How are my classes going? I'll tell you how my classes are going.

Putting myself in danger of failing a class I've decided to post this email I got from one of my professors. The class is "War in the Modern World." History 399. The teacher's name I emitted because he seems a bit whacked and I wouldn't want him googling himself and inadvertently finding this blog and then failing me because he is a cry baby.

Folks,

Please submit your weekly question this week by email. In order for your submission to be accepted, it must conform to the following format:

1. Subject line-- Hst 399: Week 1
(there must be a space between "Hst" and "399," one after the ":", and one between "Week and "1").

2. On the first line of the body of the email, put your name (first last), a blank space after your last name, then a forward slash ("/") followed by "Week 1" (do not include the quote marks).

3. Hit "enter" twice and then put in your question. I suggest you write and spell check your question in your usual word processor and then "paste" your it into your email. If you don't know how to do this, find out. It's basic. Make sure there is a blank line between the first line (the one with your name) and your question.

4. Unlike a regular email, do not begin with "Dear Dr. (name changed)Schmoctor" and do not end it by "signing" your name.

5. Here is an example of the message body (do not put in the dashed lines shown below):

---------------------------
Todd Schmoctor(name changed slightly) /Week 1

Given all the advances in civil rights, workers rights, and women's right made in the United States in the decades after the Civil War, and also considering the widespread availability of both education and psychological therapy throughout the twentieth century, why at the beginning of the twenty-first century are there still more horses asses than there are horses?
---------------------------

Please take a few minutes when you send your question to conform to these few format rules.

Best regards,

Todd Schmoctor

Ahhh... College. Ahhh... Anal professors. This is just taking me back, let me tell you what. Like the time a teacher in the drama department at Humboldt gave an assignment to write down everything that our character says about our own character, everything that the other characters say about our character and anything at all in the script that is written about our character. And when I turned it in she made me take it home and retype it because I hadn't put quotes around each line. And docked me a grade. Because it was late. Because that's how to learn acting. I can't tell you how much this exercise has helped in my dramatic career since that class. I now put "quotes" around everything. Like when I talk about my "education" or the "theater department" at "Humboldt state university." Fuckwads. Fantastic fuckwads.

Actually, I love this history teacher guy. He is completely insane and a total asshole but I think he is great until he screws me over. The first day of class he was going over the syllabus and was reading to us that our papers and essays should be clear and lucid and this fat kid behind me asked, "what do you mean by lucid?" and the professor said, "I mean what everyone who uses the word lucid means." and then went on. And the kid behind me muttered "asshole." It was great. That fat kid was so embarrassed. As well he should be. Idiot. Horses Ass.

And my sister got me a great deal on an awesome laptop!!! I am so excited. I will be totally in with all the cool kids now. Well, not until I get a cell phone. But well on my way!! Sweet. What else. Oh yeah, I support the law.