There's a house on my block that's abandoned and cold.

I'm sure everyone reading this right now came immediately to my site on Monday morning expecting a long and in depth piece on amandypant's take on Oscar night. Well, it is Monday evening now so sorry to have made you wait all this long long time.

The Oscars ruled.

Hey, did I mention I'm looking for a job? I am. Have you ever had pretend interviews in your head where they ask you the perfect questions that you have the perfect answers for? I have. A Lot. And then, the other day, I found myself on the phone with a fellow from the Asante Human Resources department. Guess what? He asked me all the pretend questions I had asked myself over and over again in my head and out loud in my car while driving. It felt so surreal that I didn't know what to say so I ended up sounding like a complete dunce/blow your own horn sally. Blow your own sally is not a character I play well. People don't like her. We'll see. We'll all just have to wait and see.

I have more to say about the Oscars. I love John Stewart. And I love George Clooney. Not in the middle age woman, everyone loves George Clooney type of way. But a true-love type of way. A meaningful way in which George and I are like old friends from another life. I will let you know, however, that I wanted Michelle Williams to win for best supporting actress mostly for her work in The Baxter. And I wanted David Strathairn to win for best actor, mostly for his work in Sneakers and also Goodnight and Goodluck. You may remember I mention that he would be nominated for an Oscar when I saw it a few months ago. Just call me predictor pruella. I wanted Dolly Parton to win for best song because that traveling song is really really good. I heard it a few times yesterday because I saw Transamerica yesterday afternoon in preparation for the Oscars. I like to see as many of the movies as I can or else I feel like a sham when I watch them and yell at the TV. I liked those rapper fellows though. But the weird staging of that pimp song and that stupid crash song were really really horrible. Horrible!!! THE MOST AWFUL PART OF THE OSCAR NIGHT!!!

I didn't see walk the line so I guess Reese witherspoon is just fine compared with the others.

Is it just me or was that crash song like a bad version of an Aimee Mann song from Magnolia? And don't get me started on that Crash movie winning best movie. I mean, really. It is an okay movie at best. Entertaining in a hit you over the head sort of way. Fun big cast. I saw that haggis director guy on the Charlie rose program and he admitted to stealing from altman liberally so I thought it was fitting that they gave that guy a lifetime achievement award. But should that have pointed out that crash is a 2nd rate version of a great Altman movie?

Why does this post have so many question marks? It is a mystery. And so is mankind. Let's go get milk-faced and hum like rabbits.