Glom on to the Long Arm of the Law, Glom on to it.

So my aunt and my cousin and I spent several days in San Francisco/San Jose last week and it was enjoyable to a degree befitting the situation. My aunt tuney-balooney wrote the following account and I have added a few notes where I found her description to be lacking:

I have been on vacation for the past 9 or so days with my little daughter Maggie and my little niece Mandykins. We went to visit my other little niece Marya and her little babies Ailsa and Asher. And we had SO MUCH FUN!!!!! We took Hwy 1 down the-

I have to stop her here because we actually took Hwy 3 over to the coast from Yreka and drove briefly through Arcata (stopping to eat at Stars, remember Stars?) and then continued down 101 to Garberville or thereabouts and then cut over to Hwy 1. We then stayed the night in Fort Bragg in a fairly cheesy motel with a typed sign that said something funny in Engrish. I wish I could remember it but it was something like, "You will be charge $100.00 if you bring pet into room without telling us" I remember the "You will be charge" part. I think I'll have to email Maggie to remember the exact verbiage and how it was presented on the page.

coast through Mendo and Sonoma and I got wet in the ocean and then we had lunch in Bodega Bay and this is after we stayed Fort Bragg for the night and a homeless fisherman told me I was beautiful and anyway then we drove over the Golden Gate Bridge into San Francisco whilst Judy Garland belted out “San Francisco, Open Your Golden Gates” on the iPod

My iPod and only after I forced Tuney to let us play it and she said things like, "Is this really necessary?" and I said things like, "um, yeah, I think it is." And then of course she was so glad.

and then we visited the babies and such and then we went to Happy Hollow and that was lots of fun and then we went to Flyshacker Zoo which isn’t Flyshacker anymore and then I got drunk at the Cliff House and then I worked while they played and then Maggie and I visited my college roommate in San Carlos and we laughed a lot and then we went to San Francisco and we went down Lombard Street and then I got lost and then I got more lost and then I got lost some more and then we went to Haight Ashbury and met the funniest

Not the funniest. Really lame, actually. They thought he was cute, I didn't. But later Maggie said he was cute but that she wouldn't "Hold hands with him or kiss him or anything" because he was sort of gross like a sort of semi-dirty semi-hippie with a raging semi. I'm not sure about that last part.

comedian in San Francisco and he told a really stupid joke and that was at the Ben & Jerry’s on H-A and then we went to the Japanese Tea Gardens and I risked my life climbing the bridge

Tuney has an irrational fear of bridges. Good thing she doesn't live in San Francisco or another area of the country where there are a ton of bridges that you have to use all the time to get around (like,say... the Seattle area?).

and then we got lost some more and got in a big huge fight and then a bad bad man in a red Ford pickup truck honked and honked at me and I wanted slit his throat and I still do and then we parked and walked from Pier 1 to Pier 39 against the 80MPH gust of wind which stopped us in our tracks and then we ate clam chowder and such and then we wandered and finally got to Ghiradelli Square but didn’t have time to look around because we had to stand in line for a cable car

But we did have time to have a Mint Bliss sundae. Both Maggie and I enjoyed Mint Bliss chocolate sundaes at Ghiradelli Square and they were delectable. Maggie works in a chocolate store so she quite enjoyed seeing all of the famous chocolate making machinations and I enjoyed making Agustus Gloop jokes which came in handy later when we were playing the initials game and my aunt said A.G. and the answer was Agustus Gloop.

and there was a crazy douchebag man who was with a young boy who he claimed to be the mentor of "I happen to be his mentor!" and he got in a fight with the cable car conductor and a nice singing troubadour who sang a Willie Nelson song for the ladies in front of us and they loved him and then rode the cable car to the end of the line and then caught a cab with a Moroccan cab driver who hates China and says “It’s all over”

I asked him where he was from and he said I'm Moroccan but when you say that fast and with a Moroccan accent it sounds like "I'm Iraqin" and I said, "Iraqi? From Iraq?" and he said "No, I'm not from Iraq, I'm from Morocco" and then I felt stupid and American but I recovered by making a joke involving something like don't come moroccan when this cab's iraquin.

and then met Marya and went to Chinatown for the best dinner in the world and then bought a bunch stuff and then went home and then they slept in and I did not and then I got my computer fixed and at yummy things at the mall yummy fancy things and then played with babies all the rest of the day and played the initial game for 3 hours and then drove to my old house in San Mateo and my old elementary school and it all looks exactly the same and that made me happy and then ate cheeseburgers at Carl’s Jr. in Williams and accidentally let 180 flies in the car and then got home to my sisters house and ate artichokes and now we are at my mommy’s house and tomorrow we go home and soon I will post pictures, as will Mndykns.

And I did. You can view them on my flickr page. Flick This!

So when I was on vacation the whole Chris Crocker thing broke with his youtube video emotionally and vehemently defending Britney. This is genius. If you haven't seen it, you should. I'm not going to post it here because it has been everywhere but I've been looking at a whole bunch of his other youtube videos and I think I am in love with him. Here is one of my favorite quotes of his that I've already posted on another blog:

"I'm about to lose my manners and my mind. It's on for real now. Ya'll done did what you shouldn't have done. Ya'll done made me get huffy. And when I get huffy I get in your face, I get in your mind, and I get under your skin. Okay?...Keep it cute, or put it on mute."

He is the it girl right now.