So in case anybody who reads this doesn't read aunt faintly's blog also, which is doubtful, she wrote a little bit of somethin' somethin' about my family in her last blog entry. So here it is.
Also. I kind of had to break it off with my new friend for reason's I'll probably go into here if I have a drunken posting session soon. But in the mean time, I wish someone would supply me with some good euphemisms for breaking up with someone. That are funny.
October 24, 2005
Euphemisms for Breaking Up: A Challenge
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13 comments:
Apants said, "... I have a drunken posting session soon."
Do you throw-up before your posting performances, too?
"came to my senses"
"pulled my head out of my ass"
"sent the dickhead packing"
that's how I describe it, generally. personally. myself. not saying you should, necessarily.
"Walkin' the streets of Splitsville"
"Cancelled the Spice Channel"
"Terminated the girly-man"
"Weaned the babe from the tit"
"Severed the gangrenous growth"
"Traded in the kielbasa for the fish taco"
"Dry Scalp"
(That last one was Steve's)
a euphemism is, by definition, an inoffensive expression substituted for one that is considered offensive.
I don't believe the expressions, "pulled my head out of my ass" and "sent the dickhead packing" quite meet the standard. These phrases would more likely fall into the category of slang... language consisting of words and expressions that are not considered appropriate for polite occasions; often vituperative or vulgar.
that is one definition of euphemism. Another is simply any phrase or word used to replace a more blunt or unpleasant word or phrase. Yes, it can be a more mild or socially acceptable word or phrase but it doesn't necessarily HAVE to be. And shut up, will you? Why do you read my blog if you think everything I say or my friends and family say is stupid?
dry scalp, eh? yeah. I dry scalped the hell out of that mutha.
Apants said, "And shut up, will you? "
Apants, you were going along so nicely and then slipped over the edge, again. Your outburst made me laugh out loud.. you're outrageous. That's why I read your stuff, it's sooooo over-the-top... as in, what will she come up with next? And besides that, you make yourself such a huge target for poking fun at, it's hard to resist...all in good humor, of course.
I don't think you're stupid and I have never said or implied that you were stupid. No, definitely not stupid, foul and vulgar without doubt, but not stupid. Although, I must say that choosing to be foul and vulgar doesn't exactly send you to the head of the class ...if you know what I mean?!
toot, toot
I don't choose to be foul and vulgar. It is just who I am. Some say brevity. I say vulgarity. is the soul. of wit. In case you weren't sure what the reference was. You are just enough of an asshole to intrigue me but not enough of one to really consume me.
I wish I could feign disinterest better.
Apants said, "I don't choose to be foul and vulgar. It is just who I am."
Do you mean, like you have Tourettes syndrome?
Apants said, "Some say brevity. I say vulgarity. is the soul. of wit."
Yes Apants, but brevity implies a quickness, an intelligence, a refinement of mind. Vulgarity refers to that which is dirty, disgusting and utterly common, implying a coarseness of mind.
Anonymous says, "Vulgarity is the soul of the pigsty."
Next time you are inclined to say something foul, just envision yourself as a grunting pig rooting through a garbage pile... that's about as much wit it takes to be vulgar.
Apants said, "I wish I could feign disinterest better."
Why abandon a charming quality?
Now that I read this one:
"aunt tuna burger said...
a euphemism is, by definition, an inoffensive expression substituted for one that is considered offensive.
I don't believe the expressions, "pulled my head out of my ass" and "sent the dickhead packing" quite meet the standard. These phrases would more likely fall into the category of slang... language consisting of words and expressions that are not considered appropriate for polite occasions; often vituperative or vulgar."
I am starting to think the theory posted today, 11/15/05, might be correct.
NO SENSE OF HUMOR!!! Or, as the late Princess Diana would write: HUMOUR.
When someone asks for a euphemism and you say something vastly more crude and vulgar than the original statement, that is HUMOUR.
Something my brother used to understand. 30 or so years ago.
hello pittsburg.
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