And a weaker bathroom lightbulb just might take care of it. Cause the mirror shatters your illusions when you look like shit.

From May 13th

Aint it the truth brothers and sisters. I guess I'm just aging like the finest wines and cheeses...

So what's been up with old amandapants, you find yourself asking yourself constantly. Oh my god, what is she up to RIGHT THIS MINUTE. Hmmm... Let's ask.

Asked and Answered.

I find myself once again in Yrethra. I had to go to the grocery store. Whenever I go anywhere in this town my blood boils and I try not to make eye contact with anyone. That way, if I see someone I might know, I don't know it. And I can more comfortably ignore that which I can't actually see. You know how it is. Yes you do.

I watched the marathon of America's Next Top Model today. All day long. It was awesome. I really enjoy that show. It might be my favorite Reality Television Program. I'm not too much into that whole scene.

Amber Alert!

They keep showing these alerts on TV but with no details. What if I'm the one who is missing?

I downloaded an album called The Dresden Dolls by a band called Dresden Dolls. It is pretty good. It has this one song that I heard on the radio a couple of times called Coin Operated boy. I like the album. I've also downloaded Elliot Smith's Roman Candle, The Decemberists' Her Majesty The Decemberists, Weezer's Pinkerton, Joni Mitchell's Song to a Seagull, Wilco's Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, and some random songs here and there. All for 6.99 a month. It is kind of a sweet deal. It was free for a while but then they started charging me and I haven't cancelled it because It is cheaper than buying one or two or three fucking cd's a month like I was doing. Ridiculous. I am a media pop culture whore and I am so ashamed. I know a lot of shit though, yo. A lot of shit. I've been taking practice GRE tests. I love them. I haven't done any math ones yet because I am scared but I did down load a math GRE practice thingy.

I have always enjoyed tests. We were teaching my little nephew analogies. To see if he could get them, intellectually. My brother said, "Jack, Thing is to rocks what Spiderman is to ... what?" and Jack said "Webs." And then my brother said, "Spiderman is to Webs what Chachi (our dog) is too..." and Jack said "Bones." That's sort of on the right track. And then my brother said, "Spiderman is to webs what Aunt Mandy is too..." And Jack thought for barely half of a second and replied plainly, "Badness." So maybe Jack thinks badness is my super power. Or maybe he just thinks I am a bad aunt. He is just a child. Out of the mouths of whatever.

Other than work and school and writing papers and reading lots and lots of stuff, I pretty much have no time to do anything worth writing about here. Goddamn I have been reading a shitload of shitloads. I am now a total post modernist cyborg feminist now. Literary theory-wise. Here are a few of my favorite things.

I wrote this last week and was too lazy to look up my favorite quotes. So here they are now. A couple of them at least:

"The mouth of the anorexic wavers between several functions: its possessor is uncertain as to whether is is an eating-machine, an anal machine, a talking-machine, or a breathing machine (asthma attacks). Hence we are all handymen: each with his little machines. For every organ-machine, an energy machine: all the time, flows and interruptions. Judge Schreber has sunbeams in his ass. A solar anus. And rest assured that it works." - Deleuze and Guattarie from The Anti-Oedipus (1972).

Don't ask me to synthesize the meaning of this essay or even what this section has to do with the whole. It would take too long and I would probably get a lot of it wrong. But isn't this a great quote? I mean, whoever Judge Schreber is has sunbeams in his ass. (He was a german judge who spent some time in the nuthouse and wrote a memoir about his experiences and apparently Freud used this memoir as part of his studies on paranoia.)

VHI keeps advertising this Super Group Show and I totally want to see it. I will forever regret not seeing Sebastian Bach on broadway in Jekel and Hyde when I was in New York. I had to go see that pansy Rent show and that peice of crap Paul Simon debacle. And gay assed Stomp. And the evil essentializing Ragtime. And that whore-life glorifying The Life. All of which were totally awesome.

Here's another great thing I read in an essay for class. This one is by Donna Haraway and it is called "A Manifesto for Cyborgs."

"Movements for animal rights are not irrational denials of human uniqueness; they are clear-sighted recognition of connection across the discredited breach of nature and culture. Biology and evolutionary theory over the last two centuries have simultaneously produced modern organisms as objects of knowledge and reduced the line between humans and animals to a faint trace re-etched in ideological struggle or professional disputes between life and social sciences. Within this framework, teaching modern Christian creationism should be fought as a form of child abuse."

I like to take the last line out of context.

I've been learning so many cool things lately it is really hard to imagine how much smarter I am now than I was. But easy to imagine how much smarter I am than you.

Also, I bought a digital camera today. On a whim. I missed having a camera. I haven't had one for years and years. I used to be quite a picture taker. I have boxes and albums filled with pictures. All up to about the year 2000. I don't know what happened then but I stopped taking pictures. So now that I have a computer I decided it was stupid not to have a digital camera. Also, I was thinking about the personal treasure trove I have in one of my boxes of pictures which is undeveloped film that I don't even remember taking. I wonder what wonders they hold? I should really get them developed.

I found this old old old picture of my grandmother amongst my mothers pictures today, since I am Yrethra again and felt like looking a pictures. And I then I took a picture of the picture. I'll probably take some more tomorrow and maybe I'll post those. This picture must be like at least 75 years old because my grandma is 88 years old now. She looks exactly the same except with no glasses and red lips.



Isn't it a neato picture?

Also, today I built a time machine out of trees, dirt, and gumption.