Itemized

Topic 1 - Advice for the lovely Filipinas

Opportunity for Marigold or possibly a compatriots of hers that I found in the newspaper yesterday. Always looking out for you ladies. You know which ones I mean.

Tuition Paid In Full
I'm a prominent local business man who is looking to hire a Filipino woman, age 18+, to help acclimate, my Filipino fiance to the United States. I'm looking for a companion who will attend the university with her and help her adapt to living in the U.S. In exchange for your services, I'm willing to pay for all your school costs, including tuition, housing, meals and transportation. Please call my cell for details, 503-336-5134, ask for David, or E-mail:
dswygant@yahoo.com
Announcements - Mail Tribune - 01/17/2006

Topic 2-My studies

I totally kicked ass on that question assignment. Not only did I get all the rules and regulations correct but the damned professor read my damned question aloud and said that it gave him "maybe 1% more faith in the education system." Of which he had very little to begin with, in case you didn't catch that. Very little. He hates us so much. All of our piddling thoughts rattling around in our poo-poo diaper baby minds. That is his subtext in his lectures at least.

Topic 3-What to rent/buy/look at.

For those of you who have netflix or a cool video store near by, rent DIG! It is a documentary (rockumentary, if you will) about a sort of a kind of a rivalry between two bands from Portland over about 7 years or so. The bands are the Dandy Warhols, who you may have heard of before (I had because my brother's friend Harold grew up with the lead singer and because one of my old roommates had one of their CDS) and another band called The Brian Jonestown Massacre. Clever, huh? Anywho, it is a great movie and I bought a CD of the B J Massacre and it is really good. I would describe it as Hippie-Indie-Psychedelic-Folk-Rock. But my listening experience is definitely enhanced by having seen the movie.

Topic 4 - Baby Names

My first suggestion is Hibiscus Haske because it has many nice qualities. Alliteration, Consonance, and it is a flower of sorts. Or a plant I guess. Also, it is Unisex.

I have lots of other suggestions. Like an abortion. Then I don't have to worry so much about this goddamned baby's name. Or you could always put it up for adoption. I think a great pro-life propaganda message could be thought up if someone would make something catchy out of adoption and option. I would, but I hate those pro-lifers. Hmmm.. Maybe I could make something up using prolife and prophylactic. Something clever is hidden there. Something. I guess we'll never really know. In the end.

Topic 5 - My life at large

Things are going okay, I guess. I am rehearsing for a play that I don't talk about much because it sort of sucks but things are coming together. As they usually do. My parents will be returning from a Mexican cruise in a couple days. I am jealous because I have always wanted to go "cruising" in Mexico. If you know what I mean. And if you've seen Brokeback Mountain, I'm sure you do. By the way, Heath Ledger will NOT be getting an Oscar for Casanova. A charming movie but utterly forgettable. One of my professors dislikes me. I can tell by the way she snears at me and finds ways to disagree with every comment I make. Stupid Bitch. She is my Women Writers professor. Maybe she can sense my hostility toward my own "fairer sex." Or maybe it is because I called Abigail Adams "Johnny's Bitch." And Sojourner Truth, "That uppity loudmouth bitch." Wait until we get to Virginia Woolfe. What a bitch she was.

But seriously folks, I spew nothing but the finest liberal feminist leaning rhetoric that Humboldt State University's English Department had to offer, at times paroting things that my former professors actually said about the stuff I'm having to re-read, and it's like she has this idea of me as a conservative possibly religious door mat and/or rightwing male establishment apologist. Or maybe I am reading too much into this. I just want people to like me.