Everybody is working for the weekend, so they say. I, on the otherhand, am working ON the weekend. They asked, I answered. The call. Because I always step up. Perserverance. That's my middle name. Prudence Perserverance Pisspants. I decided that the new baby name for little AAA the male version is Avid. As in, I am an avid reader. Also, as in David without the stupid D, which stands for Duh. Duh, David. Duuuuuuh. And it also stands for dumb. So in short, Avid, not David, Adams. Or Ansil. Avid Ansil Adams. Avid Advil Adams. Anvil Aesop Adams. Aooooga. Ancillary. Lary, for short. Aragorn. Oh god, I should not have suggested that. My sister is just enough of a dork to actually name her child Aragorn.
Speaking of the Adamseses, I am going to be visiting them shortly. Tomorrow, actually. Actually Adams. I will be driving to Yrethra this afternoon after work, much sleep deprived, as I have had to work at 6am on both these days of the sabbath and the sundath. My parents just remodeled their bathroom so I plan on spending most of the evening all up in there, a la Michael Ian Black in that one Stella Short called David's Cousin where he spends a long time in David's Cousin's bathroom, hilariously. 
On Monday morning, at dawn, I will wake the townspeople in my usual fashion, running through the streets in my underpants and helmet, with my chainsaw, shouting "Day Time! Day Time!" And then I will most likely hit the road, jack, at, lets say, about, oh I don't know, 8:30 to 9:00-ish. I will make my way south to cloudyvale, realize I've gone too far, and turn back around to my intended destination, Sunnyvale, which is where the Adamseses make their home. Or is it mountainview now? I can't remember.
I will make my sister cut out of work early, play with her baby for a while, chit chat with the old Brother-In-Law, and then my sister and I will drive into the City. Night in the city looks pretty to me. Night in the city looks fiiiiiiiine. Perhaps we will grab a bite to eat. Perhaps we will drive around endlessly looking for parking and arguing. Perhaps we will find The Independent on Divisidero with no problem at all, park, eat, and then run into Michael Showalter and Michael Ian Black on our way to the show and they'll invite us to visit with them backstage after their acts if we promise to give them blowjobs. Perhaps.
Stranger things have happened. So shut up.
One time I was in the City with my sister she left her car unlocked and my purse got stollen along with her blackberry and some other stuff. That was really fun. We were meeting my aunty Peggy for dinner as she had a layover in SF on her way to Japanland. Good ol' Aunty Peggy. Always good for a good time. For a good time, call Aunty Peggy. For a bad time, park your car in the tenderloin, leave valuables in it, unlock it, and simply walk away. It is as easy as that. There are better ways to have a bad time, however, like contracting a sexually transmitted disease, or getting caught in a blizzard, or daterape. You decide.
I have a problem. Can someone tell me the rules again about its and it's and it is and it belongs to it? I never got this down and it has been driving me crazy! Don't worry about there and their and they're. I've got that down pat. It is just the its'ss'es.
2 comments:
Its is it belongs to it and it's is it is.
Example:
Q: What's that abnormally enlarged vein outside the anal sphincter and beneath the surface of the anal skin on that monkey?
A: It's its hemorrhoids.
Aunt Peggy is your favorite aunt. Just admit it For God's Sake. You have always liked her better than me.
Post a Comment