Ronery

CRAZY EYED BOTTLE HEAD FACE WITH STAIN ON SHIRT: A PORTRAIT



I am a very solitary type of person. I'm really most at home and comfortable alone with my thoughts and a book or a movie or driving. Especially driving and listening to music. But lately, probably due to hormones, I have felt the tug of the old social firefly I like to think I used to be. I wasn't ever really, but I did have friends and crowds and cliques and phone numbers and more people I felt beholden to spend time with then I have ever cared to since. I read an entry on one of my college friend blogs that had some old pictures and my friend Steve had commented that looking at the pictures reminded him of when good friends weren't digital and that really hit the nail right on the head there. I used to not only have friends I liked, I could pick and chose which ones I liked more and who I would rather spend time with. It takes me a long time to get to know someone well enough that the idea of hanging out with them doesn't sicken me. But there are a few people in the world I wish I could just call up and say, "hey, lets go see batman", or, "lets drive somewhere far away just to eat lunch somewhere and then drive home the same day." That's the kind of stuff I enjoy doing alone but that I wouldn't mind having someone else there for conversation. Anyway, I have taken to being slightly more friendly when I meet someone I think might be interesting. Normally if I meet someone who I think is cool I avoid eye contact and try to look as bored and disinterested in talking to them as I possibly can. Maybe now I'll try to even ask them a question. Like, where'd you get those shoes? Or, have you read this book? I'm not that great at inane questions. I tend to grill people when I really want to know something. I could move to Savannah and get an apartment right next door to marigold and Steve and be like Larry on three's company.

anyway, none of this information is new. I think I've even written about this very topic in this very blog. I just have to remind myself every so often that I did like people at one point and some of those people are still alive and living in the lower 48 states of these here united and I could actually call them or write a letter or even just an email or go visit them all over the country but probably I'll just go see the sisterhood of the traveling pants by myself so that no one will make fun of me and so I don't have to wait for some cocksucker to get their popcorn and shit and then argue over where to sit when I always sit in the 2nd or 3rd row and they always sit in the back and they don't like watching previews and they want to talk through the opening credits and then what the hell are we supposed to do when the movie is over? Discuss it? Fuck that shit, yo.

I would like to thank some people here. Thanks to my friends Justin and alicia for sending me surprises, my friends steve and marigold for sending me a Christmas card, my old friend from high school trish for calling me when she was in town and for sending me a postcard from Japan. My friend Becky

for also sending me a postcard from Japan and generally sending me postcards from wherever she is. Thanks to my friend Andy rydzewski for sending me a DVD he made. Thanks to my friend jim shelley for keeping me on his email list all these years though we really don't even know each other. Thanks to Will and Joanna in advance, my friends, for hopefully getting married some time in the future thus keeping faith alive that I may see some old friends again. Thanks to my friend Arron for starting an interesting blog for me to read. Thanks to these people and others for trying to keep in touch, I wish I could repay the favor some day.