Chicago World's Fair and other things. I recommend it.

Easter was Eastery.

Jesus rose from the dead.

My brother's birthday is the day after tomorrow and Marigold's is tomorrow. I haven't done anything for either of them.

My parent's neighbor Wayne Fiorucci died. Unexpectedly and too young. They went to his funeral this morning.

My grandma's knee is blown up like a melon and she has to have all sorts of medical things done to her. But she still doesn't have diabetes so I'm not quite sure what she has, truly, to complain about so much. Jesus.

I am cold and distant.

The back of a retard? Or not? A MYSTERY

Today at hospital job I was walking behind a slow sort of waddling white haired man down by the cafeteria. I thought maybe he was a retard. He had the build. He was lumbering. He had a square head. He was disheveled. His pants were too short. He had on retard shoes. They were all black tennis shoes with thick soles like the ones that a worker at McDonald's might wear. A retarded McDonald's worker. He had a big plastic bag of food that had two 20 oz Diet Dr Peppers and a bunch of other crap in it. I thought, "That kind of looks like the food a retard would choose." But then I had to wonder. Diet? I mean, Diet Dr. Pepper does taste a lot like regular Dr. Pepper but I found it perplexing that a retard might buy Diet. He was portly and squat and so the diet choice was warranted. For some reason I have an idea of retarded people, especially men, as being gluttonous. Or at least unashamed of being seen in public with a bunch of crappy food if they are overweight.

I never got a look at his face so we'll never know. Maybe retards do like Diet Dr. Pepper. Maybe he was just a normal old man who happened to look a little retarded from the back. IT IS A MYSTERY FOR THE AGES.

His neck was definitely down-syndromy. And his jowels. From the back, at least. This will keep me up tonight.

I feel happy today.