Have a Scaaaaaary Chanukah!

So here's the deal. I'm working more hours, which is great, I'm writing a lot for my writing class, which is double great, The internet, not my internet, but someone nearby with the internet I've been using for some time now, is down, which is double double dumb ass on you shitty AND SO as a result, I have not been able to work on my podcast. I wanted to do a special halloween podcast and I had intended to put the real life audio from my favorite show ever in the world The State into the podcast. But I'll just have to settle for this transcript. I've put this transcript up for the last three Halloweens here, I think. It never gets old. Unlock your mom's vagina. That shit gets old fast. But it only takes a minute anyway.

(Edit: I of course meant to say "Unlike your mom's vagina" but I didn't notice this error until several hours later. I am loathe to change it. Unlock your mom's vagina is such a great mandate.)

Mike S: Hi. You know, sometimes with all this holiday hustle and bustle, it can be easy to forget the true meaning of Halloween. We observe Halloween to celebrate the birth of Christ. And in celebration of his birth, many traditions have been handed down through the years.

Ben: The hiding of the eggs.

Kevin: The annual pilgrimage to Mecca.

Mike S: Halloween is a day to bring your daughter to work.

Ben: Or your secretary.

Kevin: And it's the biggest shopping day of the year!

Mike S: But most of all, Halloween is a time for young people to gather together spreading holiday cheer by lighting bags of their own crap on fire, ringing the doorbell, and running away. So America, Happy Halloween, or as we like to call it, Chanukah.

All: Have a scary Chanukah!

And you too, you out there, you have a nice nice very nice scary Halloween, alright?