Now I’m skinny and sick and paranoid without a cent to my name.

Am I the only one who is curious about lurkers? I see certain places pop up again and again on my sitemeter thingy. Lately, Pascagoula, Mississippi. And Toronto Canada. Some places I'm pretty sure belong to certain people. But others look at my blog again and again and I wish I knew who these people were so I could be best friends. But alas.

So I live with my brother, which is a fact I view as sort of pathetic. I wasn't planning on living with him for very long when I moved in with him but now it has been over 2 years and there is no end in sight. Except for that I sort of can't stand living there anymore. But I can't afford to move and it is rather handy to live there now that I am a poor starving student and all. I pay him rent and everything but he knows that I have to buy insulin and pay tuition and buy books before I pay him anything. Other landlords may not be so forgiving. Also, I hate landlords. They are crazy. Every single one I've ever had. The last one really scared me off of landlords for a long time. She was one crazy bitch, as my sister can attest. But I've now lived in this house with my brother for longer than any other place since I moved out of my parents house 10 years ago. I actually like moving. I think it is totally fun to get a fresh start. Which is probably why I rearrange the furniture in my room every few months.

The point of all of this is that lately my brother and I haven't been getting along so well. He is really really really really depressed and seems to just be getting worse and worse. I have a gamecube and enjoy playing games on it when the mood strikes me. My brother would also play games on it occasionally. It is in my room because I didn't want to have it out in the living room because I didn't want one of us to not be able to watch tv on the big nice tv if the other is playing some stupid game. As a result of his crappy depressiveness my brother has been spending like 4-5 hours a day in my room. I don't mind when I am gone, obviously, but when I am there I kind of want to be in my fucking room. All my stuff is in my room. All of it. Because there is no where in the house for my stuff. So everything I own is in my room. So I am spending more and more time away from home. And when I am home I am constantly asking him to get out of my room. And it is a pain in the ass. So yesterday I took my little tv and the gamecube and all the games and my chair and put them all in his room. I haven't seen him since then. It was probably the worst thing I could have done for his mental health but the best for mine.

It will be sad because I will miss Chachi, my brother's dog, and Jack, my nephew, but I have to move out of there or he is going to drive me completely nuts. It will suck for him because he probably won't be able to afford the house payments and will probably eventually have to move but that won't change if I move out now or if I move out 4 years from now. I'm not going to stay there so he can keep a house he can't afford and doesn't take care of. And his bitch of an non-ex-wife is demanding half of what the house is worth anyway so he is most likely going to sell it anyway.

I don't know. We'll see.